Written by mikewadestr
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Monday, 28 November 2011

image for Santa Claus and North Pole get Foreclosed On
The ladies always love a guy with something shiny over his tongue.

In news that will destroy the spirit of Christmas, it has been announced that world's biggest bank Lechers' R Us has just foreclosed on Santa Claus's North Pole Kiddies' R U Enterprise.

Apparently, the world's recession has affected even Santa Claus who has not been able to cover payments on mortgages that were taken out during the booming years before 2008. Maybe if Santa would have been more scrupulous with his windfall instead of piddling it away on Oreo Cookies, SUV's, Lady Gaga concerts, liposuction surgery and about 2000 time shares at various exotic locations around the world he would not be in his current financial situation.

Maybe Santa should have actually read some of those time share contracts seeing that the middle of the Sahara Desert is hardly and exotic location.

Well, except for maybe camels.

It seems that Santa' problems have been going on for at least the last year and a half as Santa has been cutting corners in order to save money. Last Christmas, so many kids were disappointed by the gifts Santa brought them. Kids received Jack in the Boxes that not only had a broken Jack and a broken box, but Jack wasn't even in the box!

Xbox's were just that, boxes with X's on them. I-pads were nothing more than lily pads with frogs on them who, when wound up, said "Aye", which may explain why Santa fired his head elf and hired US Presidential Hopster candidate Freddy the Frog.

His reindeer were all sold to the slaughter house except for Rudolph who now works in Amsterdam's red light district shining his red nose over Madame Red's House of Fun. It appears that everyone is having fun except for poor Rudolph who was forced by Amsterdam's animal control laws to get neutered.

His elves are another story due to the fact that their short stature and big ears have gotten them all supporting roles in the next Hobbit movie in which they support Shaquille O'Neal who plays Frodo Baggins.

Although, for Santa Claus Walmart has offered him a job as a Greeter, which was graciously allowed by Lechers' R Us CEO The Grinch.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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