Spoof news stories from Monday 18 February 2013
Khloe Kardashian Fired From X-Factor
HOLLYWOOD - Well it appears that T-Shirt Man AKA Simon Cowell, has struck again and this time he has dropped the X-Factor hammer on the shows co-host Khloe Kardashian.
Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that Khloe, 28, was having lunch with her hu...
Kat Von D Admits She Wants Jesse James Back
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Kat Von D was in West Holly visiting the most famous tattoo artist in the country, Sawyer "The Needleman" Frazzlewater.
Frazzlewater has tattooed some of the most famous celebrities on both coasts.
He has given Kat some of her...
Cruise Lines Agree on Regulatory Body
CEO's of the worlds cruise lines announced their cooperation with a newly empowered regulatory agency.
"Maritime law and international waters have made a regulatory agency nearly impossible to form. That is why the top cruise lines have agreed to...
Local Spinster Finally Makes Up Her Mind About Presidential Vote
Philadelphia, PA-- Miss Vicky Smegma has finally decided who should be the next president of the United States. The neurotic spinster took a lot of time to make up her mind. She walked out into the cold February air this morning, satisfied she had...
Viagra Pill Sales Surpass M&M Sales
MIAMI - The Viagra Pill Board of America has just announced the results of a recent year-long research study.
Ibbie Loretta Whitevelvet, 57, a representative with VPB of A stated that after close to 3,000 hours of extensive study, her agency has l...
CIA Drone Blows Up Google Driverless Car
The CIA admitted today that one of their Predator drone aircraft fired a missile and destroyed a Google autonomous Prius late last week.
According to anonymous CIA insiders, the drone had taken off from a secret airfield in Saudi Arabia when it...
Bada Boom: Mafia Put in Charge of U.S. Drones
Washington, DC -- Under growing criticism for using remote-controlled aircraft to hunt down and kill suspected terrorists, the Defense Department has transferred its top-secret aerial assassination program to the Mafia.
"Anybody got any complaints...
Tiger Woods Helps President Obama Tee His Balls Up
BILLINGSGATE POST - While most White House correspondents were peeved because they were not allowed access to President Obama during his golf outing with Tiger Woods, your humble servant, Dr. Billingsgate, interviewed Barack Obama's caddie, Chauncy E...
The Britney Spears - Charlie Sheen Rumors Are Flying High
CUCAMONGA, California - The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle is reporting that Britney Spears and Charlie Sheen were recently spotted holding hands and engaging in a bit of tongue hockey at The La Brea Tar Pits.
Sheen who was recently seen with Krist...
Nebraska Groups Move To Ban Internet Porn
LINCOLN, Nebraska - There is presently a movement in the state of Nebraska to prevent the state's residents from viewing porn on the thousands and thousands of Internet porn sites.
Several groups are advocating the banning of these vulgarian sites...
Rihanna Says Chris Brown Did Not Cut Her On Her Knee
LONDON - Rihanna seems to love seeing herself and her name splashed all over the front pages of newspapers and magazines, and her latest incident will certainly not change a thing.
The 24-year-old singer was celebrating her brand new line of bruis...
Papped Kate baby scan pics posted online
Cyberspace - Bootleg online images of Kate Middleton's second trimester brat have been traced to London's Royal Freak Hospital's ultrasound department.
They show a previously unrecorded species gestating in her rent-a-bun-oven amid rumors that a m...
Justin Bieber Promises Blake Griffin He'll Get Out of The Fast Lane
VENICE BEACH - Justin Bieber was recently seen shopping for a Blake Griffin, Los Angeles Clippers Jersey at Seashell Sal's Sporting Stuff Shop.
Bieber has been a fan of the 6-foot-10-inch NBA player ever since he heard him mention on The View that...
Dave leaves it to Nick to explain
Days before an important by election cased by the humiliating resignations of the Lib Dem mainstay Chris Huhne the Prime Minister is to force Nick Clegg to explain why the UK joined Greece this week in becoming one of two first world countries where...
President Day Gift Ideas
As we celebrate Presidents Day and the traditional exchanging of gifts, applicable to our fine presidents, retail giant Wal-Mart has released it's list of best selling gifts that can be exchanged between friends and family.
Wal Mart customer, John...
The average Italian has no clue
29 percent of all Italians above the age of 16 have no clue, the highest score within the EU, a German research has concluded.
The European average of people who have no clue is 14 percent. The Italian man and women are respectively 22% and 36% cl...
God to Sue Pope Benedict for Breach of Contract
The Vatican has received Word from God that the Almighty is suing Pope Benedict XVI for breach of contract following the Pontiff's recent announcement that he will resign as head of the Catholic Church.
Vatican lawyers received the news in an epip...
Alfredo Aceves Appears on Game Show 'What's My Line?'
The more things change, the more the Sox remain unchanged.
Case in point: Alfredo Aceves has once again upset the apple cart of the Red Sox training camp where peace and harmony imitate Woodstock Nation for Red Sox Nation.
With everything swe...
Latest Vatican scandal: Pope Benedict accepts new religious leadership
Vatican City - A massive scandal broke at the Vatican less than two weeks away from a historic papal resignation. The Pope Benedict's personal yoga instructor has just revealed that the leader of the Catholic Church will become the leader of the Chur...
North Dakota Votes To Allow Concealed Handguns At Gun Shows
BISMARCK, North Dakota - The state's senior ranking senator, Tabor H. Fishfield [D-North Dakota] has managed to push through his latest state bill.
Senator Fishfield, who turned 80, on Valentine's Day, was successful in getting the bill known as T...
HOSGATE - the true scandal of the Coalition cover-up
News is breaking that the Health Secretary has been arrested after an undercover operation by Staffordshire Police working with the Met and Interpol. It has been alleged that recent stories regarding horsemeat in the foodchain and falling asteroids h...