There was great excitement in Scotland yesterday, when money was discovered growing on a tree. Tree experts have said this is the first reported case of the phenomenon in Britain.
The tree, which has been called a 'Money Tree', has the look of a Bonsai, and reeks of evil. It was found in an orchard near Falkirk, and picked clean within minutes by residents of a nearby Council Estate.
One lucky local, unemployed Billy McBaxter, told me:
"Et wez brelliant! Ah got moor than £500, bat av bin t' the boozer an' blown et!"
Tree expert Donald McMcDonald says that the Scottish Ministry of Strange Phenomena has taken some bark samples, and hopes to cultivate the tree, so that more money can be raised to fight the uncontrollable drug problem in Scotland.
Alex Salmond, the First Minister of Scotland, told the Scottish Parliament that, although the tree was a Godsend, it wouldn't be the end of Scotland's drug woes.
"We'll need to find several thousand hectares of these trees to even make a dent."