Written by Gail Farrelly
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Sunday, 31 August 2008

image for Eyeglass Industry Booms As Sarah Palin Is Nominated for Vice-President
The Eyes Have It!

Thanks to John McCain, a Four-Eye is at the forefront of the American political scene.

"We're ecstatic," declared one executive of an eyeglass manufacturing firm. "Sarah Palin is showing the world you can be gorgeous and also wear eyeglasses. She'll make an excellent vice-president."

The election is still weeks away, but the eyeglass industry feels it's already won. An executive of an eyeglass retailer points out, "It's a win-win for us. If Sarah Palin loses, we can hire her as a paid spokesperson. If she wins, she's automatically our unpaid spokesperson. You know, just by being out there in public wearing glasses, she's speaking for us." The executive then added, "I always knew U. S. vice-presidents were good for something."

Meanwhile, contact lens manufacturers are in panic mode; many have switched their party affiliation. They've closed ranks and declared themselves to be with Obama and Biden all the way. A president of a contact lens company claimed he was unconcerned about sales figures and stock price. Yet he also commented, "Open your eyes, America. Do you really want a Four-Eye to be a heartbeat away from the most powerful position in the world?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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