Funny story:  Meat eaters lie, are sex mad and need prostitutes!

Meat eaters lie, are sex mad and need prostitutes!

Indian vegetarians have discovered that since McDonalds opened a chain of veggy restaurants in the country sex crimes have been reduced by 25% and men lying to their wives has radically been reduced by 50%! Non-consumption of meat products tends t...
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Funny story:  Doper's request for 'one more joint' lands him in the joint

Doper's request for 'one more joint' lands him in the joint

CINCINNATI, Ohio (ABSNN) - A convicted pot smoker's request to smoke "one more joint before quitting," landed him in the joint after an Ohio judge "was astonished by his request." Damaine Mitchell, 19, was sentenced to prison by Hamilton County...
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Funny story:  SFA search for Miracle Worker

SFA search for Miracle Worker

Craig Levein's sacking as Scotland manager has set in motion the search for a new man to blame for an average group of players. As yet the SFA search has yielded, ironically enough, SFA. Gordon Strachan is the early frontrunner for the job and is...
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Funny story:  Hostess Tells American Court Sno Balls Chance in Hell on the Heels of Hurricane Sandy

Hostess Tells American Court Sno Balls Chance in Hell on the Heels of Hurricane Sandy

The US economy, only now beginning to recover from the devastation of Hurricane Sandy, was dealt another financial tsunami this morning when Hostess CEO, Gregory Rayburn announced that Irving Texas based Hostess has filed a motion with the U.S. Bankr...
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Funny story:  The Last Links To Cancer

The Last Links To Cancer

A new study has studied that smacking can lead to cancer! Shock and horror would be two of the emotions Back and to the Left news would be feeling if we could indeed feel human emotions anymore. But with scientists discovering a link between cancer a...
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Funny story:  Pattinson cousin is only man in America who has never seen the Twilight Saga

Pattinson cousin is only man in America who has never seen the Twilight Saga

LANCASTER COUNTY, Pennsylvania (ABSNN) - A vast number of the farms in this Pennsylvania county have no electricity, no televisions, no telephones, no motor vehicles, no Honey Boo Boo. They are Amish folk, and yet, even the Amish know of the Twiligh...
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Funny story:  Worlds Biggest Liar Contest Cancelled! Not!

Worlds Biggest Liar Contest Cancelled! Not!

A pub in Cumbria has just hosted the "Worlds biggest Liar" competition. A strange time in the world of professional lying was reflected in the turnout for the competition, with none of the pre tournament favourites bothering to turn up. Nick Cleg...
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Funny story:  Wayne Rooney Suffers Choking Embarrassment

Wayne Rooney Suffers Choking Embarrassment

Manchester United and England star Wayne Rooney is facing a night in hospital after choking on a dismantled Rubik's Cube at his Cheshire home. Speaking from outside the People's Dispensary for Sick Animals (PDSA) in Warrington where Rooney is recu...
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Funny story:  Voters defend role in election fiasco

Voters defend role in election fiasco

Voters were this afternoon defending the controversial decision to ignore elections for new Police and Crime Commissioners. With turnout at 18% and expected to be the lowest ever in a British election, voters were particularly critical of the lack o...
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Funny story:  The twinkeling out of Hostess Twinkies and Wonder Bread

The twinkeling out of Hostess Twinkies and Wonder Bread

NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - Hostess Brands, the bakers of Wonder Bread, Ho Hos and Twinkies, announced today it will shut down its remaining two plants due to a strike that crippled its operations. Although the company will cease operations, Twinkies ha...
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Funny story:  Brits to Send Qatada to Mars

Brits to Send Qatada to Mars

In a shocking announcement, the UK Government has revealed its plans to 'kill 2 birds with one stone' as plans to combine solving the controversial issue of Abu Qatada, with the development of a UK Space Programme. USA (The UK Space Agency) had be...
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Funny story:  Obama Wins Angriest Man Prize

Obama Wins Angriest Man Prize

David Lynch, creator of the cult-hit comic strip, The Angriest Dog in the World, announced yesterday that President Obama has won the annual Angriest Man in the World award for threatening to punch out John McCain behind the White House utility shed.
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Funny story:  King warns of 'triple-dip'

King warns of 'triple-dip'

A grossly overweight island ruler has warned nearby islands in the South Pacific that he is thinking of plunging into the sea three times this weekend. King Blubbablubba is King of Splishisplashi - a tiny island half-way between the Philippines an...
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Funny story:  The Behind-The-Scenes Story of The NASCAR Feud Between Jeff Gordon and Clint Bowyer

The Behind-The-Scenes Story of The NASCAR Feud Between Jeff Gordon and Clint Bowyer

ATLANTA - NASCAR vice-president of Oil Changes Clyde P. Duckmeister, was asked to comment on the recent unfortunate incident which occurred in Phoenix at the Phoenix International Raceway in which Jeff Gordon purposely drove his number 24 car into Cl...
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Funny story:  Judge Orders Feminist to Wear 'Idiot' Sign

Judge Orders Feminist to Wear 'Idiot' Sign

A feminist caught on camera driving on a pavement to avoid a school bus unloading small, defenseless children will have to stand at a crossroads wearing a sign describing herself as an idiot. Her car had 100 stickers with misandrist statements ag...
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Funny story:  Northern Floridians Await Circumcision

Northern Floridians Await Circumcision

Tallahasee - Now that election officials have finally tallied up the votes from yet another tangled mess of a Presidential election in the sunshine state, it has left many residents in the nation's most phallic-like state feeling rather… limp. Wit...
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