Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: Space

Wednesday, 7 February 2007

image for Adult Diaper Business Soars as Astronaut Use Revealed
Space travel leads to a heavenly idea for earth

The renegade astronaut who donned adult diapers to eliminate bathroom stops on a cross-country jaunt has unwittingly ignited interest in an industry that many consider kind of "icky."

This news story has been accompanied by extensive reports revealing that it's standard practice for astronauts to wear diapers during the takeoff and landing periods of space flights. "If they can do it in their pants, so can I," seems to be the slogan of numerous Americans who are intrigued and quite eager to sign on to the practice.

Needless to say, the diaper industry is ecstatic. One exec has been quoted as saying, "Since the death of June Allyson, we haven't really gotten our hands on a new adult diaper campaign. Now it's been dumped right in our laps." He went on to point out that the growth opportunities are endless, and he couldn't resist the sales pitch that adult diapers hit the spot not only for car trips -- but also for other 'events' such as stakeouts, airplane trips (why bother waiting on long lines for the restroom?), and the New York City and Boston Marathons.

In a related development, roadside rest stops in the U. S. have become deserted as motorists are switching to the practice of wearing diapers. Most of these roadside facilities will probably be converted to factories for the manufacture of diapers in an attempt by the industry to keep up with the increased demand.

BREAKING NEWS: Former Vice-president Al Gore has issued a statement condemning the increased use of adult diapers, pointing out that this practice will mean overflowing landfills and more environmental problems. He's confided to friends his plans to move to the UK as soon as possible. "The Brits don't know how to cook," he's been quoted as saying, "but at least they know where to do their business."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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