Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: Jobs, employment, Twitter

Friday, 5 February 2010

image for Sun Microsystems CEO Tweets Resignation, Starts Trend
Tweet, tweet, tweet. Keep it short and sweet.

When the CEO of Sun used Twitter to announce (actually he did it through poetry!) his resignation, it started an important trend for human resource departments all over the world. Out are long, detailed memos to and from human resources. In are tweets, which by necessity are limited to 140 characters.

Personnel administrators are delighted to see tweeting put forward as a preferred method of communication. For example, one administrator said that she'd no longer be setting up exit interviews for employees on their last day of work. "Boring for all concerned," was how she assessed it. "We all have better things to do with our time." She added that now, before the security guards boot the employees out the door, they simply sit the exiting employees down at computers and have them tweet the answer to this question: "What sucked about your job here?"

Then there are those pesky little disciplinary issues. One bank personnel guy said that just this morning he handled two tricky issues with these tweets to two different employees. First, to Ms. Funn in Corporate Affairs: Pls do not adjust your bra and pantyhose at office window or blow kisses to guys in bldg across the way. Second, to Bank Manager, Mr. Nookie: Pls use bank vault for business purposes only and not for sexual encounters with Ms. Funn.

A public relations executive in a major corporation indicated that the trend doesn't have to be limited to personnel issues, nor just to the U.S. "Suppose, for example," he said, "Queen Elizabeth II decided to resign. No need for her to stand on ceremony and issue some kind of royal proclamation sent to thousands of dignitaries. That's so yesterday. A royal tweet from the palace would cover all bases." He recommends that, when the time comes, Her Majesty should keep it short and simple. "A tweet like I'm outta here should do the trick nicely," he said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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