Written by IainB
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Monday, 21 October 2013

image for Sparks and Mensa launch their Klein Luggage
Careful packing is a thing of the past!

Sparks and Mensa, the department store for those with an above average IQ, launched their latest luggage range, but it has already come under fire.

The so called 'Klein Range' uses the principles laid down by German mathematician Felix Klein to describe a three dimensional structure with an infinite interior.

"The luggage is incredible," said Calvin Cloggs, the product designer. "It can store everything you own, have owned or will own, and still only be three square centimetres in size."

Although it can store an infinite amount of belongings, customer complaints have indicated that retrieving items from within a Klein bottle involve fifteen Sherpas, three hundred metres of rope and a week long expedition into the interior. As all the Sherpas and as much rope as needed can be placed inside the luggage, Sparks and Mensa do not see this as a particular problem.

"It's not a problem," said Cloggs. "Quite the opposite in our opinion, as it provides employment for Sherpas in these difficult economic times."

More problematic are the airlines. All budget airlines and most major airlines, are attempting to ban the Klein luggage.

"They claim," said Clegg, "that although the luggage easily fits inside the dimensions of even the most stringent budget airline, apparently the luggage can weigh several tonnes, depending on how much the traveller is taking with them. It is this the airlines are complaining about."

Professor Brian Cox has also lodged concerns about the Klein luggage, claiming it could spell the end of reality as we know it.

"All it will take," said Cox, laconically, "is for somebody to put a Klein suitcase inside a Klein holdall and then insert that holdall inside the suitcase. If that happens, reality itself will unravel. And it's theoretically possible. I urge people to avoid these bags for the sake of existence!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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