Written by politicalpop
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Monday, 4 February 2008

image for Share Dip Means Comparison To Long-Running Party Is Finally Over
Is it time for the party comparison to stop?

The balloons may have popped, the champagne may have gone flat and the Porsche may have lost its sheen but an in-depth analysis of the recent financial ups-and-downs to hit global money markets has shown that the markets are just a little queasy, the party poppers are only damp and the Barry Manilow song that's playing is an oldie but a goldie.

With comparisons to a long-running party in the City finally coming to an end, is the game up for the City and financial institutions where the punch is looking more like pond water, the party hats have been trampled underfoot, the Barry Manilow song is clearing the room, and someone is being sick in the back garden?

With the City clearing up its streamers, putting away its posh frocks for better days, kicking off those strappy shoes, are there troubled times ahead? An in-depth assessment of the situation by City experts reveals that the time may have come to cut back on the bottle you take to the party. Maybe it would be wise to take a bottle of M+S Cava rather than the Moet et Chandon. Maybe it would be wise to take a taxi rather than arrive in the flashy Porsche. Maybe it's time to wrap up warm instead of letting it all hang out.

But there's always time for a fireworks comparison. With analysts saying it isn't over till the fat lady sings, is it now time to stand back and light the blue touchpaper, or find a safe metal tin for your fireworks, to store them for better times ahead?

With in-depth analysts coming up with ever more dreary facts and figures and baffling you with jargon about the technicalities of the inner workings of the City that aren't worth troubling your silly heads over, now is the time to put you money on safe bets instead of long shots on the hundred to one outsider.

Now is the time to think of the whole financial world as one big gaming table where some bets are much safer than others, and with the party poppers growing silent, the turntables slowing, the knees aching, the feet sore and blistered from all that dancing why not just keep going on and on and on. There's always online poker.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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