Funny story:  Phileas Fogg: Around The World in Eighty Turds

Phileas Fogg: Around The World in Eighty Turds

Phileas Fogg was relaxing at the bar in his local gentleman's club with a glass of brandy and a copy of the Times. "Hello Fogg," said Lord Cockwrench. "Have you just laid a honking great brown egg in the lavatory?" "I dare say I have," replied Fogg sadly. "I do beg your pardon, but poor Mr Crapper's hand-flush toilet was not up to the job. I had to leave my excretia for the butler." "Aha...
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Funny story:  Big Oil tycoons' post-Sandy pledge of $10 million for each pound of ass-lard that Chris Christie loses in next 12 months

Big Oil tycoons' post-Sandy pledge of $10 million for each pound of ass-lard that Chris Christie loses in next 12 months

New Jersey - "And a further $10 million for each pound that stays off for the following year," is how the couple's spokesperson put it as the news broke that homeless post-Sandy New Jersey residents stand to benefit from millions of dollars in hurric...
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Funny story:  Gordon the Gopher embarrassed by Stupid Stunt Schofield

Gordon the Gopher embarrassed by Stupid Stunt Schofield

1980s Children's TV star and sock puppet, Gordon the Gopher, has admitted that he was "shocked" and "appalled" to see his former colleague Phillip Schofield ambush Prime Minister David Cameron on ITV's 'This Morning', this morning. The poorly judg...
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Funny story:  Joys of automatic internet translation services

Joys of automatic internet translation services

An online reference site's French to English translation of a journo's biography continues to baffle as the following excerpt from Georges Georges' CV shows. Some names have been changed to protect the wicked. But the rest of the stuff is almost verbatim... Georges Georges was first hired by Marc X, head of Groupe Bizarre , as editor of a new publication, De-constructing Africa, he advanced be...
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Funny story:  Downwind from Blair at the Cenotaph on Sunday

Downwind from Blair at the Cenotaph on Sunday

London - Government ministers are drawing lots for the dubious pleasure of standing near Tony Blair at the Remembrance commemoration in Whitehall this Sunday. Last year M'Noble Lord drew the short straw that saw nostrils pucker at the sickening, '...
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Funny story:  My life as a man #28

My life as a man #28

Penis Envy I entered an adult book store yesterday, by mistake, purely by mistake. But since I was already there I decided to take a look at the sex aids displayed in the counter that ran along the whole wall. It is my impression that these sex shops have taken marketing tips from the gun shops that, almost always, are located just across the street or even just next door. So far as I ca...
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Funny story:  Justin Welby takes Archbishop job only because others drop out

Justin Welby takes Archbishop job only because others drop out

The new Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, was today confirmed in the position only because others being considered as candidates were eliminated from the running due to various factors. Saintly Simon Cowell was eliminated from the running at...
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Funny story:  Palin and Trump visit Harlem School get history lesson

Palin and Trump visit Harlem School get history lesson

NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - Constitutional scholar Sarah Palin railed against the American electorate Tuesday night saying "I can't believe people would ignore the US Constitution and elect a man who refuses to balance the budget." Palin was acting as a...
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Funny story:  Iranian Gun Boats Attack U.S. Drone In Gulf

Iranian Gun Boats Attack U.S. Drone In Gulf

Headline should read,"Iranian Jets Attack U.S. Drones in Gulf" President Obama gave the following speech to assembled reporters in the Rose Garden this afternoon. My fellow Americans: As President and Decider, uh...I mean Commander, in Chief, it is my duty to the American people to report that renewed hostile actions against United States drones on the high air in the Gulf of Persia have...
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Funny story:  Lady Gaga Tells The Haters, The Sore Losers, And Donald Trump To Leave The USA

Lady Gaga Tells The Haters, The Sore Losers, And Donald Trump To Leave The USA

CUCAMONGA, California - Lady Gaga finished performing her third encore at a sold out concert in The Santa Ana Winds Arena. Afterwards she went backstage and met with Bijou Silhouette of Left Coast Mirror Magazine. Lady Gaga told her that she wa...
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