Written by armfeetandtoe
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Monday, 7 November 2011

image for St Paul's Cathedral to become Head Office of G.A.Y. Uk
Lolipope refuses to leave the steps of St Pauls

The Archbishop of London, David Belts, has denied reports that G.A.Y UK are setting up their national office in the cathedral.

When asked about the lease that was posted on the notice board.

He said: "There are enough people camping it up round here, without them lot putting up their tents. I have not agreed to anything ducky".

Leader of G.A.Y UK, Ethan Lolipope, arrived at about 2pm and began banging on the locked doors of St Paul's, he pounded for ten minutes before giving up and sitting on the steps, head in hand.

When I asked him why there was no answer, he replied:

"Me and the madam had words last night, now she wont let me in. She thinks I have blabbed to the press about the new lease, it was not me, it was that fag hag, from the Bishops Palace in Fulham. Cow"

At about 4pm, the doors of St Paul's opened and David Belts emerged.

"You can call me all the names you like love! you and your tents are not welcome, so you can sling your hook! And another thing, its the last time I buy you a drink at Bar Coco! Cow!"

Mr Lolipope leapt to his feet, hands on hips and answered Belts.

"How very dare you! If we want to be campers, we bloody well will! and you did say we could camp it up here, you signed the lease! No wonder David left you, he said you were as hard as nail polish!"

With that, Belts went back inside and slammed the doors shut.

By the following morning, the council had filed for a motion in the high court to have G.A.Y UK removed from the Cathedral.

Mr Duddy, council bailiff, said: "We ave bin givin' twenty four hours to remove these people from the premises. At the moment, things is quiet, the campers ave bin givin' us tea, cakes and a bit of advice abart personal hygiene and colour coordination".

Lets hope there is a peaceful resolution to this crisis.

Reporter: Armfeetandtoe

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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