Written by Gail Farrelly
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Thursday, 11 January 2007

image for Shiloh Jolie-Pitt Sells Used "Red Carpet" Gum on eBay
"It's a good thing" from Martha Stewart

It all started when 8-month-old Shiloh was eating her breakfast and heard on the radio that her mom, Angelina Jolie, had referred to her as a "blob."

Yakking in babytalk, Shiloh threw her cheerios to the floor and sing-songed, "Takes one to know one." When she got control of herself, she told her nanny that they had to make a business plan to show Angelina just how much of a 'non-blob' her natural-born daughter is. That's when they came up with the idea for Red Carpet Gum, Inc.

They've hired people to collect used chewing gum thrown away by celebrities on the Red Carpet at award shows. Then they give the gum "just a slight scrub" (not enough to remove valuable DNA), iron it flat to freshen it up, then sell it on eBay. Each stick comes with a certificate of authenticity as well as a nice little favor especially designed to represent the celebrity. The gum shown in the illustration is from domestic diva Martha Stewart. Rosie O'Donnell's gum will come, not with a fork, but with a mini pair of boxing gloves; and Donald Trump's, with a comb.

In the evenings, Shiloh and her nanny have been watching over and over again a DVD of the 1958 sci-fi classic, "The Blob." They especially enjoy chiming in with its theme song, "Beware of the Blob." Let's all hope Angelina Jolie is listening!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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