Written by Felix Minderbinder
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Sunday, 13 May 2007

image for Tories Insist On Giving Canada's Last Energy to USA
Tories sell Canada out

OTTAWA (CP) - Conservative Members of Parliament have savagely tried to end parliamentary hearings on their stupid plan to give away Canada's remaining oil and natural gas to the USA, freely admitting that they are covering up the matter.

Testimony by University of Alberta professor Gordon Laxer revealed that Canadians will be left "to freeze in the dark" during cold, icy winters if the Harper government plows ahead with plans to "integrate" dwindling energy supplies across North America, ie feed them to the voracious USA energy pig.

Laxer was testifying for Alberta's Parkland Institute about the disastrous "Security and Prosperity Partnership" (SPP), a secret 2005 deal to make Canada and Mexico subservient lackeys of the USA and its predatory corporations.

The deal gives US energy security top priority and would commit Canada to sending the last of its energy supplies to the USA even though Canada itself has no national plan to protect its own people, testified Laxer.

"That testimony is not relevant since Prime Minister Stephen Harper's neoconservative government has been bought by US energy companies and is in their pocket," said Tory MP Leon Benoit, chair of the Commons Standing Committee on International Trade which was holding the hearings.

Benoit then ordered Laxer to shut-up, yet Opposition MPs then won a vote to overrule Benoit.

Benoit then threw down his briefcase and tore his hair out and screamed, "This meeting is adjourned. My government is so stupid, fascist and corrupt that we will not allow you to talk!"

Benoit and his other three Conservative members on the panel then ran out of the room like the traitorous Bush monkeys that they are to get drunk.

The remaining non-Tory members then finished the meeting with the Liberal vice-chair presiding, which revealed how the Conservatives were planning to divert Canada's rivers to the USA too, and increase pesticides in Canadian food to higher poisonous US levels.

"It is moronic, reckless, idiotic, irresponsible and corrupt for the Harper government not to protect Canada's energy supplies from US energy pigs," added Laxer.

Quebec and Atlantic Canada now import 90 per cent of their energy supplies, while Canada is sending over 70 per cent of its oil and 65 per cent of its natural gas to the USA, with only a few more years of supplies left. Canada is the only country in the world with no self-preserving nationalistic energy reserve plan in place.

"It's ridiculous the extent to which the Conservative Party will go to cover up information about how this deal plans to sell Canada to the USA cheaply," shouted NDP MP Peter Julian.

Then representatives of the government of Stephen Harper revealed their secret negotiations to sell Canada's children into slavery in the USA and to allow America's billionaires to build castles in each province to rule over Canada too. These American barons would have the pick of Canada's nubile young daughters for their harems.

"This Conservative government totally wants Canadians to be Yankee slaves," admitted one Harper bureaucrat. "We have been bribed and well paid to sell Canada out to the sleazebag America of that POS George W. Bush."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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