Written by Richard DagNabbit
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Wednesday, 27 January 2010

image for Kiefer Sutherland Can't Buy a Mexican Rump Roast
Cattle Man Carr, Presenting his Ploy - "Now I can't see any way how you could make more money any faster, can you?

The already rich Movie Star, Kiefer Sutherland, fell for yet another git richer quick scheme today.

The gullible Sutherland flipped a Stockton Beefer Bogie upwards of a million bucks to "Fetch some Beefalos in Mexico" and "Flip 'em for Big Bucks in California."

The alleged corner crook, Michale Carr, told Sutherland he had "options" to buy Steers in Mexico at Low prices and that he could "make a bundle quick" by selling them in California at High prices and all he needed was money.

Without ever having seen a cow pie, much less bargain steers from foreign countries, the big money smell of the quick and hidden variety was too much to resist. Sutherland passed the cash and Carr, with money in hand, went to Mexico all right; where the money disappeared and Carr returned with no beef other than a scrap left over from a Fat Donald's' stop near the border.

Sutherland, dining with Accounting Guru Nicholas Cage, could not be reached for comment, but his agents did disclose he is working on two new films, "Rope-A-Dope Heaven" and "Buy Low, Sell High" which are expected to be released as soon as Sutherland comes up with the production money.

Reporting from the Stockyards of Ft. Worth, Texas


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