Written by P.M. Wortham
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Wednesday, 28 October 2009

image for Solar Powered Vibrator Rattles Store Shelves this Christmas
At home and at ease with Happy Time's personal care products

Sacramento, CA. - Sensitive to public interest in energy conservation and a reduction in hazardous landfill waste including discarded AA to D sized batteries, Happy Time Latex Products announced the availability of a full line of alternatively fuelled personal massagers this holiday season.

Spokesman for Happy Time, Hugh Jarekshun, tells reporters that early product sales look promising despite the struggling economy. "We expected a slow rise in interest this Autumn, hoping for strong and lasting performance at Christmas, but early demand has been titillating."

Demonstrating the patented technology, Jarekshun reveals an exterior mounted solar panel and common wire adapter that fits the entire line of high performance vibrators. When asked about the limitations for product use at night, Jarekshun responded, "Yes, that is why we are offering a small bio-diesel generator as an option. Just fill it up with used cooking oil and get the party started."

Eco-friendly products in the new Happy Time catalog include: "Thrusting Monkey", "Whirling Dervish", and the full sized riding saddle called the "Pleasure Pommel" which also offers an optional spank attachment. For male customers, products include the "Glory Hole" and the "Jittery Gerbil".

Critics asked about the limited target market for the new vibrators, pointing out that customers would likely be unemployed and home during the day, or need to eat enough fried food to create the oil for the generator. Jarekshun replied, "Yes, well most of our customers have always been sedentary home-bodies that need to self gratify. For those of us that aren't super models, this is an ecologically responsible cheap date with a guaranteed happy ending."

Happy Time's new advertising slogan carries an eco-friendly marketing message as well. "Stay home, go green and get off".

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