Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: Oprah Winfrey

Friday, 27 October 2006

image for Oprah to Market Jump-Friendly Furniture Line
Oprah Ready for a Jump

Following a sensational media appearance by Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey developed an idea when she began spontaneously jumping for joy on her couch; after this she noticed that her couch just didn't bounce back the way it should have.

She has become aware that she may soon require larger platforms for jumping. Reportedly she's told friends, "After all, on his next visit Tom may bring Katie and Suri along, and they may feel the need for a communal jump. Then there's Julia Roberts with her twins; and, well, the list goes on and on."

For some time, Oprah has been eager to diversify her business beyond the entertainment industry. Now's her chance. The couches in her line can withstand bouncing bodies up to a weight of two thousand pounds.

The new line also includes huge jump-friendly chairs. Oprah has ordered one of these for herself. Supposedly she's really a very private person and needs her own individual springboard for jumping. One friend commented that she could well imagine that Oprah would agree with Thoreau's words in Walden, "I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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