Written by Warren Redlich
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Tuesday, 7 August 2007

image for New iMac Coming from Apple; Steve Jobs Inside
Fabric logo on the new iMac

A new iMac is rumored to be coming from Apple. Most of the gossip surrounding the product launch concerns screen size and pricing. Apple may eliminate the 17" screen and start at 20". Pricing on the 20" new iMac model should be reduced by as much as $300.

But the biggest development is on the software side. New iMacs have Apple's Mac OS X, which has gone from Tiger to Panther and now Leopard - arriving in October. Inside tips suggest that Apple's skunkworks is adding a feature to Leopard that will blow all previous operating systems out of the water.

Reminiscent of Microsoft Bob, the new OS will incorporate Steve Jobs inside. The engineers at Apple are working to incorporate Jobs DNA and various other measurable aspects of his being into a special chipset. This dynamic software will be represented onscreen by a smiley face with a black turtleneck. When users make a mistake, the smiley face will glide over to the mouse location and take corrective action. Combining predictive software from the iPhone's virtual keyboard with Jobs' sense of style, the user's true intent will be determined and the new iMac will react accordingly.

Early demos of the prototype software, currently dubbed Smilin' Steve, had Apple employees "weirded out." One said: "It was like having Steve Jobs in my head, dude!"

Consistent with Apple's general press strategy, the company had no comment on any of this.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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