Written by IainB
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Sunday, 7 July 2013

image for Sparks and Mensa launch Eye Shadow for men
And a bit of eyebrow trimming wouldn't go amiss too!

Sparks and Mensa the high street shop for the supernova of the intelligentsia have announced a new eye make up range aimed exclusively at men.

"The eye liner range we launched last year did remarkably well," said manager of the Dorking store, Justin Lumberpond. "We sold both of the pencils we brought in."

With all of the stock selling within a year of going on sale, eye shadow is hopefully the next big thing.

"We've got Ricky "the Hitman" Hatton to front the advertising campaign," said Lumberpond. "He's every man's macho alpha male, and if he wears the make up, we're sure that it will give it that hard image that will convince the average bloke down the pub that a bit of colour on the lid of the eye is a good look. Ricky has said he'll start his next fight looking like he's just finished one!"

The eye shadow will initially come in "Bruise Purple" and "Black Eye" for recreating the look of having done ten rounds with Evander Holyfield.

"Once guys get used to the idea, we can launch the eye lifting range," said Lumberpond. "Get those eyes sparkling."

Independent research has shown that eye make up, even if advertised by a boxer, is unlikely to go down well with blokes down the pub.

"What would go down well," said independent researcher, Ian De Pendant, "is make up that covers up a black eye. That stops awkward questions from the missus, such as 'Why are you using my concealer? And my pink eyeshadow!'"

Justin Lumberpond says that they will also launch such a range in the near future.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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