Phileas Fogg was relaxing at the bar in his local gentleman's club with a glass of brandy and a copy of the Times.
"Hello Fogg," said Lord Cockwrench. "Have you just laid a honking great brown egg in the lavatory?"
"I dare say I have," replied Fogg sadly. "I do beg your pardon, but poor Mr Crapper's hand-flush toilet was not up to the job. I had to leave my excretia for the butler."
"Aha...
New Jersey - "And a further $10 million for each pound that stays off for the following year," is how the couple's spokesperson put it as the news broke that homeless post-Sandy New Jersey residents stand to benefit from millions of dollars in hurric...
1980s Children's TV star and sock puppet, Gordon the Gopher, has admitted that he was "shocked" and "appalled" to see his former colleague Phillip Schofield ambush Prime Minister David Cameron on ITV's 'This Morning', this morning.
The poorly judg...
An online reference site's French to English translation of a journo's biography continues to baffle as the following excerpt from Georges Georges' CV shows. Some names have been changed to protect the wicked. But the rest of the stuff is almost verbatim...
Georges Georges was first hired by Marc X, head of Groupe Bizarre , as editor of a new publication, De-constructing Africa, he advanced be...
London - Government ministers are drawing lots for the dubious pleasure of standing near Tony Blair at the Remembrance commemoration in Whitehall this Sunday.
Last year M'Noble Lord drew the short straw that saw nostrils pucker at the sickening, '...
Penis Envy
I entered an adult book store yesterday, by mistake, purely by mistake. But since I was already there I decided to take a look at the sex aids displayed in the counter that ran along the whole wall. It is my impression that these sex shops have taken marketing tips from the gun shops that, almost always, are located just across the street or even just next door.
So far as I ca...
The new Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, was today confirmed in the position only because others being considered as candidates were eliminated from the running due to various factors.
Saintly Simon Cowell was eliminated from the running at...
NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - Constitutional scholar Sarah Palin railed against the American electorate Tuesday night saying "I can't believe people would ignore the US Constitution and elect a man who refuses to balance the budget." Palin was acting as a...
Headline should read,"Iranian Jets Attack U.S. Drones in Gulf"
President Obama gave the following speech to assembled reporters in the Rose Garden this afternoon.
My fellow Americans:
As President and Decider, uh...I mean Commander, in Chief, it is my duty to the American people to report that renewed hostile actions against United States drones on the high air in the Gulf of Persia have...
CUCAMONGA, California - Lady Gaga finished performing her third encore at a sold out concert in The Santa Ana Winds Arena.
Afterwards she went backstage and met with Bijou Silhouette of Left Coast Mirror Magazine.
Lady Gaga told her that she wa...