Written by Mark James
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Thursday, 9 April 2009

image for Manchester United make audacious new bid
Merkel tried to up the bid

Cash rich Manchester United has dipped its toe in a new transfer market causing their trade mark controversy in the process.

Following the weekend's photo's of United manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, leaving a Berlin restaurant with German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, The Spoof can exclusively reveal that Manchester United have tabled a £19 million bid for the ailing country.

Sources close to the deal say that the amount paid could rise to as much as £40 million depending on Germany's performance in the economic league tables and the number of appearances the country makes at the G20 meetings over the next five years.

German Government negotiators have accused the club of using 'underhand tactics' and 'tapping up the Chancellor with promises of a big car and country house' without going through the proper channels. A spokesman for the European Union said that senior figures within the European Parliament were furious as they had signed Germany as part of the Treaty of Rome and, therefore, they were contracted to play their part in the European Union team.

However, it remains to be seen whether the lure of a possible £40 million during a hard recession will prove too tempting for the EU. Commenting on the tapping up allegations, the EU spokesman said that they were considering asking the United Nations to look into the complaint. FIFA were unavailable for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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