Written by King David
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Topics: Burger King, perfume

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

image for Burger King's, "Flame" blamed for mountain lion attack
Burger King's men's body spray, "Flame" blamed for mountain lion attack

Burger King's new men's body spray, "Flame, the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat" is being blamed for a mountain lion attack which happened earlier this morning near Blowing Rock.

Hans Feltercrack and his wife were hiking The Tannawah trail near the Boone Fork section of Hwy 221 when a full grown mountain lion attacked Feltercrack.

"We were walking the trail when all of a sudden we heard a roar," Feltercrack said. "I looked up and saw this big mountain lion coming down on me."

Investigators say that the lion jumped from a boulder next to the trail. Feltercrack struggled with the lion before it gave up and ran back into the woods.

A spokesman for the US Park Service, Phil McCavity, said that "Mountain Lions don't attack people. They usually try to avoid human contact."

Another spokesperson for the US Park Service, Ben Dover, mirrored McCavity's words saying that attacks of this kind are very "infrequent and usually require some type of human provocation. Something usually has to go very wrong to have an attack like this happen."

Investigators on the scene are not quite sure of the cause of the attack, but say that Feltercrack was wearing Burger King's new men's body spray, "Flame" when the attack occurred.

Feltercrack was not injured from the incident. But authorities are considering having the body spray banned.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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