There have been 254 spoof news stories published in July 2014. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story:  British PM to freeze the nuts off Roman Abramovich's assets as anti-Putin sanctions start to bite

British PM to freeze the nuts off Roman Abramovich's assets as anti-Putin sanctions start to bite

London - An anti-Putin groundswell is threatening to explode into the murky world of oligarch assets like Roman Abramovich's London gold vaults. On Monday British Prime Minister David Cameron will sign an order for Diplomatic Protection Racket cop...
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Funny story:  Jürgen Klinsmann  Refused Re-entry Into United States

Jürgen Klinsmann Refused Re-entry Into United States

US Soccer coach, German born Jürgen Klinsmann has been denied entry back into the United States after immigration officers held him for 8 hours for questioning before deporting him back to Germany. Klinsmann, 49, who was born in Göppingen, West Ge...
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Funny story:  World Cup souvenir lets fans control time

World Cup souvenir lets fans control time

Zürich, Switzerland - Busy soccer fans can now extend their hectic days with a new World Cup innovation from FIFA. Called My Time™, the futbol souvenir puts the power of soccer scheduling into the hands of ordinary spectators. Delivered wit...
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Funny story:  Leeds Players Refuse To Move To Leeds

Leeds Players Refuse To Move To Leeds

The entire Leeds United Squad has been transfer listed after they collectively refused to follow new owner Massimo Cellino's request of moving to Leeds. The plan was for the players to become a close-knit squad, capable of obtaining an ever elusiv...
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Funny story:  Grief, Sadness and Then Anger At Tragic Loss of Live Overwhelms Social Media

Grief, Sadness and Then Anger At Tragic Loss of Live Overwhelms Social Media

Social media was a buzz with outpourings of immense grief, a sense of universal loss and then feelings of anger; after it was announced actor James Garner, whose whimsical style in the 1950s TV Western "Maverick" led to a stellar career in TV and fil...
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Funny story:  USA Fury As Prince Harry of England Scores In Extra Time

USA Fury As Prince Harry of England Scores In Extra Time

American soccer fans are furious after being knocked out of the World Cup thanks to a goal from third in line to the British throne, Prince Harry. Despite the scoreboard showing the goal, scored in the seventh minute of extra time, being credited...
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Funny story:  US Border Patrol Invokes Nancy Reagan's Anti-Drug Mantra "Just Say No" To Solve Child Immigrant Problem.

US Border Patrol Invokes Nancy Reagan's Anti-Drug Mantra "Just Say No" To Solve Child Immigrant Problem.

The head of the U.S. Border Patrol, James Bratcatcher, highly stressed from dealing with the sudden influx of children and young mothers with children from Latin America, has claimed that a solution to the international problem came to him in a dream...
View 'US Border Patrol Invokes Nancy Reagan's Anti-Drug Mantra "Just Say No" To Solve Child Immigrant Problem.'
Funny story:  Former NY Mayor Bloomberg, Michelle Obama Fight Release of Upcoming Movie, 'The Splurge'

Former NY Mayor Bloomberg, Michelle Obama Fight Release of Upcoming Movie, 'The Splurge'

New York City - Warner Bros. studio has announced plans to make a new movie called 'The Splurge' after the success of 'The Purge' films. But not everyone is happy about the idea. 'The Splurge' is about a 12-hour period one night each year when...
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Funny story:  Game Of Thrones Producer Determined To Feature Every British Actor With A Pulse Sooner Or Later

Game Of Thrones Producer Determined To Feature Every British Actor With A Pulse Sooner Or Later

Game of Thrones producers have announced that they are close to accomplishing what no other TV show has done before; cast, in some form or another - every actor born in the UK. Already having featured every British thespian born in Scotland, North...
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Funny story:  Obama the worst president since World War III

Obama the worst president since World War III

Washington - A poll commissioned ahead of Independence Day has voted Barack Obama as America's worst ever president since George W Bush started the Arab World War III. Second worst was Dubya himself followed closely by George Bush Senior, Preside...
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Funny story:  Massive Mexican red rump tarantula on the run in NYC: reported sighting at Kerry Kennedy condo

Massive Mexican red rump tarantula on the run in NYC: reported sighting at Kerry Kennedy condo

New York - A mean-looking pregnant giant Mexican red rump tarantula, Brachypelma vagans, on the loose in Park Slope, NYC, has been reported scurrying close to the human frights lawyer's home. This morning CCTV cameras picked up strange arachnid m...
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Funny story:  Obama Dumps Two Bus Loads of Illegal Kids on Palin's Driveway

Obama Dumps Two Bus Loads of Illegal Kids on Palin's Driveway

It was anything but a normal morning at Todd and Sarah Palin's Wasilla Alaska home. "I thought it was the garbage truck" said a befuddled Todd Palin "Then we heard all of these people outside, I thought it was just some fans, but then I looked out t...
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Funny story:  Muslim Brotherhood Makes Strongest Threats to Western Nations Yet

Muslim Brotherhood Makes Strongest Threats to Western Nations Yet

Egypt - Leaders of the Muslim Brotherhood and members of ISIS have made their strongest and most hard-hitting threats so far toward the United States in their bid to thwart US intervention into affairs in the Middle East. The Brotherhood has h...
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Funny story:  GM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle

GM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle

Detroit - Rabbits' feet have proven to be unlucky for what used to be the world's largest car maker. The key chain charms have been fingered by General Motors engineers as the cause for sudden ignition shutdown that could affect millions of vehicles.
View 'GM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle'
Funny story:  Michael Douglas cancer advice rejected by JP Morgan boss

Michael Douglas cancer advice rejected by JP Morgan boss

New York - The Oscar-winning producer of One Blue Over The Cuckoo's Nest famously blamed his now-cured throat cancer on a bout of dodgy oral sex in a 'tasteless' quip that wife Catherine Zeta Jones said had left her feeling uncomfortable and down in...
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Funny story:  Angry Liberals Vow to Open New Chain of Stores Called 'Snobby Lobby'

Angry Liberals Vow to Open New Chain of Stores Called 'Snobby Lobby'

Boston - Liberals are seething over the Supreme Court decision which allows Hobby Lobby to not have to offer certain birth control products which they believe induce abortions and which violate their religious beliefs. Hateful people took to t...
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Funny story:  Dollar Counterfeiter Jailed for Life

Dollar Counterfeiter Jailed for Life

Gotfried Right was today jailed for life at a ground-breaking trial in the Superior Court of San Francisco. Gotfried, a professor of graphic design at the Academy of Art had set up a printing press in his garage and proceeded to print what the prosec...
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Funny story:  Michelle Obama Vows to Defend Her School Lunch Program "Til the Bitter End"

Michelle Obama Vows to Defend Her School Lunch Program "Til the Bitter End"

Minneapolis - While it's not exactly a "Remember the Alamo!" battle cry, First Lady Michelle Obama is screeching that she will defend her signature school lunch program 'til the bitter end.' Ironically, this is how a majority of Americans view...
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Funny story:  67% of all happy Facebook updates posted by people with miserable lives, study

67% of all happy Facebook updates posted by people with miserable lives, study

HARFOLD, Vt. - A study released this week by Harfold State College indicates that at least two out of every three happy Facebook status updates are posted by pathetic sons-of-bitches with miserable lives. Junior Bertrand Russell produced his Faceb...
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Funny story:  Pres. Obama Goes Strong to Hoop on Border Security, Issues New # Campaign

Pres. Obama Goes Strong to Hoop on Border Security, Issues New # Campaign

Texas - In a move to signal to the nation how serious he is on solving the border crisis in Texas, President Obama launched a new Twitter campaign aimed at forcing the hordes of illegal immigrants trying to come into our country to instantly lose...
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Funny story:  Rock hits Netanyahu limo he calls in air strikes and tanks

Rock hits Netanyahu limo he calls in air strikes and tanks

The office of Prime Minister Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu has explained obliteration of four twelve year old Palestinian boys yesterday was due to a likely connection to Hamas rockets buried nearby. According to witnesses the boys were playing near t...
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Funny story:  For First Time, Hard Drive Crashes Surpasses Car Crashes in Washington DC

For First Time, Hard Drive Crashes Surpasses Car Crashes in Washington DC

Washington D.C. - An epidemic of hard drive crashes is sweeping this city and, for the first time in history, the number has exceeded the total number of car crashes that have occurred within the city limits since 2011. It is truly uncanny how man...
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Funny story:  Nebraska First State to Prohibit Texting While in an Accident

Nebraska First State to Prohibit Texting While in an Accident

The state of Nebraska has passed strict regulations prohibiting texting while in a car accident. They have added the clause describing any such accident as "fatal or not," adding what they consider to be "real strength" to the law. A spokespers...
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Funny story:  New Study Shows Blood of Newborn Babies Is Harmful to Health and the Environment

New Study Shows Blood of Newborn Babies Is Harmful to Health and the Environment

Breaking research from the public interest group Consumers Committee for Responsible Consumption (CCRC) shows that the blood of newborn babies, long-touted for its high iron content and other supposed health benefits, is actually detrimental not only...
View 'New Study Shows Blood of Newborn Babies Is Harmful to Health and the Environment'
Funny story:  Supreme court decision money speaks with first amendment rights and personhood affects whistleblowers

Supreme court decision money speaks with first amendment rights and personhood affects whistleblowers

Today's Supreme Court decision, that money (as with "money speaks") is entitled to first amendment protection and the rights of personhood, has again been hailed with the word "freeeedomm!" on conservative twitter sites. This new "money speaks" de...
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Funny story:  Obama Finally Approves Keystone Pipeline - To Funnel Illegals to Canada!

Obama Finally Approves Keystone Pipeline - To Funnel Illegals to Canada!

Washington D.C. - President Obama thinks he hit a home run today with his solution to the ever-looming Keystone Pipeline project that has been haunting him for several years now. The president has decided to have the pipeline constructed and use i...
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Funny story:  Susan Rice Sent to Russia to Assist Putin in Cover-Up of Malaysian Airline Disaster

Susan Rice Sent to Russia to Assist Putin in Cover-Up of Malaysian Airline Disaster

Washington D.C. - Ambassador to the United Nations, Susan Rice, has been dispatched to Russia by President Obama to assist President Putin in his cover-up attempt to hide the damage his soldiers did when they murdered nearly 300 innocent people a...
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Funny story:  Detroit Tigers Infielder Suffers "Cash" Injury

Detroit Tigers Infielder Suffers "Cash" Injury

Wilfred "Willie" Makett, star shortstop and fan favorite of the Detroit Tigers broke his right leg last night in a freak accident at his home during the All-Star break and will be sidelined for the balance of the season. He told hospital personnel th...
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Funny story:  Caliph of new Islamic State of Humbuggia opens US embassy, sends Tony Blair as peace envoy

Caliph of new Islamic State of Humbuggia opens US embassy, sends Tony Blair as peace envoy

Washington DC - Located in a damp and ugly 200 sq ft teardown behind Bladensburg Metrobus garage at 2251 26th Street NE the new legation's HQ aint's exactly swish by international diplomatic standards. But hey, it's about to get a fab five hundre...
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Funny story:  A Golden Treasury of Kennedy Family Mattress Stains Published

A Golden Treasury of Kennedy Family Mattress Stains Published

New York - Decades of off piste shagging have brought Robert F Kennedy Jr to his carpet-burnt knees. Cited as a co-respondent in a former squeeze's divorce case RFK's cell phone directory of cheap and tacky hos was being touted as exhibit one in N...
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Funny story:  Drunken Germans Celebrate World Cup Win By Invading Poland

Drunken Germans Celebrate World Cup Win By Invading Poland

HOFBRAUHAUS, MUNICH -- Germany continued its World Cup championship celebration Monday, as its highly intoxicated and blindly aggressive government ordered troops to invade Poland. "After a few dozen steins of Augustiner Maximator, we got a little...
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Funny story:  JK Rowling Plans Crime Spree

JK Rowling Plans Crime Spree

JK Rowling, whose crime novels written under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith will eventually outnumber her Harry Potter books, has announced that she is planning a crime spree. Our informant "Mick", who generally hangs out at the bus station rubb...
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Funny story:  Anti Abortion Activists Express Outrage Over Aborted Landing At Barcelona Airport

Anti Abortion Activists Express Outrage Over Aborted Landing At Barcelona Airport

Washington D.C. - The Susan B. Anthony List (SBA List), an organization whose stated purpose is "Advancing Pro-Life Leadership", has released a strongly-worded statement condemning the recent aborted landing by a 767 jetliner at Barcelona's El Prat A...
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Funny story:  Joran van der Sloot Marries Next Victim in Prison

Joran van der Sloot Marries Next Victim in Prison

Lima, Peru - In what promises to be a future Disney love-story movie, murderer and all around bad guy Joran van der Sloot married a psychotic chick this week in prison, where he met and impregnated the brainless female. Van der Sloot, who gained n...
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Funny story:  Obama calls on Hillary for support with review of don't do stupid sh*t policy to traveling press corps aboard Air Force One

Obama calls on Hillary for support with review of don't do stupid sh*t policy to traveling press corps aboard Air Force One

President Obama is once again aboard Air Force One giving the traveling press corps updates on his DDSS (don't do stupid sh*t) foreign policy. The world well remembers the formulation of this policy, aboard his jet, on the President's trip to Asia...
View 'Obama calls on Hillary for support with review of don't do stupid sh*t policy to traveling press corps aboard Air Force One'
Funny story:  Dawn of The Planet Of The Apes Disappointment - Man Threatens To Sue

Dawn of The Planet Of The Apes Disappointment - Man Threatens To Sue

A Tybee Island man is threatening to sue 20th Century Fox for misrepresentation after watching the sequel to the 2011 film Rise of the Planet of the Apes; Dawn of The Planet Apes. Scott Parker, 34, has filed suit claiming that after viewing the mo...
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Funny story:  Iranian World Cup Squad given their country's highest honor

Iranian World Cup Squad given their country's highest honor

With the Football world cup winding down, there has been a number of different reactions to teams as they head back to their respective countries. One team that was especially nervous before the world cup was Iran. They failed to win a single...
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Funny story:  Don't Do Stupid Sh*t party steps forward to challenge duopoly

Don't Do Stupid Sh*t party steps forward to challenge duopoly

The new DDSS party, inspired direct from President Obama's name for his foreign policy, the "Don't Do Stupid Sh*t" policy, is set for a two year run to take the Presidency. It emphasizes program, not personality. A founding principle begins: "We h...
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Funny story:  Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Iowa City - A doctoral student at The University of Iowa has uncovered a startling number of falsified resumes within the fast food industry. Ichabod Alchemy was working on his thesis which is a study of underlying economic trends that affect the...
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Funny story:  Rescue drama as tidal surge of algal bloom swamps Starbucks CEO's Hamptons beachfront

Rescue drama as tidal surge of algal bloom swamps Starbucks CEO's Hamptons beachfront

Long Island, NY - Long Island Pest Control lifeboats were out in force this weekend when a red tide of algal bloom slimed the beach at Howard Schultz's Gracie Lane teardown bringing phytoplanktonic chaos (WTF dat? - 'Ed') to the East Hampton spread.
View 'Rescue drama as tidal surge of algal bloom swamps Starbucks CEO's Hamptons beachfront'
Funny story:  Pregnancy rumors as Serena Williams pulls out early

Pregnancy rumors as Serena Williams pulls out early

Wimbledon, London - World number one seed Serena Williams is up the duff if Wimbledon tournament rumors are to be believed. A 3-0 game of double faults saw the winner of 32 Majors pull out early citing women's problems and a 'lack of balls'. U...
View 'Pregnancy rumors as Serena Williams pulls out early'
Funny story:  First Lady Wants to Hire Nuns to Discipline Unhealthy Shoppers

First Lady Wants to Hire Nuns to Discipline Unhealthy Shoppers

San Francisco - First Lady Michelle Obama has unveiled her latest plans for getting the nation to adopt her healthy eating guidelines and this one might hurt a bit. After tackling the country's school lunch program and transforming it into a train...
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Funny story:  Pope tells Russian Orthodox Patriarch he's going to hell over Malaysian aircraft outrage

Pope tells Russian Orthodox Patriarch he's going to hell over Malaysian aircraft outrage

Rome - And what's more he's cancelling his Holy Moscow Muff Chicks subscription, essential pontifical reading ahead of a merger with the Russian Orthodox Church. The protest also sees Frankie the Argie boycott Russian vodka, cocaine and caviar cu...
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Funny story:  NRA Endorses "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program"

NRA Endorses "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program"

The NRA and GOP have finally found a free school lunch program that they feel comfortable endorsing. The "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program" is a pilot program in selected rural areas that teaches firearm safety, hunting, trapping and self sufficien...
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Funny story:  Putting Rosie O'Donnell Back on 'The View' Bad Idea, Like Putting Hillary Back in White House

Putting Rosie O'Donnell Back on 'The View' Bad Idea, Like Putting Hillary Back in White House

New York City - Saturday Night Live had their skit for 'Bad Idea Jeans.' Some ideas, even if they worked okay the first time, are just bad ideas the second time around. The latest example of this skewed thinking is the return of Rosie O'Donnel...
View 'Putting Rosie O'Donnell Back on 'The View' Bad Idea, Like Putting Hillary Back in White House'
Funny story:  Michelle Obama Denies 'Blood Feud' With Clintons: "We Only Played 'Family Feud' With Them"

Michelle Obama Denies 'Blood Feud' With Clintons: "We Only Played 'Family Feud' With Them"

Washington D.C. - After the release of the top-selling book by Ed Klein, "Blood Feud," Michelle Obama has come forward to clear the air about reported animosity between America's two royal families - The Obamas and the Clintons. "There never was a...
View 'Michelle Obama Denies 'Blood Feud' With Clintons: "We Only Played 'Family Feud' With Them"'
Funny story:  Fart smellers may be smart fellas after all: smelling farts can reduce disease, study

Fart smellers may be smart fellas after all: smelling farts can reduce disease, study

HARFOLD, Vt - A new study at Harfold State College suggests that exposure to hydrogen sulfide gas, that is, what your body produces as bacteria breaks down food, could prevent mitochondria damage. This is good news for the Miss Harfold Diner which...
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Funny story:  Women Get Advice On Fox On How To Succeed

Women Get Advice On Fox On How To Succeed

A Fox & Friends segment on Monday warned women looking to succeed in business "not to raise their voices" and not to talk too much. Fox News host Steve Doocy introduced Sylvia Ann Hewlett, author of "Executive Presence." She suggested that w...
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Funny story:  Two Artists to Record New "We Are the World" Song for Border Immigrants

Two Artists to Record New "We Are the World" Song for Border Immigrants

Los Angeles - It has been announced that Prince and Bono will team up to record a follow-up to the 1980's anthem "We Are the World" to raise public awareness about the latest immigration crisis along our southern border. Many other artists wer...
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Funny story:  Armageddon IS ... "The Bank of Atlantis "

Armageddon IS ... "The Bank of Atlantis "

Olaf Soxoff, a German-Swiss skier has alerted the world to an incredible find. An experienced veteran of the piste, the sixty-three years old Olaf decided to try an unfamiliar route on the South side of Switzerland's highest mountain, the Matterhorn.
View 'Armageddon IS ... "The Bank of Atlantis "'
Funny story:  Bowe Bergdahl Captured by Immigration Reform Activists

Bowe Bergdahl Captured by Immigration Reform Activists

Seargant Bowe Bergdahl, the soldier held prisoner by the Taliban in Afghanistan for five years, is reportedly once again a Prisoner of War. Just days after being returned to active duty, the Pentagon announced today that Bergdahl sent his father an e...
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Funny story:  After Suffering Exhaustion From Signing Executive Orders, President Needs Vacation

After Suffering Exhaustion From Signing Executive Orders, President Needs Vacation

Washington D.C. - Next month, after a grueling schedule of signing executive orders, President Obama and his family will take a two week vacation to the dilapidated ruins of Martha's Vineyard, Mass., for some much needed rest. The president's...
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Funny story:  Big Bang Theory Cancelled

Big Bang Theory Cancelled

The Big Bang Theory is being permanently pulled as the creators of the show, Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady, have been arrested on suspicion of fraud, with the pair believed to have created numerous ghostwriters with them both pocketing their pay. Sus...
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Funny story:  Obama Insists America Shouldn't Make it Harder for 'Best and Brightest' to Come to Country

Obama Insists America Shouldn't Make it Harder for 'Best and Brightest' to Come to Country

Austin, TX - Many Americans agree with the president that we should not make it harder for the 'best and brightest' to come live in our country. However, most Americans would like to send President Obama a dictionary so he can look up what 'best...
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Funny story:  'Some ass radicalised him' as suicide donkey wreaks Gaza havoc

'Some ass radicalised him' as suicide donkey wreaks Gaza havoc

Palestine - Mossad is hunting a gang of radicalised drug mules that strapped a bomb belt onto a three year-old donkey that blew up in the Rafah area of the Gaza Strip today. Israeli bomb squad farces said they used a frozen lollipop to lure the b...
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Funny story:  Bridge Collapses, Drowning 22 Tea Party Activists

Bridge Collapses, Drowning 22 Tea Party Activists

HUNTINGTON, WV--The Robert C. Byrd Bridge, a bridge spanning the Ohio River between Chesapeake, OH and Huntington, WV, collapsed on Thursday, killing twenty-two members of the Tea Party Movement. The Tea Party activists were reportedly on their way...
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Funny story:  Prince Phillip's Hands Stuck Behind His Back For 3 Hours In Derrek Brown Stunt

Prince Phillip's Hands Stuck Behind His Back For 3 Hours In Derrek Brown Stunt

A Royal Performance by a mixture of Variety and Illusionist acts to mark Prince Phillip's Lifetime Award for not doing very much was topped by a spectacular hypnotic trick by Derrek Brown. Prince Phillip was convinced by Brown that his hands were...
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Funny story:  Nazi arrested on suspicion of spying for America

Nazi arrested on suspicion of spying for America

Berlin - A German government Nazi involved in deep penetration missions has been busted on suspicion of spying for the USA. Codenamed Agent Malva the Vulva the 69 year-old Bavarian blond bombshell was ambushed by NATO after getting caught red-hand...
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Funny story:  "Send A Message" To 9-Year-Olds Says GOP Chief

"Send A Message" To 9-Year-Olds Says GOP Chief

Oversight and Government Reform Chairman Darrell Issa, R-Calif., has sent President Barack Obama a letter calling for an end to the 2012 executive order granting stays of deportation to children brought into the country illegally by their parents whe...
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Funny story:  Crop circle circumcises Cerne Abbas Giant's dick

Crop circle circumcises Cerne Abbas Giant's dick

Cerne Abbas, Dorset - A crop circle has been blamed for emasculating the huge erect penis of a 180ft ancient Neolithic colossus known as the Cerne Abbas Dick. Uh, Giant. Carved into a Dorset chalk hillock over 10,000 years ago the club-wielding f...
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Funny story:  Palin: Impeach LeBron As King Of Basketball

Palin: Impeach LeBron As King Of Basketball

PANDERING FALLS, ALASKA -- Sarah Palin is calling for the impeachment of LeBron James as the king of basketball, noting his pursuit of a max deal at the expense of loyalty to his most recent employer, the Miami Heat, is despicable, reprehensible, loa...
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Funny story:  Thad "Cochroach" Cochran Now Considered Lowest Form of Politician

Thad "Cochroach" Cochran Now Considered Lowest Form of Politician

Jackson, MS - It now appears that Mississippi Senator Thad Cochran may have cheated and used the lowest of political tactics in his recent Republican primary to hang onto his political power at all costs. Fellow republicans now refer to Thadeus as...
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Funny story:  Merkel not apologetic for photobombing German players' selfies

Merkel not apologetic for photobombing German players' selfies

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - German chancellor Angela Merkel made no apologies Monday for putting herself into the middle of the World Cup fray by jumping into any and all selfies snapped by Germany's newly-crowned champions. Within an hour after the...
View 'Merkel not apologetic for photobombing German players' selfies'
Funny story:  Statue of Liberty to be replaced with new structure that looks like a New York police officer

Statue of Liberty to be replaced with new structure that looks like a New York police officer

Spearheaded by Senator John McCain, a new bipartisan movement inside the Congress is working toward tearing down and replacing the Statue of Liberty. So far no one in the government has raised any objections, with the President himself saying, "We...
View 'Statue of Liberty to be replaced with new structure that looks like a New York police officer'
Funny story:  Scummy Pubs To Hire Doorman

Scummy Pubs To Hire Doorman

Under a new Tory law, pubs that predominantly cater for the unemployed have to employ a thin, disheveled middle-aged man to smoke at the front door to ensure no upstanding citizens accidentally go in for a pint. The law, entitled 'fag means f**k o...
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Funny story:  Obama, Boehner Have Mental Disorders

Obama, Boehner Have Mental Disorders

The American Psychiatric Association has sought to determine who is most mentally ethically challenged, Republican Speaker of The House, John Boehner, or Democratic President Barack Obama. A study utilizing the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of...
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Funny story:  Skippy the bush kangaroo comes forward after years of abuse by Rolf Harris

Skippy the bush kangaroo comes forward after years of abuse by Rolf Harris

Skippy the bush kangaroo, the iconic television star of the show of the same name has come forward after years of abuse. In a tearful display exhibiting sadness and shock, she explained what had happened between her and Harris. Rolf Harris has been s...
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Funny story:  Move To Overturn U.S. - Scotland  Haggis Import Ban

Move To Overturn U.S. - Scotland Haggis Import Ban

A ban on Haggis imported from Scotland into the U.S. may be lifted in the next few days as E.U. and The United States meet to improve food trading regulations between the two Continents. The importation of Haggis from Scotland (near England, E.U.
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Funny story:  Mario Batali Detained

Mario Batali Detained

The famous chef was arrested last week for being a suspected illegal immigrant and was remanded to a federal detention facility in Georgia. Mr. Batali was hosting a celebrity-chef cook-off in a studio at the Food Network when he was forcibly remov...
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Funny story:  Priest's Sobriety Brings An End To Many "Just for the guys" Jokes

Priest's Sobriety Brings An End To Many "Just for the guys" Jokes

Many of the off-color and often crude jokes told by men exclusively to other men came under threat today when the anonymous priest mentioned in a majority of the jokes entered rehab for alcohol addiction. Father X, who entered a substance abuse...
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Funny story:  Seattle teens embarrassed by pot smoking parents

Seattle teens embarrassed by pot smoking parents

Seattle, WA. When selling and consuming pot became legal this month in Washington State, baby boomers came out in droves to toke it up. But much to their surprise, their children were not so "hip" to the idea of their parents and even grandparents ge...
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Funny story:  Pope Blessing of Eternal Life for Soccer Players

Pope Blessing of Eternal Life for Soccer Players

Pope Francis has announced that the Vatican will become a major sponsor of sporting events such as the FIFA World Cup and the Olympics, and called on churches around the world to get more involved in sporting events in their communities. In conti...
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Funny story:  Massive cleanup after tropical storm Arthur misses New York

Massive cleanup after tropical storm Arthur misses New York

NEW YORK, NY - New York City residents mopped up Saturday after tropical storm Arthur missed New York, and doused cable news networks' celebrations. "Overall, we're in pretty good shape," said Bill De Blasio, mayor of New York City, 'the greatest...
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Funny story:  All U.S. Boomers Target Of Class Action Lawsuit

All U.S. Boomers Target Of Class Action Lawsuit

Harvard junior and political science major Nick Overmann's parents expended every effort and spared no expense on their sun's education while he attended a rather good public schools in Southern California's Westlake Village. He went to numerous sci...
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Funny story:  The Devil Pussy invades!

The Devil Pussy invades!

An elderly couple recently told how they were terrorised in their own home for three days by a cat! Royston Munt needed hospital treatment after being attacked by the intruder, which got in through a bedroom window. Retired taxidermist and WW2...
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Funny story:  Hillary Clinton Takes Break to Write Book on How Not to Promote a New Book

Hillary Clinton Takes Break to Write Book on How Not to Promote a New Book

New York - Former first lady Hillary Clinton has decided to take a break from her current book tour to listen to her latest muse - her own current book tour. "I looked in the mirror the other day, and I realized that my disastrous book tou...
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Funny story:  "God's Not Dead; He's Just Incompetent," with Kevin Sorbo, to Hit the Theaters Next Week

"God's Not Dead; He's Just Incompetent," with Kevin Sorbo, to Hit the Theaters Next Week

HOLLYWOOD--The sequel to "God's Not Dead" will hit the theaters next week, and the much-anticipated sequel is, like the first movie, expected to fill theaters with evangelical fervor, only this time from the opposite side of the debate. In "God's...
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Funny story:  United States to Celebrate 'Throwback Thursday' by Reinstituting Segregation for a Day

United States to Celebrate 'Throwback Thursday' by Reinstituting Segregation for a Day

In a recent move to win support of the increasingly racist white population, the U.S. government has decided to celebrate Throwback Thursday by resegregating the American population for a period of 24 hours this Thursday. States have been instruc...
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Funny story:  Dubya's Predator Chapel Ranch an Architectural Digest listing

Dubya's Predator Chapel Ranch an Architectural Digest listing

Crawford, Texarse - Bush's Texan teardown was listing at 90 degrees today according to readers' reflux reactions to the Architectural Digest feature. The glossy rag is rumored to have been paid a hefty six figure sum by the ex-president to make P...
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Funny story:  Environmentalists Boldly Demand Obama to "Nuke the Coal"

Environmentalists Boldly Demand Obama to "Nuke the Coal"

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Thousands of protestors in California gathered for public awareness on the threat of coal. "Imminent and complete extinction of all life on the planet" could occur before the next election if drastic measures are not taken, or som...
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Funny story:  Netanyahu wins FOX news decency award

Netanyahu wins FOX news decency award

FOX news has just announced Israel's Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu as winner of its Summer 2014 annual decency award. Ceremonies will be held at FOX News headquarters in New York City and attended by President Obama and other dignitaries. P...
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Funny story:  George Bush Kidnapped!

George Bush Kidnapped!

George Bush Jnr. has been kidnapped while on a fishing trip to Vancouver. A letter delivered to the editor of the Vancouver Sun stated.... "I and my warriors have kidnapped the sonofabitch on behalf of our noble ancestors. He will be released when...
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Funny story:  Majority of Illegal Immigrant Children Approved for Asylum, But Which One?

Majority of Illegal Immigrant Children Approved for Asylum, But Which One?

Texas - According to the House Judiciary Committee, two-thirds of illegal children who have requested asylum after crossing our southern border will be admitted and allowed to stay in our country. But why would any child want to live their lif...
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Funny story:  Ryan-heir Proposal To Save Glasgow  Prestwick Airport With Trash Class Flights

Ryan-heir Proposal To Save Glasgow Prestwick Airport With Trash Class Flights

Trash Class flights with aircraft interiors looking like Glasgow bus shelters on a Saturday night have been put forward as a means of saving struggling Prestwick Airport. The aircraft interiors will be less "posh" and intimidating to Glaswegians.
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Funny story:  Woman Goes Berserk When She Learns Not Every Redbox Has Every Movie

Woman Goes Berserk When She Learns Not Every Redbox Has Every Movie

Middleton - Local Middleton resident Elvira Standard was arrested yesterday after ramming her car into the Redbox outside a Kroger grocery store. Ms. Standard in fact did not strike the Redbox just one time, but backed up and rammed into the kiosk fo...
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Funny story:  $3.7 billion requested to handle influx of Obama's undocumented brats

$3.7 billion requested to handle influx of Obama's undocumented brats

Washington - Congress is being asked to stump up nearly four billion dollars to successfully implement a credible narrative that will take care of an influx of the President's Mexican offspring. Big checks are expected to come from budgets run by...
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Funny story:  Welsh operations on the rise

Welsh operations on the rise

It has become the most popular surgery in the UK, and is now widely available on the NHS, to the shock of tabloid editors all over the country. So why are we all having to fork out for Brits to have an operation to become Welsh? Gryffythyth Thejon...
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Funny story:  Global Warming -or- How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the End of Civilization

Global Warming -or- How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the End of Civilization

Rambutt, Twaingo Province, UN Building, Kago Island, South Pacific (STT News) Today, news was finally released on the bitter facts of Preferred Acquired Global Warming (PAGW) and what to expect in the centuries before us. On the small island of K...
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Funny story:  Are text abbreviations a time-honored panacea?

Are text abbreviations a time-honored panacea?

Text abbreviations are a part of our lives. Why do we use texting shortcuts? Nearly everyone will agree that they save time. For instance, to proverbially pat the back of someone who has said something exceptionally funny, you can simply type "LMAO".
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Funny story:  Leeds United to become 'dirty' once more

Leeds United to become 'dirty' once more

After the Leeds United squad collectively refused to move to live in the city a few days ago, the controversy has continued at Elland Road as Swiss International defender, Jonathan Rossini, had his loan deal terminated due to having a "poor attitude"...
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Funny story:  Feds, Media Insist on PC Language Regarding Immigrants: Call Them "Mosquitos"

Feds, Media Insist on PC Language Regarding Immigrants: Call Them "Mosquitos"

Murrieta, CA - Federal officials, members of the mainstream media, and the self-appointed PC Police are imploring citizens to stop using what they consider to be offensive language regarding the influx of immigrants from Central America into Texa...
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Funny story:  Skybus Airlines dupes Toledo, OH residents

Skybus Airlines dupes Toledo, OH residents

Columbus, OH - Port Columbus International Airport offers only one all-season nonstop flight to an international destination, namely, to Toronto, Canada. And when it does offer seasonal nonstop flights to non-U.S. destinations, they are typically to...
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Funny story:  On the Health and Economic Effects of Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wounds

On the Health and Economic Effects of Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wounds

A question of long-standing interest to the public is whether self-inflicted gunshot wounds are causally related to poor health, death, lower earnings, and a lower probability of working full-time. Put more simply, will shooting a loaded gun in your...
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Funny story:  Hillary Clinton secretly enters Iraq to assess ISIS and begin pre-presidential negotiations

Hillary Clinton secretly enters Iraq to assess ISIS and begin pre-presidential negotiations

In burqa and nijab, with her signature dark wraparounds, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton recently entered Iraq as part of her presidential campaign. No simple drop in and out with flak jacket, HRC slipped into Iraq and drove north from Bagh...
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Funny story:  Whatever Happened to Paddy Freeman?

Whatever Happened to Paddy Freeman?

Patrick Freeman has gone missing. The amateur inventor from a little village in the South of Ireland claimed on his Facebook page that he had invented a car that could run on tap water. It required, he said, only a rechargeable battery and its en...
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Funny story:  Gov. Rick Perry Says Students Should Get Guns

Gov. Rick Perry Says Students Should Get Guns

Gov. Rick Perry of Texas today explained how his states voter ID laws work. "A state handgun license qualifies, but a state university identification card does not. Of course military ID's qualify too," stated the GOP governor. "There's been som...
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Funny story:  Seinfeld Injured In Auto Accident Filming Episode of  'Comedians Getting Coffee'

Seinfeld Injured In Auto Accident Filming Episode of 'Comedians Getting Coffee'

Jerry Seinfeld, former network star, was involved in an auto accident yesterday while filming an episode of "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee" in Branson, Missouri. According to the Branson Police Department five people, including Mr. Seinfeld and...
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Funny story:  "Shower Love" Added As Elective In Federal Prison System Education Curriculum

"Shower Love" Added As Elective In Federal Prison System Education Curriculum

Washington D.C. - The Federal Bureau of Prisons (FBP), the agency that manages the system of Federal prisons, has added "Shower Love" as an elective to it's in-house inmate education program. The addition of the course is intended to foster closer mo...
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Funny story:  Mylie Cyrus Cancels Gaza Strip Tour

Mylie Cyrus Cancels Gaza Strip Tour

Pop Slut Superstar Mylie Cyrus posted on her Facebook page today that she is cancelling her upcoming Gaza Strip concert tour due to the escalating "war and stuff" in the region. "I know my fans in Gaza will be really heartbroken that I'm not comin...
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Funny story:  Baby Naming Business

Baby Naming Business

A baby naming business born in Boulder, Colorado, in January is doing remarkably well. What started as an expectant father searching for the perfect name, owner Michael Scholes says he is now creating hundreds of names a month for other people. "...
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