WASHINGTON -- Vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan asserted on multiple occasions Tuesday morning that numbers do add up. "Obviously," Ryan said, "numbers add up, we have shown that."
However, Romney's campaign seems to be confused about how th...
DENVER - The first Presidential Debate between President Obama and non-president Mitt Romney will be held in The Mile High City.
The debate will be moderated by Jim Lehrer, a man who should have changed his last name a long, long time ago.
Lehr...
Music legend and current Emperor of Wyoming Neil Young has brought out a new music system to rival the iPod. His Pono system will have a better sound quality than its rivals, all the better to keep you rocking in the free world.
Neil said:
"It...
McINTYRE, Georgia - The TLC Network has just given the Thompson-Shannon family, who star in Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, a hefty raise from $5,000 per show to $15,000 per show.
June "Mama" Shannon, who tips the scales at 307 pounds, told TV ClickerWo...
HOLLYWOOD - Simon Cowell of the X-Factor, who is referred to as The "Viceroy of Venom," is not known for his clothing expertise, which pretty much consists of wearing either a simple black or a simple gray T-shirt.
But word out of Tinsel Town is t...
"Roadshow" producers are harried lot, generally. Their lives are full of details that must be checked, cross checked and verified again once air time nears, all to no avail some days.
"How do you present the historical facts like this?" Said produ...
A Polite Lutheran pastor from Sheboygan, Wisconsin with the unlikely name of John Smith has blown a big hole in the Mormon Doughboy's Christian Center with one question from "The Revelation According to John", the last book in the Bible.
As past...
"They're not saying anything but they're out there, all right" Q.V. Welp, MP, noted backbencher and stuffed shirt said Thursday week last, just before the eclipse which was rescheduled at the last moment allowing wireless spacecraft TG862G42 to tran...
Today on the afternoon idiot circle, Eric Bolling, went off on one of his most incredulous rants while at the same time ogling Kimberly Guilfoyle. It was at this time that Bob Beckel noticed smoke coming from the seat of Bolling's chair. Not sure...
It's gonna be a crap day!
I don't know about you, but I can tell, from the get-go, what kind of day it's going to be as soon as I wake up.
If I wake up hearing the birds happily chirping their hearts out and I want to get up and rip their tiny asshole hearts out, it's going to be a shitty day.
If I wake up and hear the birds happily chirping their hearts out and I want to go out and fee...
Man United arrived in Romania today and were rapidly transported off to their hotel before dark. Several players had cloves of garlic hanging around their necks to ward off any vampires that could have been hiding on the mens bogs at the airport.
The most fair and balanced person on Fox News has delivered an astonishing verbal volley towards the mainstream media and liberal pollsters.
In his latest rant on his daily conservative propaganda juggernaut, Sean "Fairness Personified" Hannity, r...
FALON NV (ABSNN) - "The teacher said I had to masturbate to pass his class," said WNC sophomore, Imanice Gurl, a 19-year-old who lives with her mother.
"Momma says it's wrong to play with myself. I really don't know how. I guess I learn, though,...
In a bid to help the blind and partially sighted, a new scheme of Street Braille is to be rolled out across the UK after a successful trial in Stockport.
Over the coming weeks, bumps will appear on pavements across Britain's streets informing the...
Orgasmic sensations are no healthier than non-orgasmic experiences, such as heavy petting or routine fore-play.
Professor Tom Peeping and his team of intrepid observers, from Clitoral College, claim that orgasmic induction methods cause more harm...
During the recent floods in Yorkshire, local farmer Henry Shawtass managed to keep his buttocks dry whilst rescuing sheep from his flooded fields.
Mr Shawtass - who is only 5 ft tall - went back to borrow his wife's high-heeled wellington...
Bar staff at a Humberside pub could get extra payments - thanks to the unquenchable thirst of hardworking lecturers and professors at the local university.
Since the introduction of all-day drinking, senior academics at Humberside University frequ...
Like an unfinished Charles Dickens novel, the life of the Red Sox centerfielder has taken on caricature and hyperbole during the 2012 season.
With a few games left in the season, Ellsbury was yanked from the lineup for several games. No one was ta...
In a recent and unexpected turn of events the Romney Campaign hires Charlie Sheen who is renowned for his WINNING philosophy as well as resurrecting seemingly dead careers as well as making several comebacks.
Both Mr. Sheen and Gov. Romney desp...
WINNEMUCCA, Nevada - Mitt Romney was in Winnemucca, the town that the Paiute Indians named and which means place where bison frolick with wild stallions and look silly as the dickens.
"Old Mittens" confided to his GOP campaign spokesperson Cooter...
Washington, D.C - For the last several years, Governor Romney has been suggesting that being president of this country was, to a certain extent, about character. Well having served in the position for over three years, our President will tell you without hesitation: Being President and Commander and Chief of this country "is" entirely about character.
We've watched and studied the Governor's pr...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Postal Service has found itself in the worse financial situation in history.
According to official U.S. Government data reports, the USPS lost an amazingly unbelievable total of $5.2 billion during the third qu...
HOLLYWOOD - Bristol "The Pistol" Palin called herself a redneck woman and the ol' gal could very well find herself moseying on back up to Wasilla, Alaska.
According to Hollywood Innuendo's Fajita San Guacamole, Bristol and her partner Mark "Tattoo...
Toledo, OH - At the end of a long day on Toledo Bend Lake with very little luck, master baiter Sam Bigton finally caught the winning fish of the day at the annual statewide competition. After three hours of struggling with a 36" Black Bass, he won th...
New York - In an emergency appearance today before the United Nations, a team of international scientists reported that the world has ended. The stunning announcement came during a special session of the UN Security Council, during which scientists f...