Written by P.M. Wortham
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Tuesday, 7 October 2008

image for Immodium to Merge with Jose Cuervo
The Traditional Hershey Squirt

Initiating a big movement on Wall Street, the Immodium pharmaceutical brand, will be merging with the Cuervo Company to produce a hybrid tequila product which also aids in preventing diarrhea.

A common leakage problem among irregular tequila drinkers, a typical drunken state would leave the bloated consumer running to the toilet without hope of preventing the pressured discharge.

Ana Leekidge, a chief bio-chemist for Immodium says, "Yes the Cuervo enthusiast would find himself tripping over loose stools in the barroom trying to get to the commode in time. Now with the Anti-Diarrheal compound added, the only running the consumer will be doing, is back up to the bar."

Based on a viscous sap that oozes out from the tight skin of the Blue Agave plant, tequila has historically been the catalyst for both explosive good times and the unfortunate Green Apple Quick Step. The introduction of the bung-hole binder should help alleviate future boxer blow outs and undershorts squirts for many Cuervo drinkers.

"Our goal is to leave Jose Cuervo customers shit faced and happy, instead of pant-loaded and pissed." Leekidge says.

The "Cuervodium" product hits store shelves with a new bottle design resembling a pair of brown trousers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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