The world is coming to terms with the discovery that everything we have ever known is only a simulation in some tremendous computer system. To be honest, I am not even sure why I am writing this article or even if it is me writing this article.
Ph...
Frickin,Ohio- Alfred Frickin, the most widely know Philanthropist of the past century passed away peacefully while flying cross-country in his Frickin Lear Jet. Among other things Mr. Frickin is credited with building over 2,000 libraries in cities a...
If there's one thing I can't stand it's the Olympics. Another thing I can't stand is all this talk about the weather. You know, 'Oh how terrible the weather is, you wouldn't think it was June', that kind of talk. The other week I was in a shop buying some picture hooks when I heard the woman behind the counter saying 'isn't the weather dreadful? You wouldn't know it was June'. Apart from the fact...
ITV1 have stated in an official press release their new talent show, The Chas Factor, based on popular character Chas Dingle from the soap opera Chas Dale (formerly Emmerdale).
It has actually already aired, in a surprise twist. It is presented b...
Inchcock was born in a poverty stricken back street of Knightsbridge, London. His parents had moved from Mayfair some months earlier because the next door neighbours did not have a Butler or maid.
It was a sparse existence; the family could not afford Izal toilet paper. Inchcocks family lived hand to mouth they had hands and used their mouths. When Inchy was six, he was sent to stay with an aun...
In a late news flash professional nutcase Ted Nugent, the flaming redneck of rock and gun fame, who was most recently in the news for 'suggesting' that Obama and his Cabinet be beheaded, has found himself a new hunting buddy. "That damn (expletive de...
As it was recently announced that Emmerdale would be renamed Chas Dale, bosses are now trying to get viewers like her before the new look starts at Halloween.
They will do this by making a 'Chas-Week', a week which sees Chas appear in every scene...
VENICE BEACH - Katy Perry was out lying on the sand and soaking up some UV rays on Venice Beach, which was named after Venice Beach, Venezuela.
Perry has stated that she's had a bit of a memorable 2012, since getting ambushed with divorce papers f...
London - Three daze of honing MI6 cryptographer Dr Gareth Williams' technique of slipping in and out of a large holdall may be about to come good for fugitive bail jumper Julian Assange.
Reports from the Ecuador embassy in London's Knightsbridge h...
Demoted and disgraced former Scottish Premier League winners, Glasgow Rangers, have applied to join the Welsh Premier League after being told that the only Scottish League that would accept them, was the Hebrides Third Division.
"It's no good," sa...
An online feel-good fundraising effort for a bullied bus monitor has reached $50,000,000 and is growing leading the Treasury Department, Greece and several Hollywood stars to apply for a loan.
More than $52 million has been donated to Karen Klein,...
Jerry Sandusky has been named as the new Head Coach for the Penn State Correctional Touch Football Team.
He will take up his position on Monday when he will meet the players and this years drafts, who should be arriving on the same bus as him late...
Fans of Lady GaGa who attended the diva's latest concert tour at the Brighton Dome were shocked and/or amused to see a trail of toilet paper apparently coming from her ladyship's knickers as she mounted the stage last night.
As the crowd left the...
Following newspaper reports that food items that had been nibbled by mice and had been re-packaged and sold on to the public by the poundshop in the tiny village of Mousehole in Cornwall was in shock today over the arrest of two of its most popular r...
Ascot - He's been compared to Sir Walter Raleigh - the country's earliest recorded and most successful tobacco dealer - laying his cloak on a damp patch to avert mucky embarrassment for Queen Elizabeth I.
Yesterday at Royal Ascot a 21st century w...
The following is a Spoof news article from 1840, one of several articles discovered in a dusty box in the attic of Duncan Brown in Chelmsford.
It has come to the attention of all rational minded individuals that our beloved Queen of a mere three years, Queen Victoria, intends to marry into German nobility. Polite society has given notice that it has been appalled that such Visigoth blood should...
In what may be the most extraordinary news ever, aliens have landed on Earth. Science fiction writers have long wondered what aliens might look like, from little green men to large grey men, but it turns out that the first aliens to contact humanity...
Roger Clemens, found not guilty of lying to Congress about his use of performance enhancers, showed up at Fenway Park and sat in the Monster seats, only days after his successful verdict.
It was like the alienated hero of Lost Horizon showing up a...
The troubled soap Emmerdale is to be given a huge revamp due to falling ratings, my sources can reveal.
Chastity Dingle, the character that is currently taking centre stage in the show, isn't popular, so in a change to try and make people like h...
Armed Response Units surrounded a number of London addresses in the early hours of yesterday morning. In a series of dramatic dawn raids, several high ranking members of staff, believed to be linked to several popular British tabloids, were arrested...
Dear constituents:
I have had a very hectic week.
But first I'd like to thank my constituent, Mr Arkwright, for emailing me to say that if you kick the car park ticket machines twice, you not only get a ticket but a full refund of your original 50p. Such is the value of this newsletter that I'm wondering if I should start charging for it to boost my re-election fund.
Today, being Saturday...
This article, was designed by Bartholomew Utterwaithe (66), to offer help, support, succour and advice to those of the population who are entering their 60's - in an effort to lessen the culture-shock suffered by many, when they also get made redundant at 62 years of age, then suffer heart failure.
It is not intended as a solution for the those who are about to lose their concentration, bladder...
In this week's case study, Doctor Sinnick highlights the health issues caused by not looking beautiful enough.
She complained to me that her figure was not, what it used to be - it had gone to pot
Her nose was too long, her face was wrong, her bust was too small and that wasn't all
Her legs were fat and her bottom flat where she always sat, her arms were like sticks and extremely thin, while...
Nature seems to be fond of sexual desire. Put yourself in her place and watch plants and animals engaged in constant reproduction, of course, in an old-fashioned way: male to female. Yet man, is programmed to modify Mother Nature's behavior.
In India, the reward for every man to undergo vasectomy was a transistor radio.
Family planning has its own inadequacies. Men don't like intercourse w...
Sunday 10th June 2012
Monday 18th June 2012
Topic: Crime - Robbery - Violence
"Cash stolen in security van raid in Bingham, Notts"
Source:Source: BBC News
Extract: Two men are being sought by police following the theft of cash from a security van in Bingham, Nottingham.
The Vauxhall van was parked outside Toot Hill School, in The Banks, at about 11:45 BST when thieves struck.
LOS ANGELES - George Clooney, 51, and Stacy Keibler, 32, have now been an item for ten months.
Clooney recently met with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight at The Vicious Guppy Seafood Diner in Marina Del Rey.
Clooney confided in de Gallo t...
Syria has said that that countries athletes will not compete at next month's Olympic Games in London in protest at what Syria claims is a consorted effort by the West to undermine that country's sovereignty.
The pull out means that several event...
A news story about "Levitated Mass," a new exhibit at the L.A. County Museum of Art that accidentally dropped the "M" from the piece's name has sparked threats of a lawsuit against the newspaper.
"After months of waiting, the giant, awe-inspiring...
Wayne Rooney has told friends he is 'confused' by England boss Roy Hodgson comparing him to Brazilian footballing legend Pele.
The Man United striker returned from suspension to score the winner v Ukraine on Tuesday, but told friends before the ma...
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Frenchie Davis appeared in season two of American Idol and was the very first contestant to be disqualified from the musical reality show.
Coquette Eucalyptus with The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette was one of the first reporters...
FRANKLIN, Tennessee - There were no fancy limos in the driveway, no expensive designer dresses to be admired, and no fancy-smelling fragrances imported from the most expensive perfume shops in Paris.
But there were lots of "Howdies," "Evenin' Ma'a...