Spoof news stories from September 2012
There were 621 spoof news stories published in September 2012. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Last Fourteen Years 'Just A Dream' Say Scientists
United Nations-- A group of scientists addressed the United Nations today, with some stunning news for everyone on the planet. It seems the last fourteen years never really happened--it was all a dream. Everyone on Earth has been hallucinating. It...
Ann Coulter shows her tits on Fox News...no one notices!
FOX NEWS NATION - Republican pin up girl, Ann Coulter, flashed her breastesesses (ahem) on the Fox News Sunday program. The panel of six well known conservative pundits were talking about Obama's embassy staff's cowardly apologies to the A-rab terr...
Taylor Swift: "Even my tits are bigger than Kate Middleton's!"
NASHVILLE TN (ABSNN) - Country music songbird Taylor Swift, a young woman not exactly known for having large breasts, poo-poohed "all the fuss about some fuzzy photographs of Kate Middleton sun bathing topless on a French beach."
"I mean, really n...
Julie Goodyear shocking disability revealed
Julie Goodyear former soap icon of Coronation Street Bet Lynch, who has recently completed a three week stint in Celebrity Big Brother, has now confirmed the disability that she was said to be suffering with in the house. It has been reported to have...
Vatileaks: Pope's butler stole French letters
Rome - Paolo Gabriele has gone on trial for nicking the Pope's letters to the Bishop of Condom in southwestern France.
The former butler says he was mesmerised by the Pontiff's explanation of big bang theories to the Condom-en-Armagnac prelate, re...
Angelina Jolie's Weird Behavior Explained
NEW YORK CITY - One would think that now that Angelina Jolie has finally succeeded in getting long time boyfriend Brad Pitt to propose to her that the Laura Mars star would be happy and content, but au contraire mon frere.
Reports are that Jolie h...
Kate's Breasts Could Kick Start Your Day Too
Following the inevitable global exposure of the future Queen of England's pert breasts by the French paparazzi, Buckingham Palace has gone on the offensive and has threatened legal action against any party who publishes the offending photos, or who u...
Apollo Moon Landing Flags Missing, Discovered On Mars
Houston, TX--There is a new mystery in Outer Space and it's making everyone a little nervous. All six American flags planted on the moon have disappeared. NASA says the flags seem to have vanished sometime in the last few weeks. Nobody knows why.
Middle Eastern Blues
As more riots break out all over the Middle East where some of the poorest people in the world reside Back and to the Left news asks a very simple question. Where the fuck do they get the money to buy all the guns from?
People who can't afford sho...
Kate Middleton Considering Breast Augmentation Surgery
LONDON - England's Tickety Boo News is reporting that Kate Middleton is devastated over the topless photos that were secretly taken of her.
Neville Twickenbuck of TBN stated that an unnamed highly reliable source has made it known that the Duchess...
President Obama Has The Power To Make Mitt Romney Release His Income Tax Statements
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Mitt Romney is sticking to his guns and is flat out refusing to release his income tax returns.
GOPicky Magazine is reporting that there is a loop hole, which the White House legal staff has found which states that the president...
Never Mind Pippa's Ass, Get a Load of Kate's Tits!
Every year the town of Dorking plays host to a very special talent contest - Dorking's Pets Have Got Talent, is a contest to find some of the most talented pets in the Dorking area.
Last year the top prize went to local girl Pippa Middleclass an...
Birth certificate typo reshapes Mitt Romney's campaign
Washington, DC - A typographical error discovered on Mitt Romney's birth certificate yesterday has reshaped the Republican nominee's presidential campaign.
Due to the omission of a single, small "m," the document defines Romney as "a Moron" instea...
Facebook Rejections Make Spinster Suicidal
Philadelphia, PA-- A complete rejection by Facebook friends has made a local spinster become suicidal. Miss Vicky Smegma joined Facebook six months ago and sent out hundreds of friend requests. No one ever bothered to answer them.
Miss Vicky Sme...
Duchess of Cambridge shows public her tits and pussy
In a break from tradition, and in order to not have to rely on the paparazzi taking unofficial photographs, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, has gone public herself with previously unpublished photographs of her tits and pussy.
Prince William, the...
Mitt Romney launches a 'War on Bankruptcy'
New York City - Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has declared war on what he says is the leading cause for America's ongoing fiscal crisis - bankruptcy.
In fact, Romney revealed that his entire economic/fiscal policy is tied to the co...
Obama to wow voters with his Queen Elizabeth Argentine Tango vid
Washington - It worked a treat for George W Bush's 2004 re-election bid as voters lapped up Dubya twirling the royals 'like some half-demented Dervish' during his 2003 London state visit.
This weekend the White House PR team was putting the final...
Captain Kirk 'smoked weed with Kim Gul Dukat Cardassian' in banned Star Trek episode
Los Angeles - "It was an episode about the Federation's launch of the 'Meet The Cardassians' holodeck program," the head of Star Trek archives said today.
"The studio canned it when a props tragedy saw real weed being smoked by Kirk and the floozi...
Gorilla War In Africa Could Go Nuclear
Kampala, Uganda-- An intense war between two tribes of mountain gorillas may go nuclear this weekend. One of the tribes recently discovered how to enrich uranium and is thought to have at least 10 small atomic bombs. Famed primatologist Jane Goodal...
OMG! Italy's Silvio Berlusconi tests positive for Justin Bieber paternity
New York - A Manhattan DNA testing lab is in lockdown this weekend amid confirmation that the Canadian singer's birth father is the septuagenarian Italian renegade Silvio Berlusconi.
And that his mother is Kate Middleton'- the UK's gold-digging wa...
Facebook Is "Frying Peoples Brains' Claim Psychiatrists
New York, NY-- Facebook is making everyone in the world completely insane, according to the nation's leading psychiatrists. They say the popular social networking site is literally frying peoples brains and causing them to become mentally ill.
"...
Hillary Appoints Bill Clinton As New Libyan Ambassador
Washington, DC-- Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has tapped her husband to be the next ambassador to Libya. Mrs. Clinton hailed the former president as 'an amazing negotiator' and promised that he will be rewarded in his new job in the troubled r...
Russell Brand and Lindsay Lohan To Star In "Sell By Date"
LOS ANGELES - A spokesperson for Russell "Sniffles" Brand has just told the Hollywood entertainment media that he will be appearing in Sheboygan Saddlewood's epic motion picture Sell By Date.
The spokesperson identified as Colton B. Billingee said...
Minnie the Mermaid Speaks Out Against the Stalking of Sharks
Wearing a Donna Karan tube dress of soft pink and diamond jewelry by Harry Winston, Minnie held a press conference in NYC yesterday off a pier at the South Street Seaport in lower Manhattan. She attracted a big crowd and spoke for ten minutes straig...
Portuguese Man of War found up Camilla's skirt
Cornwall - A gelatinous Cabo-adjunto - ['Attached corporal'] has been found washed up in the Duchess of Cornwall nether regions according to marine pest control reports.
Described by Portuguese military sources as a varmint 'with a gas-filled blad...
Human Frights lawyer Sir Baldylox Fatcat Arzlikka QC will represent Kate at tit snaps hearing
Paris - He honed his awesome litigation skills defending Princess Margaret in the Headless Duchess caper of '69.
And got Fergie off oral necrophilia charges from a Royal Mausoleum hen night described by one Old Bailey judge as 'pretty hard to swa...
Kate's Breasts - Britain's Rage
The appearance of Kate, Princess of Cambridge, topless in a French magazine has resulted in rioters destroying the French embassy in London.
Banners decrying the French assault on our 'Queen to be' were waved as bricks and petrol bombs cascaded in...
Nudity Appears To Be The New Fad For British Royals
LONDON - The British publication Ta Ta For Now News is getting ready to publish topless photographs which were allegedly taken of Kate Middleton, AKA The Duchess of Cambridge.
TTFNN's Chatsworth Wiggonholt stated that Kate "The Great" as Dancing W...
Curiosity Rover Begins Planting Marijuana Seeds On Mars
Houston, TX-- An exciting new scientific experiment is about to begin on Mars. The Curiosity Rover will be planting a garden of 144 marijuana seeds on the Red Planet later today. Space scientists are hoping to prove that marijuana plants can grow o...
Demi Lovato's Confession To Simon Cowell
HOLLYWOOD - The youngest X-Factor judge Demi Lovato, who just recently turned 20, is really going to be a boost to the sagging X-Factor ratings.
Lovato, who had a big hit with her song "Skyscraper," recently confided to Simon Cowell that she is li...
Candy Corn-Fed Cows Are Much More Hyper
PADUCAH, Kentucky - Atticus Grumpletoy, 71, owner of The Hoot & Holler Cattle Ranch located on the Kentucky-Illinois border recently stated that he has been feeding his 2,000 head of cattle candy corn since the first week in August.
Grumpletoy...
Universe Held Together by Bozo Particle
The super-fast camera can show a bullet-shaped pulse of light travelling from one end of a laboratory flask to another in a fraction of a second. That might make interesting fodder for Boob-Tube videos,but now they are putting that very same super-fa...
Dancing With The Stars: Maksim Chmerkovskiy Says Either Len Goodman Goes Or He Does
VENICE BEACH - Dancing With The Star's professional dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy was recently seen sunbathing with his lovely girlfriend fellow DWTS pro Peta Murgatroyd.
Chmerkovskiy, who is regarded as The Bad Boy of The Ballroom, has not tried to...
Is Kim Kardashian Pregnant With A Little Kanye?
BEVERLY HILLS - The Tinsel Town hairdresser, who is known as the Hair Stylist to The Stars, FuFi Fondue has just dropped a bombshell.
Fondue, who knows more about more Hollywood starlets than anyone else in LaLaLand stated to Fajita San Guacamole...
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel hairdo a turn-off Kate is told
London - "Yeah, life's a bitch...and then you dye," a former colorist/stylist/wigmaker to the royal Z-Lister said today as Kate Middleton's hairdo continued to upset the masses.
Almost ten kilos of extensions have been woven onto near-bald Kate's...
Nadya Suleman AKA OctoMom Has Never Heard of Mitt Romney
LA HABRA - Nadya Suleman recently sat down with Moltenberry Babineaux of The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle and revealed a lot about herself.
Right off the bat when Babineaux asked her if she was for President Barack Obama or for Mitt Romney, she g...
Simon Cowell's X-Factor Kicks Off Season Number 2
AUSTIN - Season 2 of Simon Cowell's X-Factor shot right out of the chute like a 2,000 pound bucking Brahma bull.
After months and months of searching for two judges to replace the fired Paula "Touchdown" Abdul and Nicole "Teardrops" Scherzinger, S...
George Clooney Tells Clint Eastwood Not To Quit His Day Job
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - George Clooney said that he and his alluringly gorgeous girlfriend Stacy Keibler watched Clint Eastwood make his speech at the Republican National Convention in Tampa.
Clooney stated to Tittle Tattle Tonight that he and Stacy had...
Irish Newspaper Goes One Better In Topless Royal Scandal
Not to be outdone in the media frenzy surrounding the recent exposure of the Duchess of Cambridge's modest breasts, the Irish tabloid, The Sunday Gobshite, has printed rather unflattering photos of another senior member of the British Royal Family.
Cricket Language Discovered
Philadelphia, PA-- An entomologist working at the University of Pencilvainia may have just made the most remarkable scientific discovery of all time. The scientist has uncovered a very complex language among crickets. The exciting discovery will re...
Iran news agency falls for Obama Spoof
Iran - The Tehran Aintgottaprayer.con News Agency is in hot water tonight after falling for a Spoof story that the 'Muslim President' of the United States is taking a second wife.
The agency syndicated the Spoof article claiming a wealthy US phil...
Texas School Principal: 'I spanked her cheatin ass!'
SPRINGTOWN, TX (ABSNN) - John Wannabeter is a well-respected, "no nonsense" high school Vice Principal at SHS. He is known as a fair administrator, but a hard-ass by his students. Last week an 18-year-old female student was caught cheating and susp...
Charlize Theron Falls Head-Over-Heels For "Modern Family" Star
HOLLYWOOD - Charlize Theron, star of such movies as Snow White and The Huntsman, Reindeer Games, and The Hideously Ugly Sea Monsters of The Mediterranean has admitted to being on Cloud 9.
The beautifully alluring actress told Fajita San Guacamole...
Britain Braces Itself For Mild Weather
Those plucky Brits have been warned this week to batten down the hatches and prepare themselves for prolonged outbreaks of mild weather.
Forecasters predict that the skies will probably be grey, and that gentle breezes will probably blow sporadic...
Justin Theroux Having Second Thoughts About Marrying Jennifer Aniston
NEW YORK CITY - Justin Theroux was in the Big Apple celebrating the upcoming marriage of one of his closest friends Dr. Mondello F. Barsillian, an unemployed dentist.
Theroux was asked about his upcoming marriage to Jennifer Aniston and the 41-yea...
Palace mole tipped-off paps in topless Kate pics brouhaha
London - A secret 'Mr 20%' is raking in the moolah as more flesh-flash Kate shots are published this weekend.
His SMS texts - as seen by QM-NewsCorpse reporters - tipped off long lens paps in the Luberon last week.
And now the sender has been I...
Jesus makes a surprise appearance at the Democratic National Convention
Jesus stunned politicians with a surprise appearance and a short speech at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, on Wednesday afternoon.
He talked about how U.S. government and politicians have to rediscover true values...
LA Galaxy to bid for London Olympic Stadium
Major League Soccer side LA Galaxy have joined the bidding process to play at the Olympic Stadium in East London, England.
They join bids from local football franchises West Ham United and Leyton Orient, plus one from Formula One chief Bernie Ecc...
Modern Day Nikola Tesla Invents Infinite Power Source
Rockville MD: Nikola Tesla working in his garage at night has invented an infinite power source, potentially making the USA energy independent. Mr. Tesla planned to patent the device and give all rights to his adopted country.
An application for a...
Harvard Prof finds 'Honey Do' list from Jesus' wife!
HARVARD UNIVERSITY (ABSNN)- Dr. Karen L. King, a Harvard Divinity School professor, has discovered a scrap of parchment written by the wife of Jesus Christ.
The announcement of the discovery was made at an international conference of Coptic schola...
Druids to muster Autumn Equinox sheep-dip test
London - Hordes of New Age hippies and neo-Pagan nutz are to be kettled through a pesticide trench before being allowed up Primrose Hill for Saturday's Autumn Equinox parade.
The elf 'n' safety directive comes as a ten year study by the Royal Frea...
New Boobs cost Arizona con artist $8,000 plus 18 months in solitary
PHOENIX AZ (ABSNN) - a 26-year-old Phoenix woman will spend a year-and-a-half in jail and she'll have to pay back some $8,000 to Arizona neighbors who thought they were paying for a cancer victim's double mastectomy.
Instead, they "were paying f...
Clinton 'knew Monica Lewinsky is ex-Italian PM's Silvio Berlusconi's daughter' says D 'N' C consultant
Washington - A top makeover consultant hired by successive Administrations has revealed what NATO geneticists have always suspected, that former President Bill Clinton 'was 100% aware' of Monica's Italian bloodline.
Dilation and curettage [D-'n'-C...
Kate Middleton furore - More nakedness exposed
Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (Catherine Elizabeth "Kate"; Middleton; born 9 January 1982) the the wife of Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, and a member of the British Royal Family, second in line to the thrones of the 16 Commonwealth realms is...
Six months before Mayor Bloomberg's soda ban takes effect, high-volume "Soft-Drink Speakeasies" appear all over New York City
Brooklyn--Less than five days after New York City's Board of Health voted 8-0 in favor of Mayor Bloomberg's ban on sugary drinks larger than 16oz., "soda-pop speakeasies'' began sprouting up all over the five boroughs.
"It started as a joke...
Dancing With The Stars First Victim - The Sultry Blonde
HOLLYWOOD - The Pineapple 7000 Computer hit it right on the head when it predicted that out of the 13 Dancing With The Stars All-Stars the first one to be eliminated would be Pamela Anderson.
The 45-year-old Anderson and her partner Tristan MacMan...
New Threat to David Cameron taken seriously by G4S, Police and MI5!
Investigative reporter Bartholomew Utterswaithe, reports on the situation regarding the anonymous threats received at the Nottingham Conservative supporters headquarters last week.
Party chairperson Hortensia Araminta Ponsomby-Smyth explained to U...
Poltergeist plays havoc with Queen's knickers
Balmoral - A pesky phantom is being blamed for snatching the Queen's knickers during a performance of Mozart's Cosy Fanny Tutti this week.
The royal arse was left in the buff as HM sat through the 1790 three-act Opera Buffa at the Loch Ness Operat...
Kate Middleton's Topless Photos Now Overshadowed By Her Bottomless Photos
NEW YORK CITY - It appears that Kate Middleton is getting more publicity than all of the British royalty combined including Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Philip, Prince Charles, Camilla, and the Duke of Liverpool AKA Timmy Tockerticky.
Kate's hubby P...
Federal Govenment Begins Mailing Weed To Everyone
Washington, DC-- The Department of Homeland Insecurity has begun mailing an ounce of marijuana per week to all of the 312 million citizens of the United States. The government expects some tough times ahead in the next few months, and they want ever...
Dancing With The Stars Kicks Off Season #15
HOLLYWOOD - Thirteen couples are competing for the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy on this season's edition of Dancing With The Stars: The All-Stars.
Ling Chow Rangoon is covering the celebrity contestants and the professional instructors for iRumors.
President Clinton Says Monica Lewinksy's New Book Is Science Fiction
LA BREA, California - Former President Bill Clinton was having dinner at The La Brea Tar Pits Diner with George Clooney and his stunning girlfriend Stacy Keibler.
According to an employee at the diner, Clooney asked the former president what he t...
Forbes Magazine Finds Theo Epstein Guilty as Charged
Forbes Magazine only deals with sports business when the price exceeds $250,000,000.00. Otherwise, it is a true condescending reach downward to the sporting life where penny stock brokers live and die.
The Red Sox recent budget cutting has caught...
Late Night Screening of Harrison Ford Movie Ignites Amish Fury
A midnight screening of the 1985 American thriller film directed by Peter Weir and starring Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis, Witness, has ignited scenes of violence and rioting throughout the Amish community in various locations across the United St...
Paris Hilton In Hot Water Over Gay Comments
BEVERLY HILLS - Hollywood celebutante Paris Hilton was sitting in the Haven of Hair Saloon getting the back of her neck shaved by her hair stylist FuFi Fondue when she read an article in Left Coast Mirror Magazine.
The article written by Tequila T...
Gay Navy Seal to release book
On the eve of the release of, "No Easy Day," there is another book coming out called, "One Really Hot Sexy Sweaty Day," by America's first Gay Navy SEAL appointed by President Obama.
In "One Really Hot Sexy Sweaty Day," former Navy SEAL Lance Wort...
Stacy Keibler Issues A Warning To Elisabetta Canalis
BEVERLY HILLS - George Clooney broke up with Italian model Elisabetta Canalis because she wanted to have half a dozen children and he didn't.
Canalis also wanted for Clooney to leave the Hollywood limelight and move to her native Italy where they...
Area man will eat that if you're not going to
DENVER, CO--Insisting that it is "the best part", Angelo Delagol offered to consume the uneaten and undesired portion of his tablemate's meal, sources from Outback Restaurant on 40th Avenue reported Sunday.
"Really, you're not gonna eat it?" Delag...
Original Sin Forgiven as Woman Menstruates Jesus
The Pope has declared Original Sin forgiven upon hearing that a woman has menstruated Jesus. The woman in her thirties was routinely about to change her sanitary towel when she saw a face staring up from between her legs. Upon closer inspection the w...
Topless Photos Of Pope Benedict XVI Published
Vatican City-- Scandalous photos of a half naked Pope Benedict XVI are about to be published on a German website. The pontiff is shown wearing only a towel around his waist as he steps from his bathroom into his dressing room. The Vatican says it w...
King Richard III Found In Leicester Car Park
A team of Archaeologists have revealed that they believe they have found the skeletal remains of King Richard III. King Richard, also known as 'The Lionheart', was last seen running away from the Battle of Bosworth Field on 22nd August 1485.
Many...
Quoth the Replacement Referee! NFL Official Speaks!
"Forevermore," quoth the NFL official. No, Edgar Allen Poe has not been resurrected from the "Tomb of Ligeia" to work for Roger Goodell.
There is no balm in Gilead, nor even in Foxboro. So, fans should not expect any relief from or for the replace...
Paul Ryan Speaks Out About Gay Marriage
WEST HOLLYWOOD - GOP vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan aka Eddie Munster, spoke before a crowd gathered in the parking lot of a King's Kastle Supermarket.
Ryan told the crowd estimated at between 19 and 22 adults that he wants everyone to know...
Kristen Stewart Turns Down The Starring Role In "Trampires of The Damned"
LOS ANGELES - Reports coming out of Tinsel Town are that Kristen Stewart is still pretty much in hiding since the revelations of her indiscretions hit the fan so to speak.
Stewart had been in talks with Tri-Moon films about starring in Sheboygan S...
Sandra Bullock Reveals Secrets About Ex-Husband Jesse James
AUSTN - Sandra Bullock has shown that she weathered the breakup of her marriage to "Messy" Jesse James with flying colors.
Bullock did admit recently to Fajita San Guacamole with The Hollywood Innuendo that when she first learned that James had ch...
Why California shouldn't force porn stars to wear condoms
Los Angeles --Today the California State Senate brought to the floor a bill that would require the Adult film industry actors to wear condoms. The reason for the bill, according to a state Senator who requested to remain anonymous, is to ensure that...
Kate Middleton To Appear on Gordon Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen
HOLLYWOOD - It is now official that Kate Middleton has agreed to appear on an upcoming episode of Gordon Ramsay's reality show Hell's Kitchen.
A spokesperson for the show identified as Loretta Sue Piffkinhaus, 43, has said that Ramsay was finally...
Cold War archives show Dallas star Linda Gray 'is John F Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe's daughter'
Yorba Linda, CA - "No wonder they shot JFK, RFK and dastardly JR," a former curator at the Richard Nixon Presidential Library and Museum commented as news of the DNA test findings finally broke.
Buried under mountains of conspiracy theory dossiers...
Brief: Microsoft to release 'Playstation 3'
The first new video game console since 2006 is finally set to be released.
Microsoft has unveiled its newest video game console, which it says far exceeds the capabilities of any game console on the market. The same company known for releasin...
Was Saad al-Hilli assassinated over WMD 'dodgy dossier'?
London - Detectives probing the Alpine massacre of the Iraqi-born satellite communications expert have reopened al-Hilli's Special Branch file.
A raft of British newspaper stories this weekend paint a vivid picture of covert surveillance on foreig...
Kate WHO? French judge sides with SaggyTitz magazine editor
Paris - A French judge has sided with the editor of SaggyTitz! magazine that some tawdry royal boob snaps 'were deliberately posed'.
And he's thrown out demands for the pics' destruction as well as punitive damages against the mag.
Calls for th...
Shakira's Ex-boyfriend Suing Her For $250 Million!
DETROIT - The South American firecracker, Shakira, had just finished performing at The Carburetor Coliseum in Motown when she received a phone call.
The call was from her attorney Dardanelle Cyrus Blewpillski of New York City. Shakira, 35, was inf...
Paul Ryan Says He Can See Russia From His Home In Wisconsin
INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana - GOP vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan was campaigning in Indianapolis, the town that was named after the Cleveland Indians.
He told a crowd that had gathered in the parking lot of a Fishy Smell Seafood Grill that he and...
My life as a man #11
Dating, workplace, perils of...
I am getting to know a few of my readers here, and those of you with whom I chat online know that I do research in archives and photography--mostly about military history and especially regarding the US Civil War. Yes, in real life, I am a geek, to the bone.
When women find out what I do they are polite, express absolutely no interest, and move on to the lepe...
Zimbabwe synchronised toilet flush craze spreads to Barking
Isle of Dogs - An Autumn Equinox cleansing ritual peculiar to the Zimbabwean city of Bulawayo is the latest craze to hit East London.
At 7.30pm local African time Barking residents are being asked to flush their bogs in a Mexican Wave reaction of...
"Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" Beats Out The Republican National Convention
LOS ANGELES - The TLC Network is as happy as a ostrich in soft dirt after their hit reality show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo beat out every one of the four major networks plus CNN which was showing the Republican National Convention.
The reality show...
My life as a man #14
I've got the Anger Management Class Blues
I have hated Yankees since my ill-spent youth. I grew up in the hills of the Virginias and Carolinas. Every summer, my family spent countless hot hours manning an Apple Cider (and Apple Brandy) stand alongside US 60, in Kanawha County, West Virginia.
We owned an apple orchard, and for my family, during the season, it was all hands on deck, prun...
Notorious medieval topless portrait of Queen Elizabeth I discovered
A controversial 16th century painting has been uncovered in the attic of an eccentric historian in Dorking. It is infamous for being banned for showing the then Queen Elizabeth I topless.
The portrait was painted by French "paparazzi" artist LaDou...
Roast badger on Nigella's menu tonight
London - Spatchcocked roast badger a l'Anglaise kicks off Nigella Lawson's daft cookery show tonight accompanied by char-grilled split beaver stuffing and a fiery jus.
The dish is among viewers' top requested roadkill classics as austerity bites...
U2 Named Third Greatest Band of All-Time in Alternate Reality Where U2 Died in Plane Crash in 1987
NEW YORK, NY--Sources from a parallel universe where all the members of Irish rock band U2 died in a plane crash during their 1987 Joshua Tree Tour reported today that Rolling Stone's annual "Greatest Bands of All-Time" listed the late band as the th...
Miley Cyrus Denies The Lesbian Rumors
BEVERLY HILLS - Miley Cyrus, who has cut off most of her hair, was sitting in the Haven of Hair Saloon getting some touch ups to her new hair cut and hairdo by FuFi Fondue, the man known as The Hair Stylist To The Stars.
She was reading a copy of...
Clint Eastwood To Guest Star On The Vampire Diaries
HOLLYWOOD - Manolo Middlezuck, producer of The Vampire Diaries, has just announced that he has signed legendary movie and television icon Clint Eastwood to appear in an upcoming episode of his hit television cable show.
Middlezuck says that when h...
Honey Boo Boo's Mama Tells Kris Jenner To Kiss Her Redneck Rump
HOLLYWOOD - The mother of the Kardashian sisters, Kris Jenner has just attacked little Honey Boo Boo and her mother June "Mama" Shannon.
Kris, who is married to Bruce "Stone Face" Jenner told The Tinsel Town Times Tribune that she cannot believe t...
Simon Cowell's Meltdown
LOS ANGELES - Simon Cowell is a very private individual who does not like to give interviews. But he did sit down recently with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight.
De Gallo asked the man known as The Sultan of Sarcasm how many T-shirts he has.
American Idol Officially Dumps Randy "The Dawg" Jackson
HOLLYWOOD - After months of speculation, innuendo, and double entendres, it is now official that Randy "The Dawg" Jackson will no longer be a judge on American Idol.
Jackson who had been with the music reality show since the very beginning was tol...
Man breaks penis during Love Seat sex bust
WAUKESHA, WI (ABSNN) - As if living in Wisconsin wasn't bad enough, Waukesha residents were "treated" to a 46-year-old man having intercourse with a couch, or to be exact, an abondoned love seat.
Jerrard T. Streetor, of 2387 Cold Stream Place, Wau...
Abu Hamza off to America
Abu Hamza has asked the Court if he can be allowed to walk to the U.S. as part of a sponsored walk to collect for Charity.
Hamza said he wanted to save the UK taxpayers money and at the same time do something useful..
Using the little known rou...
William to sue French mag yet again: Kate's boobs are much bigger he says.
Prince William is barking mad because he says that the breasts of his wife, the former Kate Middleton, now known as the Duchess of Cambridge, are much larger than on the photos in the French magazine.
Our Buckingham Palace source, who wishes to re...
The Greatest Clairvoyant In The United States Is Retiring
RENO - Word has just come out of The Biggest Little City In The World that one of it's famous citizens is retiring.
Thor VanPinderhausen, 53, who is regarded as one of the greatest clairvoyants in America, has said he is quitting because he just d...
The, "Prince Harry Party Girls", From Las Vegas Come Forward
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. That's been the calling card for Sin City for the last few years. Usually it's the truth, you go to Vegas, party you're ass off and go home, "no harm no foul".
Recently though some one broke the sacred code a...
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