The phantom Calculator stroker, Kevin Sneeze was finally caught in a Dorking Ryman's on Thursday afternoon. Mr Sneeze's main affliction (dubbed "The Calculator Pimp" by local ombudsmen) was Calculators. He would parade around the various stationers...
BILLINGSGATE POST - In an interview with David Feherty, a chagrined Tiger Woods reveals that he believes that the underlying problem leading to his inconsistent ball flight can be traced to a right hand grip that is overly strong.
The goateed Feh...
A football fan in Shepherd's Bush has been attacked by an angry mob after he was spotted strutting around West London in a Bayern Munich shirt.
'A huge crowd chased me, including members of the Anti-Nazi League. They tried to rip the shirt off my...
In 2008, before he'd been declared the winner of the presidential election, Barack Obama was named Advertising Age's "Marketer of the Year." And now, in 2012, Obama seeks a repeat win of the advertising honor.
"The presidency has been cool, and I'...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Barack Obama was having a cheeseburger with Vice-President Joe Biden at a local Burger Bandit in the nation's capital when he was asked a personal question regarding his marriage.
The president put down his cheeseburge...
* Who cuts your hair?
* Do you model your management style on Basil Fawlty or Gordon Brittas?
* How the hell did you get in as London Mayor - AGAIN?
Would you still have won if Labour had put someone else instead of Ken Livingstone up against you?
* Wasn't it enough making a fool of yourself on comedy panel shows, now you have to do it as Mayor of London?
* Is it true you've hired an...
London - The man exonerated of the Jill Dando killing has won the fight for a miscarriage of justice Appeal.
Eight years behind bars saw Barry George Bush wrongly punished in an unsolved murder mystery still baffling the cops.
Dubbed a 'weirdo'...
John Travolta's co-star from the smash hit musical blockbuster Grease has come to the actor's defense after weeks of allegations against the all dancing and singing superstar.
Olivia Newton-John has said that while working with Travolta in the 70...
Chelsea players are getting into the Munich swing of things by ordering buckets of Bratwurst, Bavarian beer and they have also promised to wear their "Lederhosen" if they spank the bums of Bayern Munich tomorrow!
Didier Drogba and his chums trotte...
Animal welfare groups warned yesterday that the streets of Britain may soon be virtually impassable as they become clogged with morbidly overweight pigeons.
According to bird and wildlife protectionist Percy Nobbleton, the flying rats' diet has ev...
Washington, DC - The President held a surprise press conference this morning for a small group of reporters. There he was asked if he really knew where he was born.
"I can't actually remember where I was born", the President replied to the report...
Following the sacking of Alex McCleish by Aston Villa earlier in the week, sources inside Villa Park suggest that former Chelsea boss Andre Villas-Boas will be the new man in the hot seat, early next week.
McCleish was sacked after 11 months in ch...
Dear constituents of mine,
I have had a most hectic week.
It didn't start well. The train up to London was so crowded on Monday morning that I thought I may not even get my usual seat. Fortunately the old lady who I found sitting in my allocated seat recognised me and moved elsewhere. Thank goodness she did. My Blackberry with its new ring tone was already in full flow as I sat down and it...
London - Proceeds from the gold-embossed 'Donations Welcome' invites were filling up Palace coffers today.
Billed as the ultimate despots' photo-op the feast's bound to sanitise some very dodgy despotic profiles.
And raise oodles of cash for th...
Allentown, PA - Everyone knows Allentown is full of people who are too fat to fit into a restaurant booth. That is all about to change since the FDA approved the use of a new strain of flesh-eating bacteria for release into the wild, according to ou...
Have the Boston Celtics really played "rope a dope" with the Philadelphia 76ers?
Or is it the other way around?
Shall the apparently shell-shocked and demoralized Philly team suddenly surge upward like a tsunami hidden in the ocean until it rea...
The Olympic venues have been accused of fleecing their visitors by treating them as a captive audience and prohibiting the bringing of visitors' own food and drink into the stadiums.
"The caterers are the same as those used at Wembley," said an un...
HOLLYWOOD - American Idol judge Steven Tyler said about Joshua Ledet that no male or female singer in the eleven year history of American Idol has ever sung better than the man from Westlake, Louisiana.
But it appears that the singer nicknamed "Eb...
In an unprecedented show of unity 26 of the 27 European Member States agreed to ban the word austerity from their respective languages.
As expected, Greece used its' veto against the proposal before releasing the following statement; "In the off...
Dear Rocko,
Just call me Sabrina, from Saffron City, Kanto. I have a neighbor who annoys me by leaving pamphlets and Chick tracts at my doors and windows. This neighbor just moved from Westboro, and I don't know if I let my Alakazam use a Pokemon move on that guy because doing it violates my beliefs. I already reported this to the police station, but this still keeps on going. I need advice. Bl...