Computer giant Microsoft will purchase computer giant Yahoo for an estimated $44.6 billion dollars (about twice the amount of change Bill Gates keeps in his car's ashtray). The acquisition should be completed by the end of the year if approved by the S.E.C. (Securities and Exchanges Commission).
When asked why they were "buying out the competition," Microsoft spokesman Dave Douglas said that "Bill was kind of pissed. When you used the Yahoo search engine and looked up blue screen of death, you got a picture of him holding up the company logo and laughter was heard through the computer speakers. He just didn't want to put up with that anymore."
Microsoft announced that there would be only one minor change to Yahoo. "Instead of having free e-mail and free My Yahoo services, we will begin charging the reasonable fee of $89.95 per log in, which is actually cheaper than our Microsoft Help Line!"