Written by Smart Blonde Bimbo
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Sunday, 22 December 2013

Inflation--the phenomenon that economists explain is the inexorable rise in prices that outpace our ability to purchase, doesn't seem to be a concern for central banks in general. Word on the street is that the official inflation doesn't match what is coming out of the average Joe Q Public's wallet, according to a watchdog group who monitors what the central banks are reporting.

Sources say they are not concerned because instead of tallying everything that is bought or sold over the economic commerce-scape as a whole, they only tally a basket of goods. Using that basket of goods, and only that basket of goods, they come up with some sort of number. At best it's just a guess, since they don't see all that is bought or sold. At worst, it's a gimmick to consistently underpay every recipient of their "largesse" as they have done over the last thirty years.

And according to the economics department at University of Louisville, it is also measured as a percentage change, and is not reflective of an absolute value--all of it is relative. And a good portion of things we pay for--fees, rates, taxes, inputs and partial goods aren't counted at all--only finished and final goods.

So, services for a prostitute naturally aren't going to be counted. What a blowjob used to fetch doesn't fetch nearly as much today--at least in the form of purchasing power. Neither does a snow-job. And tips in the service industry are now being recommended at twenty percent of the bill, not fifteen percent. Perhaps since central banks control how all of the money behaves, it's of no consequence what they pay for services these days.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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