Written by IainB
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Sunday, 26 August 2012

image for Sparks and Mensa launch the disposable bath towel
The future for ordinary towels is for changing under on the beach, so nobody sees your privates

The High Street Intelligentsia Department Store with more stores in Oxford and Cambridge than it's similarly abbreviated rival, has innovated yet again with the world's first disposable bath towel.

"You can either buy a single roll, or family pack of four or a trade pack of twelve," said Mark Spencer, head of research and design at Sparks and Mensa. "We expect the latter pack to be popular with hotels."

Inspired by the strap line of a rival product that can do a lot with just one sheet, the new towels are super absorbent and come on a roll.

"There are a couple of different designs currently," said Spencer. "Plain white, white with blue elephants on it and olive green. There is the standard towel and the VIP extra plush."

As well as selling the towels, they also sell the towel rail, which is like a standard kitchen towel rail, but a metre and a half wide instead.

"They're very easy to use," said Spencer. "You pull it down and rip along the perforations, then dry yourself. The great thing about these towels is that they are disposable. Once you're dry, you simple dispose of them."

Initially, there was a great deal of environmental concern, until it was pointed out that the towels are made from recycled paper, and can be recycled again. With hotels responsible for over ninety percent of the world's detergent use, disposable towels will have a massive impact on the environment, reducing the amount of detergent used.

"The one thing that we will say," said Spencer, "is that these towels are definitely not flushable."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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