There were 409 spoof news stories published in May 2013. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story:  LeBron James of The Miami Heat Responds To The Gay Rumors

LeBron James of The Miami Heat Responds To The Gay Rumors

MIAMI - LeBron James was asked about the recent gay rumors that have just surfaced regarding him. He explained to Hercules Confetti with Sporting Chance Magazine that he and his fiancée were both shocked beyond belief when the rumor first surfaced...
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Funny story:  Jay Leno Addresses The Divorce Rumors

Jay Leno Addresses The Divorce Rumors

BURBANK - Jay Leno has not exactly been himself lately. And who can blame him since he knows that he is being unceremoniously dumped by the suits at the Peacock Network. Leno has become very good at hiding his true feelings, but his hair stylist F...
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Funny story:  Cheryl Cole Admits She Has A New Intimate Tattoo

Cheryl Cole Admits She Has A New Intimate Tattoo

VENICE BEACH - Cheryl Cole plans to meet with Simon Cowell about possibly filling Britney Spears judges seat on X-Factor. The British singer had lunch with lookalike friend Selena Gomez at The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Diner in Venice Beach.
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Funny story:  Shakira Finally Responds To The Chicharito Rumors

Shakira Finally Responds To The Chicharito Rumors

NEW ORLEANS - Colombian singer-dancer Shakira recently performed at The Voodoo Arena in the city known as The Big Easy. After her three encores she sat backstage and talked with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk. The 36-year-old South Am...
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Funny story:  President Obama To Visit North Korea

President Obama To Visit North Korea

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has given in to some of his advisers and he will be making a trip to Pyongyang, North Korea to meet with Kim Jong Un. The president said that he had been invited to be the guest of the North Korean leader two wee...
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Funny story:  Ian Somerhalder Denies That Nina Dobrev Has Had A Boob Job

Ian Somerhalder Denies That Nina Dobrev Has Had A Boob Job

BROOKLYN - One-half of the happiest celebrity couple in all of LaLaLand Ian Somerhalder was in Brooklyn visiting an old friend. Somerhalder who stars as Damon Salvatore on the hit cable show The Vampire Diaries along with Nina Dobrev and Paul Wesl...
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Funny story:  Hurricane hits Warsaw and kills nobody!

Hurricane hits Warsaw and kills nobody!

Warsaw,Poland: Hurricane Erskine hit Warsaw over the Whit weekend and killed nobody, damaged no buildings, but hit the Warsaw Book Fair with some very turbulent sex waves! In fact the impact of Hurricane Erskine Esq. hitting the city was so extrem...
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Funny story:  Star Trek Into Darkness: The Bloopers, Trivia, and Quotes

Star Trek Into Darkness: The Bloopers, Trivia, and Quotes

HOLLYWOOD - Chris Pine, who portrays Captain James T. Kirk in Star Trek Into Darkness, said that he had so much fun making the motion picture that he almost felt guilty taking the fantastic amount of money he was paid. Speaking with Pomona Vox of...
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Funny story:  The 10 sure signs you're playing for the Mets

The 10 sure signs you're playing for the Mets

Flushing, New York -- It's hard enough being a Mets fan, putting up with a Scrooge of an owner and a stooge of a general manager. Imagine playing for this talentless team. Put yourself in their bargain store spikes and consider the 10 top indicatio...
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Funny story:  Ecuador racketeering lawsuit names ultimate godfather of bent lawyers

Ecuador racketeering lawsuit names ultimate godfather of bent lawyers

New York - The International Shyster Lawyers Association has awarded Tony B Liar its prestigious Lifetime Achievement Gong for inspirational groundwork in New York's forthcoming Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations - RICO - lawsuit against...
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Funny story:  NASA Fumes As Kepler Telescope Emancipates Himself

NASA Fumes As Kepler Telescope Emancipates Himself

To save face, NASA is reporting that the Kepler telescope is broken. Hogwash! The truth is quite different. And somewhat sad, at least for the space agency. You see, the telescope has declared himself emancipated from his NASA "parents" and has...
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Funny story:  Taliban General Plotting To Kidnap Sarah Palin Captured In Wasilla, Alaska

Taliban General Plotting To Kidnap Sarah Palin Captured In Wasilla, Alaska

WASILLA, Alaska - Local authorities in Sarah Palin's hometown of Wasilla are reporting that they have made one of the biggest arrests in the history of the Alaskan town. Wasilla Sheriff Abner Bellbubble stated that at 4 a.m. on Friday morning loca...
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Funny story:  Cloning the Woolly Mammoth: Discoveries of possible DNA samples suggest that hunters have the rare opportunity to annihilate the Mammoth in the 21st century.

Cloning the Woolly Mammoth: Discoveries of possible DNA samples suggest that hunters have the rare opportunity to annihilate the Mammoth in the 21st century.

Science Daily: New York, NY. Geneticists and Members of The National Hunting Association have formed an alliance to galvanize research and fund one of the greatest feats of the 21st century, to resurrect the Woolly Mammoth, hunt it, and kill it.
View 'Cloning the Woolly Mammoth: Discoveries of possible DNA samples suggest that hunters have the rare opportunity to annihilate the Mammoth in the 21st century.'
Funny story:  O.J. Simpson To Be Released From Prison

O.J. Simpson To Be Released From Prison

LAS VEGAS - Many people were shocked to learn that O.J. Simpson, who was sentenced to serve 33 years in prison, could be released by Labor Day. A spokesperson for Nevada's Lovelock Correctional Center stated that Simpson, who has ballooned up to 3...
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Funny story:  Cheryl Cole Announces That She and Chicharito Are An Item

Cheryl Cole Announces That She and Chicharito Are An Item

NEW YORK CITY - Cheryl Cole, who is being touted to replace the fired Britney Spears on X-Factor, was in town shooting a lipstick commercial. She was asked by Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle about joining Simon Cowell's X-Factor cast. C...
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Funny story:  Kim Jong Un Fires Off 3 Missiles - All 3 Land In A North Korean Rice Paddy

Kim Jong Un Fires Off 3 Missiles - All 3 Land In A North Korean Rice Paddy

PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korean leader Kim Jong Un AKA Butterball Boy, arrogant as ever has announced that he launched three missiles from a launching pad in Pyongyang. Chung Duck Ho, the spokesman for North Korea's Rice Paddy Whack National...
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Funny story:  Shaquille O'Neal Turns Down An Offer To Return To The Los Angeles Lakers

Shaquille O'Neal Turns Down An Offer To Return To The Los Angeles Lakers

LOS ANGELES - Former Los Angeles Laker Shaquille O'Neal was in Tinsel Town on some business. He was asked by Sports Territory Magazine's Tango Brisket about the rumor that the Laker ownership has asked him to sign a one-year contract. O'Neal, who...
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Funny story:  Porpoise Switches His Tracking Device to Randy Researcher

Porpoise Switches His Tracking Device to Randy Researcher

After caring for an ailing porpoise for six months, researchers in Long Island recently released Noodle (yep, that's his name) back to the ocean, but not before they tagged him with a tracking device so that they can follow him and report his whereab...
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Funny story:  New study reveals economy not improving; older men unable to afford lavish gifts for hot young women

New study reveals economy not improving; older men unable to afford lavish gifts for hot young women

New Study shows signs that economy is still suffering. Evidence suggests that gift-giving by older men to hot-younger women has dropped huge percentage points, perhaps as high as 1/3 from before the recession. Offers of weekend getaways and shopping...
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Funny story:  Kanye West Walks Into A Signpost and Kim Kardashian Says It's A Sign

Kanye West Walks Into A Signpost and Kim Kardashian Says It's A Sign

BEVERLY HILLS - Kanye West returned to the states after spending weeks overseas in France. West said that he had gone to The Land of Ooh La La to get some inspiration for an upcoming album. Many U.S. music critics wondered why Kanye could not h...
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Funny story:  Entire Minor League Baseball Team Suspended!

Entire Minor League Baseball Team Suspended!

DULUTH, Minnesota - The commissioner of Minor League Baseball, Montague Bottlebiffer has just issued a three-game suspension for the entire Duluth Doodlebugs baseball team. Commissioner Bottlebiffer stated that it was brought to his attention that...
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Funny story:  Britain's Double Decker Buses To Be Replaced

Britain's Double Decker Buses To Be Replaced

LONDON - Britain's Bus Bureau, known as the BBB, has just announced that it is in the process of starting to eliminate all double decker buses. Reginald F. Quibbenshire, a spokesperson for BBB stated that since the numbers of people riding public...
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Funny story:  A List of 10 New Products That Just Did Not Sell

A List of 10 New Products That Just Did Not Sell

Every year hundreds of corporations throughout the entire United States spend millions of dollars on developing, marketing, and selling brand new products. Some times they get lucky and the product-buying American consumer accepts the product and the item becomes a manufacturing success. But most of the times, however, the public rejects the new product. And that item soon is sent off int...
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Funny story:  Lindsay Lohan's Rehab Clinic Escape Plot Exposed!

Lindsay Lohan's Rehab Clinic Escape Plot Exposed!

LOS ANGELES - The Los Angeles Police Department is reporting that Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic patient #73013 was making plans to escape from the rehab facility. Officer W.K. Ruskinriggins with the LAPD said that he was called to the rehab...
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Funny story:  Carrie Fisher Purchases $90,000 Worth of Star Wars Memorabilia

Carrie Fisher Purchases $90,000 Worth of Star Wars Memorabilia

BEVERLY HILLS - Carrie Fisher has admitted that she is a first rate shopaholic and she cannot control her addiction. She recently spoke with iRumors reporter Vodka Vermicelli and told her that she has gone into book stores and ended up buying 25 b...
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Funny story:  American Idol's Mariah Carey Blames Nicki Minaj For The Lip Syncing Rumor

American Idol's Mariah Carey Blames Nicki Minaj For The Lip Syncing Rumor

HOLLYWOOD - It is no secret that there is no love lost between American Idol female judges Mariah "The Diva" Carey and Nicki "The Circus Clown" Minaj. But Carey is fuming at the charges by some American Idol viewers who have tweeted that she was l...
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Funny story:  Taylor Swift Wins 8 Billboard Music Awards

Taylor Swift Wins 8 Billboard Music Awards

LAS VEGAS - Millions of viewers watched as Taylor Swift cleaned up at the Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Sin City, USA. Taylor won a total of 8 awards including Top Female Artist, Top Country Artist, Top Country Album, Top...
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Funny story:  Dwight Howard Said He May Leave The Lakers And Sign With The Cleveland Cavaliers

Dwight Howard Said He May Leave The Lakers And Sign With The Cleveland Cavaliers

LOS ANGELES - Dwight Howard spoke with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily and said that he has dribbled his last ball as a Los Angeles Laker. Howard told Rufus Reno with SBID that he just cannot take another year of playing for the Laker Day Care Cent...
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Funny story:  Fart Farm advocate accused of fudging data---threatens Fart Wars

Fart Farm advocate accused of fudging data---threatens Fart Wars

The Raleigh News & Observer clamed in a front page editorial this morning that Senator T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg had "fudged the data" in claiming that his proposed Fart Farms could solve the state's energy problems. "This is not the first time...
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Funny story:  Madonna Cannot Stand Nicki Minaj and Says She Belongs In The Circus

Madonna Cannot Stand Nicki Minaj and Says She Belongs In The Circus

BROOKLYN - Madonna was leaving The Salvatore Goombalini General Hospital after having had an ingrown hair removed from her upper lip. As she walked out the front door she was asked by Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk what she thought abo...
View 'Madonna Cannot Stand Nicki Minaj and Says She Belongs In The Circus'
Funny story:  Man In Des Moines Wants To Marry Goat

Man In Des Moines Wants To Marry Goat

The issue of gay marriage is a very hot topic right now with two, and only two, sides to the argument. One side says homosexuals should be allowed to marry, while the other side says it's repulsive and will lead to people marrying animals just becaus...
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Funny story:  Benghazi - Space Aliens Admit Dropping Obama Brain

Benghazi - Space Aliens Admit Dropping Obama Brain

WASHINGTON, DC - On the afternoon of September 11, 2012, the White House began pre-party warmups, unaware of an impending attack in Benghazi, Libya. Young staffers, election strategists, and political aides walked through the halls, pointing at each...
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Funny story:  Ruling Authority announces first congressional draft

Ruling Authority announces first congressional draft

In its first pick in the new congressional draft, the Ruling Authority selected Arnold Sayers of New Ipswitch, Maine. The thirty-eight year old plumber was dragged kicking and screaming from his home to replace Senator Jeff Sessions of Alabama, also...
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Funny story:  Obama Administration to Establish New Department of Truth

Obama Administration to Establish New Department of Truth

In view of the recent scandals and persistent questions from the press and Republicans demanding that the White House explain variations in its responses on a host of so-called scandals - from Benghazi to the wiretapping of Associated Press reporters...
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Funny story:  Americant Airlines doesn't want you in the cabin

Americant Airlines doesn't want you in the cabin

Spokesman Ann T. Sociale of Americant Airlines revealed a new price structure for domestic flights. The move is thought by staff here to be in response to a recent policy shift by another well known airline favoring passengers that do not bring bags...
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Funny story:  Atos canonised by the Catholic Church

Atos canonised by the Catholic Church

Atos, the French company that has been charged by the Department for Work And Pensions to determine the disability payments for the people of the UK will be canonised by the Catholic church after a criticism from leader of the opposition, Ed Milliban...
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Funny story:  Rihanna Finally Admits She Hates Chris Brown

Rihanna Finally Admits She Hates Chris Brown

DETROIT - Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that it appears that Rihanna has finally come to her senses. The Caribbean singer confided to Carolina Chipotle with BPT that she has realized that her infatuation with ex-boyfriend Chris Brown is over.
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Funny story:  Miley Cyrus Buys The Biggest Bong In Existence

Miley Cyrus Buys The Biggest Bong In Existence

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - According to iRumors, Miley Cyrus is one of the biggest drug memorabilia collectors on the entire Left Coast. A close friend of Miley's said that she has a roach clip collection that rivals even the extensive collection of 80-yea...
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Funny story:  Kid Rock Attacks Lip Syncers - Britney Spears Tells Him To Mind His Own Damn Business

Kid Rock Attacks Lip Syncers - Britney Spears Tells Him To Mind His Own Damn Business

LAS VEGAS - Kid Rock, who at times acts like he could be Gary Busey's long lost twin, offended a lot of singers at the Billboard Music Awards with his remark about lip syncing. Rocky, as Joan "The Moan" Rivers calls him, sarcastically said that he...
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Funny story:  Utah Says Anyone Caught Exhibiting A Tramp Stamp Will Be Fined

Utah Says Anyone Caught Exhibiting A Tramp Stamp Will Be Fined

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah - Sixty-two percent of the citizens of Utah are Mormons. According to a recent survey taken by The Giddy Up Public Opinion Poll Company, 61.9 percent of those individuals are extremely dedicated to their religion. Mormons...
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Funny story:  President Obama Says North Korea's Kim Jong Un Wants The U.S. To Give Him A $1 Billion Loan

President Obama Says North Korea's Kim Jong Un Wants The U.S. To Give Him A $1 Billion Loan

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama revealed to Vice-President Joe Biden and his dinner guests George Clooney and Stacy Keibler the latest regarding that big mouthed North Korean fella Kim Jong Un. The four were having dinner at the White House alo...
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Funny story:  There's Trouble Looming In The Prince William - Kate Middleton Marriage

There's Trouble Looming In The Prince William - Kate Middleton Marriage

NEW YORK CITY - Ashburn Wasabi with The Right Coast Revue is reporting that there appears to be some problems in the fairy tale marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton AKA The Duchess of Cambridge. Wasabi spoke with a correspondent with Engl...
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Funny story:  Andy Dick Infatuated With Katy Perry's Boobs

Andy Dick Infatuated With Katy Perry's Boobs

LA BREA - One of Hollywood's newest and most unlikeliest couples Katy Perry and Andy Dick were spotted having dinner at the world famous La Brea Tar Pits Diner. Fellow patrons reported that Perry was wearing a blouse that was so low cut that both...
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Funny story:  Oh! Calcutta

Oh! Calcutta

Farce, by definition, is a standard theatrical comedy. Sadly enough, some criminal agents, for more than three decades, have devised a sickening strain of farce which boggles the mind. This 21st century strain combines the rough boisterous comedy with human suffering in a disgusting manner. In farce, everything is exaggerated, including the plot which twists a lot, thus sending the spectators'...
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Funny story:  How Could They?

How Could They?

I've sent my son to a Public School. He had all the benefits of getting to know chaps with the same outlook on life as himself. And how does he pay me back? He has turned into A RAVING QUEER!! What is worse he wants to get married. TO ANOTHER MAN. To bring even more disgrace he wants to get married in a CHURCH. My God, I can hardly believe it. With all this upon me I now have my MP...
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Funny story:  Gay marriage call a "disaster"

Gay marriage call a "disaster"

To have got that Gay Marriage Bill through with Miliband's help was the last straw. A total disaster. To think it was Tories who helped it through! My son has already been around about the wedding he is fixing with his partner, Jeremy, next year. He's a surprisingly normal chap this Jeremy - you really wouldn't know the feller was bent. Augustus, my son, has asked me if we would prefer a wed...
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Funny story:  Cheryl Cole and Adele To Record A Song Written By Paul McCartney

Cheryl Cole and Adele To Record A Song Written By Paul McCartney

LOS ANGELES - Ryan Seacrest has just broken the news that Adele and Cheryl Cole will soon be going into the recording studio to record a song that was written especially for them by Paul McCartney. Seacrest said that Cheryl called him up and told...
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Funny story:  American Idol Bombshell - All 4 Judges Are Being Fired!

American Idol Bombshell - All 4 Judges Are Being Fired!

LOS ANGELES - The executives of American Idol have just dropped the biggest bombshell in the show's 12 seasons on the air. A highly placed inside source who said that his name was Ahab stated that he overheard the show's producers talking about th...
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Funny story:  Spock Had Ears Re-pointed by Plastic Surgery

Spock Had Ears Re-pointed by Plastic Surgery

And that's not all. He admits to a brow lift as well! Finally coming clean, the Vulcan confirmed the surgery rumors last night at a hastily called press conference at Grand Central Station in NYC. "This is the most exciting trip home I've e...
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Funny story:  Lady Gaga Talks About The Sex Toy Rumors

Lady Gaga Talks About The Sex Toy Rumors

BROOKLYN - Lady Gaga says that she can hardly wait to get back on the touring circuit and show the world that she is a much better performer than Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Jennifer Lopez. Lady Gaga, who is recovering from a vocal cor...
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Funny story:  Kelly Clarkson Says "No" To American Idol

Kelly Clarkson Says "No" To American Idol

LOS ANGELES - The very first winner on American Idol, Kelly Clarkson has reportedly been asked to be a judge on next season's edition of the singing competition show. According to Music Moments Magazine, the producers of AI want Kelly to take over...
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Funny story:  The Pennsylvania State Senate Unanimously Bans Twerking

The Pennsylvania State Senate Unanimously Bans Twerking

HARRISBURG, Pennsylvania - The State of Pennsylvania has become the first one in the nation to ban the new fad known as Twerking. The state senate voted 50-0 to outlaw the practice and issue heavy fines to individuals caught doing what Senator Con...
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Funny story:  Rush Limbaugh Reportedly Has Nude Photos of Ann Coulter

Rush Limbaugh Reportedly Has Nude Photos of Ann Coulter

NEW YORK CITY - After insisting that he has never seen naked photos of Ann Coulter, much less possessed any, it appears that the Republican radio talk show host may be on the verge of changing his tune. According to American Spotlight Magazine the...
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Funny story:  Kim Jong Un Is Thinking About Renaming North Korea

Kim Jong Un Is Thinking About Renaming North Korea

PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un is without a doubt one of the most fickle leaders in the history of world leaders. The 30-year-old had the nerve to ask President Obama for a $1 billion loan (interest free). He has also stated that he wants...
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Funny story:  The Beatles to reform for the next Eurovision

The Beatles to reform for the next Eurovision

The UK's Eurovision Committee, chaired by Sebastian Coe, have employed the services of Sir Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr and a black magician by the name of Alistair Darling for next year's Eurovision contest entry for the UK. "Darling will employ t...
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Funny story:  President Obama Sings A Song At A Hip Hop Concert In Chicago

President Obama Sings A Song At A Hip Hop Concert In Chicago

CHICAGO - President Obama and the First Mama flew into the Windy City to attend a concert by their favorite band Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz. Before the band started playing their big hit "S.H.E.S. Gone And I Be So Friggin S.A.D" they as...
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Funny story:  Angelina Jolie Wants To Adopt Justin Bieber

Angelina Jolie Wants To Adopt Justin Bieber

NEW YORK CITY - Angelina Jolie has said that she knows what it is like to be on an emotional roller coaster dating back to the time when she was with that Hollywood loser Billy Bob Thornton. Jolie spoke with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Tal...
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Funny story:  Kate Gosselin Shocked At Her Lewd Upskirt Photo

Kate Gosselin Shocked At Her Lewd Upskirt Photo

BURBANK - Kate Gosselin was in town for an appearance on Jay Leno's Tonight Show. When she was on the air with the man who Dancing With The Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba calls The Chinmaster, she was shown a candid photo of herself. Kate gasped...
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Funny story:  Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Explain The Alleged 'Break Up" Rumors

Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Explain The Alleged 'Break Up" Rumors

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder, stars of The Vampire Diaries, flew into Cabo's General Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana Airport and were immediately besieged by the paparazzi. Polo Del Matador, a reporter with The Cabo San Luca...
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Funny story:  FDA Approves Morning After Pill For Males:  Let's Them Forget Coyote Ugly Sex Partners

FDA Approves Morning After Pill For Males: Let's Them Forget Coyote Ugly Sex Partners

BILLINGSGATE POST - With all of the controversy surrounding yesterday's announcement that the FDA has approved the morning after pill for females 15 years and older who wish to make sure the fun they had the night before doesn't result in a pregnancy...
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Funny story:  Friday's 'Ring of Fire' solar eclipse will transit Pacific Ring of Fire seismic zone

Friday's 'Ring of Fire' solar eclipse will transit Pacific Ring of Fire seismic zone

Pacific Ocean - An annular eclipse in the Earth sign of Taurus will trace a path across the world's most volatile tectonic zone on Friday. Beginning around half-past midnight GMT the 'Ring of Fire' cakewalk will take in a notorious seismic quagmir...
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Funny story:  NASA to Send Armed Rover to Mars

NASA to Send Armed Rover to Mars

NASA have confirmed that their next planned mission to Mars in 2015 will involve sending a full-armed, armour plated rover named Killbot-X231. The rover, based on the current Mars Expedition Rover will contain both conventional and nuclear arms capab...
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Funny story:  New Beauty Mask Made of Kitty Litter

New Beauty Mask Made of Kitty Litter

Scientists have stumbled onto a unique and inexpensive way to self-administer a beauty facial that, until now, only Hollywood stars could aspire to. Yes, you can now achieve the same long-lasting results-tight-as-a-drum skin, nearly invisible wri...
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Funny story:  Hollywood Collector Pays $4,000,000 For Angelina Jolie's Breasts

Hollywood Collector Pays $4,000,000 For Angelina Jolie's Breasts

A high profile collector of Hollywood memorabilia has reportedly paid $4M for the removed breasts of actress Angelina Jolie who earlier this week revealed that she had a double mastectomy after finding out she carries a defective gene that puts her a...
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Funny story:  Studies Show Ritalin Really Works!

Studies Show Ritalin Really Works!

DES MOINES- A study from the University of Des Moines was conducted recently to learn about the true effects of Ritalin on children and teens. One student by the same of Harry Christiansen hypothesized that Ritalin works only because of the Placebo E...
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Funny story:  The Cleveland Hero, Charles Ramsey Deserves Big Macs For Life

The Cleveland Hero, Charles Ramsey Deserves Big Macs For Life

CLEVELAND - There is probably no one in the United States of America who has not seen the video of Cleveland's Charles Ramsey explaining his role in rescuing Amanda Berry, her daughter, and the other two girls who were held captive by a crazy mad man...
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Funny story:  Tim Duncan of The San Antonio Spurs Going From The Basketball Court To The Divorce Court

Tim Duncan of The San Antonio Spurs Going From The Basketball Court To The Divorce Court

SAN ANTONIO - Word from the front office of the San Antonio Spurs is that their four time NBA world champion power forward Tim Duncan is headed from the basketball court to the divorce court. Sporting Chance Magazine reports that a county courthou...
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Funny story:  Chevron opens Moon regional HQ

Chevron opens Moon regional HQ

Pennsylvania - Newly acquired lunar oil field rights mean the San Ramon-based super major needs a new regional headquarters office campus a Chevron source said today. And next month the company will be starting up its newbuild-in-the-sky according...
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Funny story:  Apple Announces Their New Corporate Name

Apple Announces Their New Corporate Name

CUPERTINO, California - A representative with Apple Inc. has just informed the news media that the consumer electronics giant will be changing their company name. Toby Columbus Pittypacker, 49, explained that after months of inner-corporate debati...
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Funny story:  Kim Jong Un's Race Horse Will Not Be Allowed To Run In The Belmont Stakes

Kim Jong Un's Race Horse Will Not Be Allowed To Run In The Belmont Stakes

ELMONT, New York - The United States Racehorse Federation has just announced that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un's racehorse Northern Rice King will not be allowed to run in the 145th running of The Belmont Stakes. USRF spokesperson Amethyst Chut...
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Funny story:  Noose tightens around Donziger's neck

Noose tightens around Donziger's neck

New York - Dumped by his own attorneys as a potential bankruptcy liability Amazonbotch litigation hotshot Steven Donziger's ass is in a sling alright. Ecuador's $19 billion Chevron scam mastermind owes millions in unpaid legal fees to attorneys in...
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Funny story:  Owning a dog good for the heart: RISK

Owning a dog good for the heart: RISK

New studies have shown that owning a dog can be good for your heart, but has the risk of exposing you to malodorous digestive byproducts commonly produced in the large intestine when certain bacteria are present in combination with certain foodstuffs...
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Funny story:  Red Sox Suffer from Junk DNA

Red Sox Suffer from Junk DNA

Before you get your knickers in a twist, we will not expose the Red Sox junk this time. Science has just learned that the Boston baseball team has over 98% of useless DNA. Most teams like the Yankees have cut their useless DNA to a minimum, but th...
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Funny story:  'CIA has played a counter-intelligence blinder' says Mossad bureau chief

'CIA has played a counter-intelligence blinder' says Mossad bureau chief

Pyongyang - The arrest of alleged CIA spy Ryan Fogle in a Moscow sting op has seen Mossad's top North Korea desk intelligence officer piss herself with laughter at the ploy. "Some audacity of dope, eh?" Commander Ziva Davide [no relation] chuckle...
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Funny story:  The Texas Nude Maid Service Is Booming!

The Texas Nude Maid Service Is Booming!

LUBBOCK - The Giddy Up Public Opinion Poll Company of Kalamazoo, Michigan, has just announced that The Texas Nude Maid Service, (formerly known as The Woman's Touch Maid Service) which is headquartered in Lubbock, Texas has become one of the fastest...
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Funny story:  Jack Nicholson Wants To Buy The Los Angeles Lakers

Jack Nicholson Wants To Buy The Los Angeles Lakers

LOS ANGELES - Academy Award winner Jack Nicholson is still quite upset at the fact that his all-time favorite team, the Los Angeles Lakers got swept in the first round of the Western Conference playoffs by the San Antonio Spurs 4 games to none. He...
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Funny story:  Another blow for the Spanish Armada

Another blow for the Spanish Armada

Spain - Last week Spain's King Juan Carlos spoke about a horrid sinking feeling he'd had after being persuaded to return the keys of his beloved taxpayer-funded £18 million floating gin palace Fortuna. Today another blow befell the mighty House o...
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Funny story:  Queen Elizabeth Is Very Unhappy With Kate Middleton

Queen Elizabeth Is Very Unhappy With Kate Middleton

LONDON - Queen Elizabeth has said that she will not tolerate anyone in the royal family not adhering to established royal protocol. Reports out of Buckhouse AKA Buckingham Palace state that the 87-year-old gal is sick and tired of reading about he...
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Funny story:  France Announces That The Eiffel Tower Will Become A Clothes-Optional Landmark

France Announces That The Eiffel Tower Will Become A Clothes-Optional Landmark

PARIS - France's national news agency Le News Agency has just announced a new French law that will take effect on Tuesday, May 28. Gigi de Maupassant, a reporter for Le News stated that due to the declining number of tourists visiting the world fa...
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Funny story:  Paper Plane's Protracted Problems Persist

Paper Plane's Protracted Problems Persist

The new Boing Night-Terrors airliner continues to be plagued by major technical faults. One was diverted to Denver International for an emergency landing yesterday. A fire in the tail section was the cause this time. Terrified passengers escaped from...
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Funny story:  USAID gives $625,000 to Cherie Blair cha-ri-dee 'to help African women set up own mobile hacking scams'

USAID gives $625,000 to Cherie Blair cha-ri-dee 'to help African women set up own mobile hacking scams'

Washington - The niche funding opportunity arose following the collapse of Rupert Murdoch's NewsCorpse Inc's controversial off-piste news gathering superstructure. Fierce lobbying by daft Scouser Cherry Bush saw the USAID slush fund run by Hillary...
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Funny story:  Hydrogen peroxide leaking from Internationl Space Station beauty salon

Hydrogen peroxide leaking from Internationl Space Station beauty salon

Space - "Luckily the salon had just completed its last anal bleaching job," ISS spokesperson Maj Dmitry Dumpkoff commented, "before a rupture sent millions of gallons of hydrogen peroxide into outer space." The mishap occurred shortly after this m...
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Funny story:  President Obama Says Lindsay Lohan Texted Him Asking That He Issue A Rehab Clinic Pardon

President Obama Says Lindsay Lohan Texted Him Asking That He Issue A Rehab Clinic Pardon

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama held a White House press conference to inform the news media on the upcoming Health Care reforms that deal with American citizens over the age of 90. After he covered that subject he was asked if the rumor that h...
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Funny story:  Archaeologists Discover Ancient Frozen Pizzas

Archaeologists Discover Ancient Frozen Pizzas

Pizzas that were frozen during the Little Ice Age centuries ago have been discovered in Northern Europe. Papa John Piloe and his team of archaeologists raced against the clock recently to collect the ancient pizzas exposed from rapidly melting ice i...
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Funny story:  Feds lay a trap for Boston Bombers' mysterious 'Ginger Ayatollah' pal

Feds lay a trap for Boston Bombers' mysterious 'Ginger Ayatollah' pal

New York - Known only by his Agent Orange moniker the red haired plotter in cahoots with the Tsaranev Brothers is believed to be high up on the FBI's Most Wanted list. This Wednesday he's scheduled to play at a Connecticut fun raiser polo match fo...
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Funny story:  Mark Knopfler arrested for inappropriate remarks

Mark Knopfler arrested for inappropriate remarks

Police have announced today that as part of the ongoing investigations into inappropriate behaviour of celebrities during the 70s and 80s that Mark Knopfler, lead singer and guitarist of the rock band Dire Straits, is the latest to be arrested. "A...
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Funny story:  Pyongyang News says Kate baby's gone down the pan

Pyongyang News says Kate baby's gone down the pan

North Korea - 'Princess Kate water birth goes tragically wrong' was the headline on Pyongyang News Tonite** as the North Korean national broadcaster played film footage of a baby 'flushed down the pan'. Notoriously picky about which news stories t...
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Funny story:  LeBron James Explains His Cleveland Cavaliers Comment

LeBron James Explains His Cleveland Cavaliers Comment

CHICAGO - The Miami Heat had just beaten the Chicago Bulls 104-94 to take a 2 to 1 lead in the Eastern Conference playoffs when Mr. Heat himself, LeBron James was asked a question in the visiting team's locker room. Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Il...
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Funny story:  Kate Middleton garden gnome caught in lewd shagging act at Chelsea Flower Show

Kate Middleton garden gnome caught in lewd shagging act at Chelsea Flower Show

London - The Queen's practically had a heart attack at the news that a Kate Middleton garden gnome 'looking like it had swallowed a mouthful' was found in a state of flagrente delicto at a Chelsea Flower Show preview party. Modeled on pregnant roy...
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Funny story:  Ecuador's state-of-the-art satellite is toast

Ecuador's state-of-the-art satellite is toast

Space - Named after the ancient Greek divine winged stallion Pegasus the 1.2kg nano-satellite got itself into a spot of bother following a smash-up with an orbiting cold war Soviet space snooper. Launched on 25 April from the Chinese spaceport of...
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Funny story:  Malingering Queen ducks State Opening of Parliament, sends blow-up lookalike doll instead

Malingering Queen ducks State Opening of Parliament, sends blow-up lookalike doll instead

London - Wednesday's state ceremony will feature a remote controlled latex mannequin whose batteries are powered by low-emission biofuel gas. "Who cares if it looks like Abu Hamza in drag, eh?" Prince Philip chuckled as Palace puppeteers finalized...
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Funny story:  Mr Blobby arrested on suspicion of offenses carried out in 1990s

Mr Blobby arrested on suspicion of offenses carried out in 1990s

Star of Noel Edmonds' Saturday night show "Noel's house party", Mr Blobby, has been arrested by detectives from Operation Yewtree on suspicion of a string of offenses carried out during the 1990s. Several allegations against the bulbous pink star...
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Funny story:  Jon Bon Jovi Dispels The Rumors of Why Richie Sambora Left The Band

Jon Bon Jovi Dispels The Rumors of Why Richie Sambora Left The Band

NEW YORK CITY - There has been all kinds of speculation as to why long time Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora has left the band. Band leader Jon Bon Jovi has tried to make it seem like it is a personal problem insinuating that perhaps Richie is de...
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton Proud of Her New Erotic Video

Paris Hilton Proud of Her New Erotic Video

LAS VEGAS - One of Tinsel Town's most infamous celebutantes, Paris Hilton was in Vegas playing the roulette wheels which she says she absolutely loves. She had actually managed to win $173 which she said she would be donating to Michelle Obama's A...
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Funny story:  Health and safety update the banned list

Health and safety update the banned list

Britain's Health and Safety Executive have recently updated their banned list or household items that are no longer allowed in public buildings. "The first item on the latest list," said Daisy Bump, chairman of the H&SE, "is welcome mats. Thes...
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Funny story:  Attorney General Holder orders America to turn itself in

Attorney General Holder orders America to turn itself in

Washington, DC -- The Obama Administration's top lawman has officially arrested the entire population of the United States. In an unprecedented Justice Department directive, Attorney General Eric Holder outlined a plan to imprison every American...
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Funny story:  Pills Are Us reveals new product

Pills Are Us reveals new product

It has finally happened, and we knew it would The APA, American Pharmaceutical Association, revealed today that "Pills Are Us," a pharmaceutical company in Southbend, Oregon, which is just South of Bend, Oregon, after seven years of exhaustive res...
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Funny story:  HoHo's under fire

HoHo's under fire

Gerald Reisenback, once the Production Coordinator at the Hostess Bakery Plant in Hot Springs, Arkansas, revealed during an employment interview with Homeland Security in Washington, D.C. that since the last HoHo was produced in the plant his life ha...
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Funny story:  Scotland could take UK's place in the EU, says SNP

Scotland could take UK's place in the EU, says SNP

A spokesman for the Scottish National Party has suggested that if Scotland becomes independent from the rest of the UK next year, and if the rest of the UK wants to leave the EU, then it would make sense for Scotland to take over the UK's seat in the...
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Funny story:  Tiger Woods Shocked To Hear That His New Blonde Girlfriend Lindsey Vonn May Be Dumping Him Soon

Tiger Woods Shocked To Hear That His New Blonde Girlfriend Lindsey Vonn May Be Dumping Him Soon

INDIANAPOLIS - Tiger Woods had just finished playing 18 holes at the Indianapolis Invitational when he was asked about the Lindsey Vonn rumor. Woods still had the putter in his hand as he was taken aback by the question. Sports Territory Magazi...
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