Written by Perks
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Topics: Economy, Greece, euro

Friday, 11 November 2011

In a surprise move by banks across Europe, bailiffs have started the process of evicting the Greeks from their country.

'The small print on the secured loans was very clear' Bob Holbourn, head bailiff told us. 'It clearly states that 'your country is at risk if you do not keep up repayments'. They have paid the monthly payments late for the last 3 months, and this month the direct debit was rejected, so we have no choice but to take the country into the banks possession'

At a G20 meeting, heads of state attending the G20 meeting gave their reaction to the latest development in the Eurozone crisis. President Sarkozy told reporters, 'I have spoken with the banks concerned. They tell me they sent reminders and final demands but it seems Greece ignored them, hoping they would go away. They even sent one of the letters back with 'no longer at this address' written on the front'. British Prime Minister, David Cameron, was quick to distance himself from Greece's predicament. 'I don't know much about it as they won't let me into the meeting room, however I can be sure that Greece's problems have been caused by 13 years of a Labour Government. It was all Gordon Brown's fault .'

Sadly, it appears that the support given to the Dale Farm evictees has not been shown to the residents of Greece. 'We have even erected scaffolding towers around the main ports' one resident told us. 'Everything is in place for a final stand, but no one has come.' It is understood that those who helped at Dale Farm are currently on a camping holiday in East London.

It seems that some people have already given up and have started preparing for the upcoming eviction. 'There is no point fighting ' Stelios Contonopolis told us, as he packed Mount Athos in cardboard boxes. 'We did speak to Martin Lewis, but even he said there was no way out, but he did get me a good late deal on tickets to Spain'

The headache for the international community is what to do with all of the displaced Greeks. 'It is always difficult when we have this many people without a land to call home', said a statement from the UN, 'but we reckon we have found some space they can 'make their own' around Jerusalem'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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