The Spoof : Jan 2013 spoof news stories

Taylor Swift Says She's Never Ever Gonna Stop Writing Songs About Her Ex-Boyfriends

BOISE, Idaho - Taylor Swift was a big hit with the concert goers at her latest performance which took place in The Mashed Potatoes Arena in Boise. The young 23-year-old country singer performed six encores and told the crowd that she thanked them...

New Gun Control Ideas Are 'Run Up the Flagpole'

Washington DC -- The presidential task force to control gun violence is floating several ideas through the national media to get public reaction before it releases its final report. Panel head Vice President Joe Biden put it this way: "Before we g...

A List of Celebrities Who Have Already Broken Their 2013 New Year's Resolutions

Noted author Edgar Allan Poe once said that rules are made to be broken. And he should know since he had a history of breaking all kinds of rules, regulations, guidelines, and basic metaphorical musings. Poe, whose real name was Bernardo Chang Poetic, once told a reporter with the Milwaukee Morning Mentioner, that he loved the word photosynthesis, and he tried to incorporate it into everything...

A List of Some License Plate Slogans For 2013

The United States Commission on State License Plate Slogan Approval has just announced a list of ten brand new automotive license plate slogans for 2013. Winnie Leona "Tags" Tagliobissi, the commission's executive director, informed the news media that, unlike previous years, none of the submitted slogans were rejected due to either vulgarity, racism, use of foreign words, or improper grammar.

Colorado Opens Up Hundreds of Pot Parks

DENVER - A new meaning has just been given to the old John Denver song "Rocky Mountain High." Since the state's voters voted to make marijuana legal, literally tens of thousands of young people have moved to The Rocky Mountain State from such plac...

PETA Furious About Iran Launching A Monkey Into Outer Space

NORFOLK, Virginia - There are an awful lot of unhappy folks at the organization known as PETA, which stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. The group's Executive Director Mimosa Ledbetter sent an email to the Iranian Assistant Def...

Justin Bieber Explains The Pot Photo: I Was Just Holding It For A Friend

HOLLYWOOD - Many of Tinsel Town's entertaiment publications and news agencies are beginning to refer to Justin Bieber as the Male Version of Lindsay Lohan. The 18-year-old Canadian singer has apparently decided that he would much rather travel in...

Trillion Dollar Coin Lost Down The Back Of Sofa

The Treasury Department who could have averted a standoff over the debt ceiling by minting a cure-all trillion-dollar coin have admitted that they have lost the coin after a worker took the coin home to show his kids. It is believed the coin was...

Lance Armstrong Ordered To Be Oprah's Pedicab Rider

In what many are calling a harsh punishment, disgraced cheater and confirmed liar, bully, twat and complete and utter bastard, Lance Armstrong, has been court ordered to pedal Oprah Winfrey around for 3 months as her personal pedicab driver. Some,...

Idaho Bars The Term Couch Potato

BOISE, Idaho - The state of Idaho has finally enacted legislation that will ban the national term Couch Potato from being spoken anywhere in the state. Senator Panola Lulu Saddlebread, 43, of Blackfoot, told a gathering of the Idaho news media tha...

Kathy Griffin Says She May Have Ungayed Anderson Cooper on National Television

NEW YORK CITY - Kathy Griffin co-hosting the New Year's Eve celebration with Anderson Cooper on CNN certainly gave out the New Year's kisses heard round the world. In a move that even stunned and shocked the long time fans of the comedian known as...

Rhode Island Places Strict Restrictions On Attack Hamsters

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island - According to recent government studies, the state of Rhode Island has more hamsters than any other state in the entire United States. Professor Saxton B. Funderburken, head of the Agriculture Department at Chicken of the...

Britney Spears Is Very Upset With Beyonce

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The recently fired X-Factor judge Britney Spears is reportedly extremely angry at fellow singer Beyonce. The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle is reporting that Spears told The Views Whoopi Goldberg that she does not appreciate Beyon...

Savvy Shoppers Saving At Checkout By Peeling Fruit And Vegetables Prior To Purchasing - But Grocery Stores Express Concern

Thrifty shoppers spurred by the growing economic downturn are finding new ways to save mega bucks at the grocery store checkout; however some stores claim that the "penny wise" consumers may see an increase in prices should supermarkets be forced to...

NASA Purchases Inflatable Room for Use in Space: What's It For?

As soon as spoof science reporter Gail Farrelly read the article, "International Space Station Will Get First Inflatable Addition" in Florida Today, she launched an investigation into this very unusual contract deal. She'd like to find out how the a...

NASCAR'S Danica Patrick Denies The Derek Hough Rumors

AMARILLO, Texas - NASCAR race driver Danica Patrick was in the Texas panhandle visiting one of her cousins identified as Aspen Loopkinlocker. Recent reports have stated that Danica's marriage has hit a big oil spill and her #10 race car is spinnin...

The U.S. Government To Outlaw Liposuction

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a move that has long been overdue, the government of the United States has moved to outlaw the weight loss program of liposuction. A spokesperson for the U.S. Department of Weight, Darth S. Clutterbuck, stated to the news med...

Not ALL Cats Killing Billions Of Animals Claims Baltimore Man

Recent reports that cats are one of the top threats to US wildlife, killing billions of animals each year, have been dismissed as "utter crap" by Baltimore man Brendan Packham. Researchers had estimated that cats are responsible for the deaths of...

Iowa Bans Tongue Wrestling

DES MOINES - The senate of the state of Iowa has finally passed a bill that was first proposed two months ago. State Senator Claudette Cora Wonderwillow, 53, of Sioux City, introduced the bill which is listed as TW Bill 01 (Tongue Wrestling Bill 0...

A Dog Is NOT Mans Best Friend Claims Inbred Redneck Man

Good ole' boy Lee Perkins, card carrying member of the NRA and secret cross dresser, claims he is sick and tired of folk telling him that mans best friend is a dog, despite he himself owning several well trained, obedient and loyal canines. "It is...

Illegal Aliens Are Now Being Shot Out Of A Circus Cannon From Mexico Into The USA

EL PASO - In an item that qualifies for the Just When You Thought You'd Heard It All Department comes some astounding news from the city country music singer Marty Robbins sang about in his hit "El Paso." A member of the United States Border Patro...

$Funny story: Frickin' frackin' hell: plot to exhume Jane Fonda$

Frickin' frackin' hell: plot to exhume Jane Fonda

Glendale, California - Cemetery officials have applied to move the dual Oscar winning actress' remains from Glendale's famous Forest Lawn Mammorial Park. An exhumation order sought from the Glendale C**nty Morgue Chief Coroner is backed by Big Oil...

$View 'Frickin' frackin' hell: plot to exhume Jane Fonda'$

Jesse James shoots Ned Kelly!

Ned Kelly, Irish-catholic, Australian rebel and bandit has just been buried after he lost a shoot-out with Jesse James in heaven. The whole thing started after a fight in a saloon called "Heaven and Hell Whores and Nuns". Jesse called Ned an Irish...

The World's Smallest Owl

TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - An Alabama forest ranger has just discovered what is believed to be the smallest owl in history. Ranger Cunningham Quickquibble, said that he was patrolling an isolated area of The Cornbread State Forest when he heard what so...

Prison Overcrowding Solution Creates Controversy in Alabama

With prisons and jails full to bursting point the state of Alabama has come up with a novel way of releasing criminals back into society earlier than their initial sentences demanded. While not classed as parole the idea, the brainchild of The Ala...

New iPhone App Makes Congress More Responsive

Washington DC - Americans may soon be using their smart phones to force the Federal government to be more sensitive to their needs and opinions. The new, higher level of democracy comes thanks to a recently introduced iPhone app, called Voter A...

Tom Brady Promises That The New England Patriots Will Win This Year's Super Bowl

NEW YORK CITY - Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and his high heel shoe model wife Gisele were in the Big Apple doing some post-Christmas shopping. Tom said that his wife had picked up a great deal on some imported Icelandic hand mittens and he had...

Clint Eastwood To Star In A Gun Control Commercial

HOLLYWOOD - In a surprise move that even surprised his own wife, noted Tinsel Town tough guy, Clint Eastwood has agreed to star in a commercial for gun control. Eastwood was approached by a national group who asked him if he would agree to make th...

Can Wearing Feathers Help to Attract the Opposite Sex?

Hey, it worked for burlesque queens. Even more surprising, though, apparently it also worked for dinosaurs, according to recent scientific research. And as soon as these findings regarding dinosaurs were released, there were lots of interesti...

Paris Hilton Talks About Her Nude Calendar

BEVERLY HILLS - Paris Hilton was in the Haven of Hair Salon getting her split ends taken care of. As she sat in her chair she noticed that there was a copy of her brand new 2013 Paris Hilton Nude Calendar sitting on top of a Cosmopolitan Magazine.

Gisele Bünchen-Brady Says The New England Patriots Will Beat The Baltimore Ravens By 29 points

BRENTWOOD, California - Gisele Bünchen, the outspoken wife of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, was lying out by the pool at their $20 million mansion, which she named Casa Touchdown. The infamous underwear model was speaking with Dottie Bazooka of...

Hangover's Ken Jeong To Star In "Manti Te'o - The Mama of All Hoaxes"

HOLLYWOOD - Word out of Tinsel Town is that famed Italian director Bellanino Terrabini has just agreed to direct the new Tri-Moon Productions film Manti Te'o - The Mama of All Hoaxes. The movie deals with Manti Malietau Louis Elmer Te'o, a Samoan-...

New York Mob Boss Talks About Gun Control

BROOKLYN - Salvatore Goombalini, head of the notorious Goombalini Family, has stated his opinion on gun control. The mafioso whose business card reads: Goombalini's Restaurant Supplies, commented to Sinclair Petaluma with Political Salad Bar Magaz...

America Replaces Coins With Cons To Fix The Debt Disaster

Washington DC - Forget about trillion dollar coins. A request by President Obama for new ways to pay off the national debt has prompted an avalanche of better scams and more sophisticated innovations designed to rescue America from bankruptcy. In...

Obama responds to Chuck Hagel rumors with crafty ringtone message

Washington AC/DC - "Either our Commander-in-Chief has gone completely doolally," former US Senator from Nebraska Chuck Hagel said today, "or I'm misinterpretatin' the subtlety of his response!" The comments come amid reports that Hagel is in shock...

Arkansas Orders All Full Frontal Female Nudity Men's Magazines Burned

LITTLE ROCK - Several Arkansas citizens action groups have threatened to protest in the nude in order to bring attention to the out-of-control publication and distribution of X-rated men's magazines showing full frontal female nudity. Mavis Lorett...

A World War II Japanese Two-Man Sub Found In Lake Erie

CLEVELAND - A member of the Ohio Military Historical Society has just announced an unbelievable announcement. Speaking before the monthly meeting of the OMHS, Executive Director Mervin W. Kiddlefuddle, 61, stated that a couple of scuba divers from...

NASA blow-up dolls for inflatable space station module

Pasadena, Ca - "Just a couple of big breaths should get these babes going," the head of NASA's Jet Convulsion Laboratory said today, "so long as you don't have an allergy to rubber or speak with a lithp - er...lisp!" News of the delivery was welco...

Rihanna and Chris Brown Say They're Happier Than Most Couples

CHICAGO - Rihanna and her former boyfriend Chris Brown were recently spotted at the Windy City's infamous Crocked Crocodile Club having a fine old time giggling, laughing, and touching each others privates. Several patrons reported that the pair o...

Playing If Only With the Boston Celtics…

The Boston Celtics have been on the receiving end of less abuse than Hillary Clinton for her concussion, flu, and blood clot. And, the Celtics suffer only apathy, softness of heart, and colorful sneakers. If the Celtics were liberal politicians, t...

Kansas Votes To Prohibit The Use of The Term Ménage à Trois

TOPEKA - After a heated debate that lasted six hours, the Kansas State Senate has voted 21 to 19 to prohibit the use of the French sexual term Ménage à Trois. Senator Agatha Tarbutton, 71, of Wichita, initially made the proposal after she was at a...

City to install airbags in downtown lampposts to protect texting pedestrians

The city council last night voted to spend $250,000 to install automotive-type airbags on all downtown lampposts. The decision came after hundreds of pedestrians have been injured over the past few years while inadvertently walking into posts wh...

New Study Reveals That New Studies Really Not That Informative

A recent study conducted at the University of Georgia concluded that new studies are really not that informative and that those who study studies, though studious, studied too much. Speaking from his study, Professor Jason Barlow, who boasts an im...

Lady Gaga's New Year's Resolution

NEW YORK CITY - All of the Times Square New Year's Eve confetti and streamers have long been swept away by the NYC sanitation workers and the fireworks smoke has dissipated out over the Nova Scotia coastline. And Lady Gaga once again has sat down...

Food Painting Industry In Danger As People Take To Social Media To Show Off Favorite Foods

New research from the University of Miami suggests that the food painting industry stands on the brink of extinction, as people have found much easier and more timely ways of showing the world what they're eating by simply posting it to Twitter or In...

The Lone Bradley and Rajon Tonto!

Amid a cloud of dust with a hearty hi-yo, can Avery Bradley be forever riding the canyons looking for law-breakers? It was months ago that Bradley was ambushed by two shoulders on the side of the road. Left for dead, he has been healing by a myste...

After The NBA Season Ends - The Lakers Will Star In A New Reality TV Show

LOS ANGELES - Well it appears that the owner of The Los Angeles Lakers, Jerry Buss, has finally figured it out. He has contacted Tansinella Wickovich, a spokesperson with The Epitome Television Network, and plans are in the works to have the curre...

The TSA Says Bye-Bye To Airport Body Scanners

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After embarrassing millions of airport travelers, the Transportation Security Administration has announced that within five months all airport full-body scanners will be unplugged and removed from all of the nation's airports. T...

US Pasta A Hit In Iran

Pasta made in the United States is going down very well in Iran according to news media outlets, with Iranian supermarkets and grocery stores signing an 8 year deal to ensure that US made pasta stays in the country for the foreseeable future. Acco...

Downton Abbey's Stock Falls Off the Fiscal Cliff

Living in a large country house in England in 1920 apparently is not much different than living in a large white house in Washington, D.C., in 2013. A fiscal cliff seems to be around the corner for old Downton, where the best offering from a rich...

Budget airline claim Iceland are to blame for volcanic eruption!

Cheap and nasty airline, R++n++r, have been ordered to pay compensation to their passengers that were grounded during the Icelandic eruption of the volcano, Eyjafjallajokull, not Bjork. Airline boss, Michael O'Leprechaun (name changed for illegal...

Boston Celtics Massacre Around the Corner from TD Garden

After another deplorable game in which half the team chose to send in a sleep-walking proxy, coach Doc Rivers has had enough. The firing squad is warming up. Threats now have turned on a wholesale slaughter of the guilty and the innocent. If Doc g...

First pics of Hillary's 'bloody clot' released

New York - "And it's a big one," Dr Heemer Globin, Emeritus Professor of Experimental Lobotomy - er...Phlebotomy! - at New York's Seedy Sign-I Clinic said today as images of the pesky clot went viral in the blogosphere. The Manhattan blood-thinnin...

The Super Bowl Committee Has Banned The Jenny McCarthy Commercial For Paul Bunyan Condoms

NEW YORK CITY - Hollywood celebrity Jenny McCarthy is reportedly fit to be tied after hearing that her 30 second Super Bowl commercial has been dropped from the list of Super Bowl advertisements. According to Clarice Belle Terracutler, an assistan...

President Obama and The First Mama Attend A Hip Hop Concert

DETROIT - President Barack Obama was the guest speaker at The 30th Annual Hip Hop Concert and Dinner which was held at Detroit's Carburetor Coliseum. The president and the First Mama took in the sounds of such noted hip hop and rap artists as The...

Eugenics professor hires Pippa Middleton to give birth to world's second human-Yeti hybrid

Cambridge, Massachusetts - "Sure wish it was the world's first human-Sasquatch cross," Prof Joseph Mengele-Flintstone said today, "unfortunately that hybrid's already gestating inside Pippa's sister Kate according to reports." The famous US Poison...

Bashar al-Assad has no kingdom to rule

A study commissioned by UN human rights commissioner has determined that Bashers al-Assad no longer has a kingdom to rule over after wiping out 60,000 innocent human beings. Al-Assad has created a legacy of anguish and sadness that will haunt his dec...

Starbucks to add Starbucks Kiosks inside Starbucks stores

Starbucks announced today they will begin adding Starbucks kiosks inside all of their stores. Said Starbucks spokesman Arbus "Bob" Verberner: "We already have kiosks in nearly every airport, train station and supermarket in the country as we...

Demi Moore Finds Yet Another Boy Toy

BEVERLY HILLS - One thing that can be said about Demi Moore is that the 50-year-old cougar does not seem to have any problem attracting males who are young enough to be her son. Moore, who is still not divorced from Ashton Kutcher, was recently sp...

Spoof Editor ups the ante with $100 message charging

London - Writers hoping to contact elusive billionaire Spoof website owner Mark Lowton got a shock this morning when the new messaging service fee came into effect. The measure is thought to be a practical solution to the thousands of cyber beggin...

Oprah extracts the truth out of Lance Armstrong; "it was that damn bum cream" he claims

Oprah Winfrey has interviewed Lance Armstrong in a 2 hour session that is due to be sent out on US TV in two parts. Oprah took on the assignment because behind the Armstrong charade she believed there is a real person sitting on his saddle and not a...

Ban On Cinemas, Malls And Schools Comes Into Force In Small Floridian Town

A ban on schools, cinemas and malls came into force midnight Friday in the small town of Overreact in Florida in what many are calling a "brave" move, others calling it "just stupid". Despite incurring the wrath of shoppers, movie lovers, schoolch...

Baby Showers Banned In Massachusetts Until Further Notice

STOUGHTON, Massachusetts - Members of the Stoughton Police Department are still shaking their heads over the free-for-all melee that took place at a baby shower which was being held at The Clam Chowder Club in downtown Stoughton. SPD Spokesperson...

New York Jets Coach Rex Ryan Gets To Keep His Job

NEW YORK CITY - Many hardcore Jets fans were stunned to hear that Coach Rex Ryan managed to get by Black Monday without losing his job. In fact Las Vegas oddsmakers were giving 3 to 1 odds that Coach "Footsie" Ryan would be turning in the key to h...

Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow Could Both Be Going To The Washington Redskins

NEW YORK CITY - Word coming out of the New York Jets front office is that there is a deal in the works that would send quarterbacks Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow to the Redskins for Kirk Cousins. An inside source who would only give his initials - P.

Congress to Star in a Super Bowl Commercial

Hollywood - Faced with the lowest approval rating in the history of approval ratings, the United States Congress plans to promote itself with a television ad produced specifically to run during the Super Bowl. "Everybody keeps making fun of us," c...

FIFA To Ban Flares At All Soccer Games

FIFA, the World governing body of soccer, announced today an immediate ban on flares at all World Cup matches, stating the ban was long overdue. With the 2014 World Cup set to be staged in Brazil many see the ban as not only ensuring a safer envir...

Pluto still angry about being downgraded from planet to icy dwarf

Although it's been nearly seven years since the status of Pluto was changed from a planet to an icy dwarf, hard feelings remain. "Hey, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune are just big gasballs--at least I'm 70-percent rock," complained Pluto.

Miley Cyrus Has A Crush On Taylor Swift's Ex-Boyfriend Harry Styles

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Miley Cyrus has revealed to an entertainment news reporter that she has a crush on Taylor Swift's latest member of The Taylor Swift Ex-Boyfriend's Club, Harry Styles, of the boy band One Direction. Cyrus, who is engaged to down u...

Twitter Birdies Plan D. C. Flyover for Inauguration Day

Monday, January 21, will be a very special day for Twitter birdies in the U.S. Many of them have told management that they are taking the day off to participate in the public inauguration of President Barack Obama in Wash., D. C. A patriotic "fly...

Kirstie Alley Upset At Explicit Pix

TIJUANA, Mexico - Two time Dancing With The Stars contestant Kirstie Alley took a shopping trip down to Tijuana to pick up some Sponge Bob Square Pants piñatas for a neighbor's little girl. While walking around the market place Kirstie received lo...

Teenage pregnancy plummets as Facebumping hits an all time high

Tallahassee, FL- Mike Shoemaker, PR director for the Florida Department of Health, reported today that teen pregnancy had dropped nearly 50% and the rate of STDs have dropped nearly 70% over the last 15 months! The teens of Florida have turned...

NRA Head LaPierre Fits Profile of 'Lone Gunman' Reports FBI

Wayne LaPierre, notorious leader of the gun cult religion known as the NRA, is under investigation by the FBI as fitting the profile of the notorious 'lone gunman' so prevalent in modern American literature and films. His stoney faced demeanor, extre...

That Was One Mad As Hell Neutered Great Dane!

MUNCIE, Indiana - In an unbelievable turn of events, Clover Q. Chitterling of Muncie took his 187-pound Great Dane Mr. Bruiser to get neutered. And what occurred afterward was simply astounding. Mr. Chitterling, who is an unemployed private invest...

Giant Rodent Infestation Causing Anxiety In Florida

A central Florida community has launched citizen patrols after reports that giant sized rodents had been spotted in several locations, striking fear into the hearts of townsfolk. The first sighting of the massive rodent, which some described as 'h...

Gun Crime Violators To Have Trigger Fingers Amputated

In a bold move President Obama announced today that anyone caught in possession of an unlicensed firearm will have their trigger fingers amputated without any court proceedings. Police in several states have already been issued with special kniv...

Elin Nordegren Tells Ex-Hubby Tiger Woods: Been There, Done That

NEW YORK CITY - Tiger Woods was sitting by himself at the prestigious Intoxicated Iguana Bar in New York City when he was approached by a reporter. Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors asked him if she could have a few words with him and the man whose re...

Prince Charles "Immensely Proud" Of Prince Harry - So Is His Father

Prince Charles is said to be "immensely proud" of third in line to the British throne, Prince Harry, telling friends that the young Prince is nothing short of a hero and proudly stands for all things British. Equally praising is Prince Harry's fathe...

Republicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP) Speaker of the House John Boehner,(R-Hooterville) addressed thousands of chilled but thrilled supporters of abortion prohibition who had gathered along the Mall in frigid weather to attend the annual "March for Life" protest Fri...

D'jango (the D is silent) Action Figures Cause Negative Uproar

The Weinstein Co and toy maker NECA are selling slavery-era action figures based on the characters from Quentin Tarantino's latest picture D'jango (the D is silent) Unchained. Some are questioning if this is appropriate in this day of enlightenmen...

Some of The Winners of The 39th Annual Peoples Choice Award

LOS ANGELES - The 39th Annual Peoples Choice Awards Show was held at The Nokia Theater and it went on as planned even though sources said some executives wanted the show postponed due to the strike by The Seat Fillers Union of California. Seat fil...

Manti Te'o Falls Off Banana Boat

Only now can the shocking truth be revealed. Manti Te'o is a creation of social media. He does not really exist. His play for Notre Dame has been revealed as a giant Photoshop hoax. Most of his game appearances have been labeled photo bombs. CIA s...

Teenage Boy Opens Fire on Wayne LaPierre and Sean Hannity

National Rifle Association CEO and gun-rights martyr Wayne LaPierre likely was not expecting to be shot at as he celebrated the day after Gun Appreciation Day by shooting off his mouth with Sean Hannity on the Fox Comedy Network. LaPierre said he...

Christina Aguilera Drained and Despondent

LAS VEGAS - Christina flew to Las Vegas to get away from all of the hustle and bustle of LaLaLand. She checked into The The Ali Baba and The 40 Thieves Hotel & Casino, where she had a great time at the roulette wheel. Tittle Tattle Tonight...

Controversial Drug X-9 Yomide Being Removed From Popular Sports Drink

NEW YORK CITY - The Crocodile Sports Drink Company of Bedford-Stuyvesant, New York, has issued a statement saying it will soon be removing a highly controversial ingredient from its line of energy sports drinks. Sahara Sara Serpentulli, spokespers...

Rajon Rondo Injured - The Boston Celtics Playoff Hopes Appear To Be Gone With The Wind

BOSTON - Several sports reporters are saying that Rajon Rondo's injury is yet another example of the Boston Tri-Curses. Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily stated that it appears to be a sign of The Curse of The Bambino. He also adde...

Mona Lisa spliff crop circle appears on face of the Moon

Washington - International Space Station crop circle etchers behind a 200ft crop circle near Stonehenge, Wiltshire depicting ET smoking a classic ganja pipe appear to have struck again tonight. Their antics were widely reported in 2011 by QM-News...

Lance Armstrong and Roger Clemens Going Into Business Together

CHICAGO - It appears that two of the sports world's fallen figures have announced plans for a new business venture. Lance Armstrong, the lying road racing cyclist champion and Roger Clemens, the lying baseball pitcher recently met at The Crocked C...

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Are Shopping For Wedding Cakes

NEW ORLEANS - After waiting one full year for his wife (Demi Moore) to file for divorce, Ashton Kutcher has finally taken it upon himself to hit his soon-to-be-ex-wife with divorce papers. Kutcher who is 34, had said that he was in hopes that Moor...

Selena Gomez Says Justin Bieber Is History

CHICAGO - Selena Gomez traveled to Chicago to visit an old high school friend. While in the Windy City, she was asked by Hollywood Innuendo's Margarita Mixx how she was doing now that her and Justin Bieber are no longer an item. Selena smiled a...

The God of Data - A Lesson From the Book of Dataronomy

And the God of Data sat on his heavenly throne and he looked down upon the world of education and he said, "They know not what they do" And lo, the God of Data said, "I shall create a new world of education and it shall be created in five days, like what there are in a school week. And on the first day the God of Data created targets so that all of the children could be numbered to be judged on...

Ian Somerhalder, Nina Dobrev, and A Confused Fan

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The stars of The Vampire Diaries Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder were recently seen having a great time at The Tipsy Tadpole Lounge in West Hollywood. The Tipsy Tadpole is the favorite haunt of many noted Tinsel Town celebrities i...

Americans, Driven Mad By Politics, Jump Like Lemmings Over The Fiscal Cliff

Driven to the brink of their sanity by the constant warnings from politicians over what would happen if we went over the fiscal cliff thousands of Americans have gone ahead and jumped over the brink of the fiscal cliff on their own. Still reeling fro...

Funny story: Robotics Company to Manufacture Androids

Spoof news stories from January 2013

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