Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Topics: Economy

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

image for British economy grows by 0.00001%
Britain to be painted with the flag to boost the paint industry and to help people find the UK in aerial photographs

In a rare piece of good news on the economy, it was revealed that the UK's GDP increased by a total of £20 this month. The £20 was introduced into the economy by Mr Basil Pennypincher when he bought an old-fashioned football rattle, cash in hand.

PM David Cameron was upbeat about the news, saying that it vindicated his government's policy decisions. "This proves that Britain is still earning, still spending, and still making things. It's also pleasing that the employment rate has only dipped slightly to 91.5%."

The UK economy has changed a lot over the last fifty years. Previously it was known for its manufacturing, mining, and a range of industries. These days the leading sectors are: hairdressing and nail care, loan sharks, second hand Lottery tickets, riot policing, and the ever-healthy bar and pub industry.

Britain still exports a large amount of goods around the world. The largest exports in 2011 are television show formats, Royal Wedding memorabilia, money (in the form of UK debt), Marmite and postcards.

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