Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 7 February 2007

image for Celebrity Big Brother Jade/Shilpa Stockmarket Stock Shock
It's good for what ails you

Miss World Shilpa Shetty, the 'Indian' at the centre of the Celebrity Big Brother racism scandal, may have unwittingly been the cause of the massive Stockmarket gains for food company Oxo.

The argument between eventual winner Shilpa, and lifetime 'loser' Goody, was over chicken stock cubes, and analysts say that, support for Miss Shetty may have sparked interest in Oxo, the result being that shares, like Donny Tourette, went through the roof.

One month ago, Oxo shares were worth 3p, but when the Market closed yesterday, they had risen to £15.68, much to the delight of Miss Shetty, who cunningly bought a major shareholding in the company less than three months ago.

So much for good luck. Goody's luck has been all bad lately. Her range of perfumes are travelling in the opposite direction to chicken stock.

Her most popular brand, Whiff, was removed from shelves after the racism accusations, whilst the budget Chavsmell has plummeted in value. It is now worth less than the value of Jade's back garden rose petals from whence the repugnant aroma is derived.

Large quantities are been sold at car boot sales across England at 10p per gallon.

Poundland boss, Donald Quid, said "It's difficult to shift crap."

It's a big blow for Goody, who recently had to suspend the launch of her new swimwear brand, Bulbous, due to a lack of interest, even in the Chavsector.

As they say, all publicity is good publicity.

Except bad publicity.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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