Written by WOOD MONKEYS
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Topics: Hull City FC

Saturday, 7 June 2008

image for Hull City - The new Watford?
17th is VICTORY

The until recently little heard of Hull City football club, who are based on the English northern riveria at the join of Europe's two largest freshwater rivers. The Ull and the Umber have been described by some pundits as the lottery louts of the premiership. Others many of whom were just copying each other suggested they could be the new Bolton Wanderers. But financial experts from the satellite channel Battenberg think it more likely that Hull may use the Watford model

Watford were famously promoted to the EPL two seasons ago and with their large amount of new found wealth they spent no money at all on players and sold their best ones at premiership rates and were relegated. They received a large parachute payment for this which they spent on no players at all and sold some more. At the end of This campaign were unluckily beaten 6-1 on aggregate against Hull City in the pay off semi final but picked up a bit of extra TV money.

Battenberg are said to be less impressed by the Derby county model were the largest ever premiership squad was assembled with the largest ever wage bill and achieved hardly any points at all as they stumbled ever toward relegation to the second division. CEO Adam Pearson formerly commercial director of Leeds united "the new Accrington Stanley" is said to believe that parachute payments are a good thing and he can't wait to buy some more players and maybe a manager.

Battenberg global brands news staff claimed never to have heard of Bolton Wanderers and didn't think they would be able to expand their boundaries into West and south Lancashire with a picture of a pigs foot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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