Written by Les Uirely
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Sunday, 26 October 2008

image for Recesssion Forces The Treasury To Prop Up Small Businesses

As recession looms, small businesses and their owners are relying on the Treasury for support. Having sold the foundations of their businesses, the Treasury has been forced to prop up an industry which is quite literally crumbling. Small business owner, Tariq Rashiid suggested that, "the Government needs to do more to stabilise the current decline in small businesses."

Another victim of the crisis, Tom Barnes, told us his story: "I was forced to sell the foundation wall of my adult cookery book store. This was not part of my business model!" Mr Barnes' business has since collapsed and many others - such as a Titanic memorabilia business which has failed to stay afloat - will follow.

The Treasury has approved plans to erect props and stabilisers to remedy the recent developments. Leader of an opposition, MP Dan Charittery, chastised the Prime Minister for his lack of foresight: "Gordon Brown should have acted when small business owners were forced to sell their supporting limbs. Where was Gordon Brown when they needed propping up?".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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