Written by Inchcock
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Wednesday, 19 October 2011

image for Great Britain PLC on a new high - unofficially leaked information!
MPs spending on subsidised Drinks - at a record high

"The UK is on so many highs at the moment, so we should not be putting down these record breaking efforts created by the Coalition Government".

The claim comes from the Chancellor of the Exchequer's second secretary's assistant filing clerk's part-time data input deputy, Mr Xavier Self - an Etonite, and hotel bedroom assistant to a certain Minister, whose name we cannot legally mention, so we must remain vague about it.

We have not included the high rise in calumny within Parliament, as a safeguard against any law suits being issued against us by any of the empleomania ridden MPs.

We analysed the figures given, to validate the claims, and they all proved accurate. (Using the term 'accurate' as used in Government circles)

The records claimed are:

Unemployment - nearing an all time record high

Inflation - nearing a four year high

Distrust of Politicians - at a record high

Expense allowances for MPs - at a record high

Millionaire MPs in Parliament - at a record high

Poverty - nearing a ten year high

Suicides - on a twelve year high (not counting Nick Clegg's political suicide in joining Tories in the Coalition)

Apanthropinisation - (withdrawal from human concerns) - at highest level ever in Parliament

VAT rates - at a record high

Bank financial rescues - at a record high

Small Business liquidations - at a record high

Large Business liquidations - at a record high

MPs spending on subsidised Drinks - at a record high

NHS cutbacks - at a record high

Military cutbacks - at a record high

Police cutbacks - at a record high

Business Innovation and Skills cutbacks - at a record high

Politicians Nepotism - increased ten fold to a record high

Politicians caught lying - at a record high

We think it is high time, the high and mighty, diminished there chrematomania.

Make Inchcock's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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