WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- President George Bush and other Republican dignitaries unveiled a "Great Depression Survival Package" for American citizens on Friday to much fanfare.
Together with presidential candidate John McCain, the head of the FDIC Morton Minderbinder, Ben Bernanke, head of the Federal Reserve, and representatives of FEMA, Bush showed off the components of the package.
"When the Great Depression of 2008 hits later this year, just open your government-supplied "Great Depression package," said Bush "and you will be ready to weather any storm. With this kit you will be well prepared as your job is outsourced to China under my Free Trade policies, your home is foreclosed and your SUV is repoed."
The Great Depression Survival Package contains everything a penniless, homeless and out-of-work American family needs to cope with the ravages of economic depression just like in the 1930s.
"The package contains a high quality, made-in-China 55 gallon oil drum, perfect for burning newspapers to keep you, your family, and your neighbors warm even on the coldest nights," said McCain.
Minderbinder displayed another feature of the package: a spacious heavy duty cardboard refrigerator carton "which will prove to be high end shelter for you and your family even on the coldest nights. The deluxe carton will keep your family dry and close together like in pioneer times."
The Great Depression Survival Package also includes several pairs of workman's gloves with the fingers already cut off to enable the entire family to beg and scrounge for food.
"Finally, the kit includes a refurbished shopping cart, a jug of cheap sweet wine, and a list of all the local soup kitchens and restaurants with dumpsters in your area," said Bush to much applause.
--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire