Written by Jalapenoman
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Sunday, 13 July 2008

image for Badgers Hire Public Relations Team and Celebrity Spokespeople
"That's a nice looking badger you've got there!"

Animal rights activists representing the Badger have hired a public relations team to help improve the image of their beloved animal. The group, known as the Friends of Badgers (FOBs for short), wants to see the animal become more respected and have a better impression from the general populace.

The public relations firm of Lint, Klein, and Carter have been retained to provide this service. Company spokesman Rita Watson revealed in an interview that "we have really got our work cut out for us."

"To badger someone is to pester or annoy them. A badger is thought of as a mean spirited and ferocious creature. They are used as mascots for sports teams that want to appear rough and tenacious. We want to change that."

"Other animals of similar size give different impressions. A beaver is another name for a woman's vagina and conjures up positive images in the minds of men and lesbians. Monkey and clam do the same thing. Bunnies or rabbits are thought of as soft and furry and loveable and full of sexual energy."

"We want people to have those kinds of images when they think of badgers. To do this, we've decided to make badger another euphamism for a trimmed, partially shaved vagina (as badgers tend to take care of their grooming). We've hired Paris Hilton and Britney Spears as the new badger girls, as everyone has seen the neat way they trim themselves up."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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