WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has decided to sit out the upcoming presidential debates in lieu of an even bigger crowd-pleaser. Mitt will suit up the mitts to spar against--HIMSELF.
Video spots will be aired showing the Republican candidate s...
Hot on the heels of the news that headache tablets cause headaches, it turns out that hay fever tablets cause hay fever.
"I suppose the clue was always on the box," said Angie Benji, of the British Medical Institution. "It doesn't say 'Cures Heada...
Prince Charles and his wife Camilla will not be buying new clothes to take with them on their Diamond Jubilee touring holiday to Australia, New Zealand and Papua New Guinea this November. Instead they will be taking with them some of the clothes the...
Presidential hopeful, Mitt 'The Gaffe-Man' Romney has stuck his foot in his mouth again.
Speaking to a group of people paying $50,000 a plate (and $2 for tips) at a fund raising dinner, Romney said that 47 % of Americans are dependent on the gover...
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) After last week's leak of a Mitt Romney fundraiser speech that insulted nearly half of all voters by repeating a popular but fallacious far-right wing talking point, the campaign suffered another blow yesterday when a memo contain...
Bristol has launched its own currency, the Bristol pound, in an attempt to prevent money from flowing out of the area. A number of shops and businesses have signed up to the hare-brained scheme, and will accept Bristol pounds alongside the usual poun...
BILLINGSGATE POST - Al-Qaeda announced Wednesday it will close its embassy in France in fear of retaliation for the painting of a mustache on French first lady, Valerie Trierweiler, by Muslim artist Hakeem Hussien Obama, a distant relative of Barack...
LOS ANGELES - The Left Coast rumor mills are working overtime trying to sort out the ongoing Pattinson/Stewart story.
Tittle Tattle Tonight's Tapioca Swizzle is reporting that Kristen's hair stylist FuFi Fondue has suggested that K-Stew is sending...
SOUTH PARK COLORADO (ABSNN) - "Oh my God! They killed Kenny! Bastards," said a sobbing fifth grader at South Park Elementary School located in this fictional town.
In the wake of repeated calls for Federal action by a Fox News Host (whose name I...
A midnight screening of the 1985 American thriller film directed by Peter Weir and starring Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis, Witness, has ignited scenes of violence and rioting throughout the Amish community in various locations across the United St...
HOLLYWOOD - In a perfect example of the pot calling the kettle black, Tinsel Town starlet Lindsay Lohan has stated that she is trying to get her mom to enter into The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic.
Lindsay told Carolina Chipotle with Bedroo...
A UK comedy website has today announced that it will publish a story about Kate Middleton topless tomorrow morning.
This follows publication of pictures of the Duchess of Cambridge topless in publications in France, Ireland and Italy - and despite...
Intelligent Design, the theory that the world and everything on it was created by a Man with a Plan, has been overjoyed by the news that their tome, The ID Handbook, has been nominated for Fiction's Biggest Prize, the Booker Prize.
"We're overjoye...
George Entwhistle the newly appointed Director General of the BBC has released plans today to reboot classic sit-com 'Last of the Summer Wine.' He said at a press conference today: "The public love the new 'Dr Who' well old Who fans don't but who giv...
Washington - Global Piss Process activist Aung San Suu Kyi is to receive the Congressional Gold Medal for keeping her gob shut about being Sun Myung Moon's daughter 'and other horrid stuff'.
She'll pick up the gong from Secretary of State Hillary...
Prince William is barking mad because he says that the breasts of his wife, the former Kate Middleton, now known as the Duchess of Cambridge, are much larger than on the photos in the French magazine.
Our Buckingham Palace source, who wishes to re...
In an aside from legal wrangles in La Belle France, relating to a certain 'invasive photographic' orgy of unnecessary and quite pointless overexposure, which of course was lapped up by the French, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have been getting a...
Following the brutal killing of two young police officers in Manchester, a not insignificant number of Daily Mail readers have signalled their intention to campaign for the reinstatement of capital punishment.
Amongst comments left on the Mail's w...
LA BREA, California - Former President Bill Clinton was having dinner at The La Brea Tar Pits Diner with George Clooney and his stunning girlfriend Stacy Keibler.
According to an employee at the diner, Clooney asked the former president what he t...
Brooklyn--Less than five days after New York City's Board of Health voted 8-0 in favor of Mayor Bloomberg's ban on sugary drinks larger than 16oz., "soda-pop speakeasies'' began sprouting up all over the five boroughs.
"It started as a joke...
So picture this: You just arrived in Denver last night, and here you are at, like, seven o'clock the next morning, sprawled back in your cargo pants and espadrilles, smoking some very cool brown cigarettes, drinking tequila out of the bottle, and listening to some upbeat tunes on the radio. So far, so good, right?
What's funny about it is that you're hunkered down in this great big walk-in...
"Don't cry, Mama, it will grow back in no time," Elderly Girl says, holding her ever-tinier old mother in her arms. God, that woman's tears can rip you to shreds. Elderly Girl does not enjoy having to be maternal. It gets in the way of her lust for drama.
As most of you are are aware, Elderly Girl had perhaps the most beautiful and celebrated hair on Earth. Even so, the urge to liberate hers...
Chicago IL: Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel has to deal with a high murder rate in the inner-city, a school teacher strike and now illegal horse meat restaurants.
Horse meat slaughter (including government inspection) is again legal in the USA as of N...