Written by Ben Macnair
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Tuesday, 7 August 2007

image for Bill Gates issues apology for patronizing Paper Clip on Word
No, I don't need help writing a ransom letter!

Nerdy Multi-millionaire Bill Gates today issued a heart-felt and sincere apology on behalf of the paper-clip which is the bane of every office workers life.

The bespeckled rich man said: "I apologise from the very bottom of my heart for the paperclip, Links the Cat, the dog who no-one uses, the spinning world, and the knackered old Wizard. They all seemed like such a good idea at the time, but now I know just how wrong and misguided I was to use them all those years ago."

He went on to say: "I now also fully realise how irritating it is to have the bleeding obvious pointed out to you. When I thought people would be using my computer, I thought asking them if they needed help to write a letter was a good thing, but obviously I was wrong then as well. My next programme for Computers will be user friendly. I have listened to what people want, and my newest project is the EXO10 Computer. It may look like an old mobile phone, but it will do things no-one else has ever thought of before."

He said cackling, holding a monocle to his eye, and stroking a white cat.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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