WASHINGTON (AP)--With the frightening November mid term elections looming just weeks away, panicked senior Republicans are looting the government and fleeing Washington, DC and even the USA.
A certain Republican loss of both the House of Representatives and the Senate will allow Democrats to commence impeachment proceedings against George W. Bush, as well as other senior White House Republicans and members of Congress. Investigations into massive corruption, fraud and bribery, treason, grand larceny and involvement in 911 by the Bush Administration are widely expected, with Democrats already drawing up plans.
George W. Bush was seen at midnight on Saturday loading up his family yacht at a marina on the Potomac River with the remaining US gold bullion supply from Fort Knox and was said to be making plans to sail away to the offshore banking citadelle in the Cayman Islands.
Dick Cheney was similarly seen looting the US Treasury of newly printed Treasury Bonds, piling them into his armoured SUV and then filing a flight plan in his personal jet for Tel Aviv.
John McCain had commandeered a large moving van and was loading it up with priceless works of art from the White House and Washington art museums just before driving down to Mexico.
Karl Rove had already departed to set himself up in Monaco as a high rolling gambler using federal tax dollars that he had converted into poker chips.
Donald Rumsfeld has been established in a spa in Switzerland with billions of looted dollars from the Pentagon war budget to treat his current illness, and he is taking the waters as a gentile, "very confused man" with his Alzheimer's disease.
Even former Democrat Sam Lieberman has absconded with a big chunk of the New York State budget and was sailing off to the east where he had plans to establish a Rabbinical and Gamblers School.
These Republicans had hoped for an "October surprise" to maintain their autocracy, with a new war to cover their excesses in the US government. Yet prospects for such a new betrayal of the American people are fading as support from the hostile Pentagon fades.
The basic Republican plan to loot America then flee was created several years ago by Bush, Cheney, with Rove as the mastermind, assisted with the resources of the new head of the CIA, but it has now been accelerated to get the hell out before the November mid term elections.
"So long suckers," shouted George Bush as he set sail in his heavily burdened yacht towards the Atlantic
Ocean. "You citizen-idiots actually believed all that terrorist crap I had the most fun staging 911 that I ever had!"