Written by Ellie James
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 15 March 2012

image for Extrovert Condom a Must Have at Austin's South by Southwest Conference
The hipster in the shades in known to have a pocketful of extrovert condoms.

The accidental maker of the Extrovert Pants, popular in London, has developed the Extrovert Condom in time for it to hit the streets in Austin this week for the South by Southwest Interactive Conference.

While The Spoof's booth was not in a premier spot, we were near one of the best food carts around so we did see a lot of action. This is where Spoof reporter Clive Danton got approached by Walter Simpkins. We were in line at Me So Hungry, an Asian fusion cart because Danton thought it would be funny to tweet that he was at the Me So Horny cart and give the location.

It was ten minutes after the tweet that my esteemed colleague Clive Danton was hit on by the creator of The Extrovert Pants and Extrovert Condoms. It would normally have been me that would have been hit on, but as Mr. Danton was easily fooled into thinking it was Transvestite Night, he caught the eye of Mr. Simpkins because quite strangely Clive Danton is a very attractive woman when he wants to be. It was very easy to see how the extremely extroverted Walter Simpkins could proposition Mr. Danton.

What happened next could only be described an utter chaos as The Spoof's fastest reporter ran back towards his hotel after shoving his Asian fusion taco into this mouth and then knocking down several booths set up by vendors promoting things ranging from free pet vaccinations and glow in the dark beef jerky, leaving me to pay for his tacos and using The Spoof's business credit card to pay for the damages to the vendor's cart.

Sadly, Mr. Simpkins suffered from a broken leg as he was pushed into the street and was hit by a pedicab full of drunken University of Texas seniors as well as drunken app developers from California. Ironically, one of the apps that were being promoted was developed to tell if your date was really a man.

In all the confusion, all the Extrovert Condoms were scattered across 6th Street but everyone was too drunk to notice so I was able to get all of them and subsequently sell all but a few for $25.00 to the drunk students.

I've kept the rest in order to test the effectiveness and see if just carrying them around my purse will make me more extroverted.

Make Ellie James's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 5?

3 10 21 16

Go to top ^