Written by Steddyeddy
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Wednesday, 23 April 2008

image for EasyAir and RyanJet Gift Vouchers too much of a gift
RyanJet's new solar powered jet

Following hot on the heels of their appearances on the BBC's Watchdog, budget airlines EasyAir and RyanJet have both decided to re-align their gift voucher system and make them more customer-unfriendly.

According to passengers who complained to Watchdog, gift vouchers issued by both internet airlines are not redeemable on-line, and fares bought by voucher are usually sold at a higher price than the fare quoted on-line.

A spokesman for the two airlines, Rick Turpin explains:

"We were appalled to have found out about this situation when we received a phone call from that leggy woman on Watchdog. You know, great body. Possibly exciting breasts. Or was that Nicky Campbell? Anyway. The core idea behind our vouchers is that the customer should really have much more trouble to redeem them than Watchdog found, which means we can hang on to more customers' money and of course make more profit.

"We were frankly devastated that some customers had actually managed to redeem their vouchers, even after making long, complicated premium rate phone calls, which we felt were enough to put them off in the first place.

"It has taken months to make our on-line booking system as muddy as possible for customers. We wanted to ensure that when a customer clicks the button for a £9.99 fare to Benidorm, by the time they input their credit card details, the final bill including tax, baggage allowance, air charges, seat rental (in the airport and on plane), toilet paper, in-flight magazine, plasticated sandwich and nasty warm brown liquid, the real cost has risen to at least £79.99."

"I can only apologise that some customers are actually succeeding in redeeming their gift vouchers. This was not meant to happen.

"I assure you this won't happen again."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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