Spoof news stories from Friday 22 June 2012
So Like, How Did You Become A Spoofer? - Miley From California Replies
How did you become a spoofer?
Miley from Los Angeles replies:
"Well, it's like I was kicking back, and you know, like chillin' by the hot tub, and I kinda got hooked by this article when I Googled Rob Pattinson...man, he's just soooo buff! And, like, this story came up about Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart being like, ah, real life vampires and stuff, and drinking bloody Mary's, you know?...
London Z-listers flock to Brad and Angelina's Midsummer's Day party
Surrey - Bottom-of-the barrel non-entities and other wannabes are arriving in droves at the Hollywood couple's rented pad this weekend located in the Premiership footballers' adultery haven near Oxshott.
The ten bedroom mock-Tudorbethan pile in th...
Charlie Sheen to Play Yet another Character Called "Charlie"...How Quirky
The seemingly never flushing turd that is Charlie Sheen will once again invade American TV with yet another sitcom in which he plays a character called Charlie.
Sheen, who is a bit like that fly you cannot swat, the annoying Auntie who visits all...
Celebrity Barroom Brawls: Can the Reality Show Be Far Behind?
Yes, there may be a new sports celebrity reality show on the horizon: Celebrity Barroom Brawls.
Just this week San Antonio Spurs' star Tony Parker suffered an eye injury after notable offender in music Chris Brown started tossing bottles around a...
Bullied Bus Monitor To Get Own Reality TV Show
Karen Klein the bullied bus monitor is to get her own Reality TV Show, a 10 series book deal, is to release her own brand of clothing and is going to write a cook book as well as release a fitness DVD.
A TV movie is also in the works.
Klein th...
Fat Man in Panties Spotted Outside Library
The infamous fat man in panties, who has been dubbed by the media as the "Fat Panty Man" has been spotted outside a library in Houston, Texas.
It is the second sighting of the man in two days.
Gertrude Sliderpump, 55, claims she spotted the man...
Turkish Jet Shot Down by UFO Over Syria
A Turkish air force jet went down in Syrian waters on Friday, but Turkey's prime minister said he could not confirm media reports that it had been shot down by a UFO.
Turkish and Syrian vessels were searching for the plane - which the media id...
Reg Bond - "My Nights Of Hell With Kristen Stewart!"
Aspiring Burnley chip shop proprietor and former bodyguard to the stars, Reg Bond, today revealed the shocking truth of his interminable "nights of hell" with Twilight Star, Kristen Stewart.
Speaking from his shared room in a B&B in Burnley's...
Sex starved English soccer wives buy Italian sexy underwear!
While English men are downing their pints, talking footy non-stop and looking forward to the quarter final against Italy, their wives are bored and starved of sex!
Many attempts to attract their men into bed and make them jealous have failed inclu...
Paul Ryan AWOL after rumors of visit to his office by "the Penguin"
Wisconsin congressman and union buster Paul Ryan has apparently skipped town amid rumors that nuns angered by statements he made about Catholicism were headed to his office.
"We haven't seen him since last week," a congressional office staffer who...
Roman Polanski asked if he is Anita Dobson's dad
Los Angeles - Decades of rumors have been swept aside as a formal DNA request seeks to verify if the Repulsion/Rosemary's Baby/Frantic director is indeed Ms Dobson's birth father.
The former Eastenders actress and sometime Strictly Come Dancing co...
ACLU takes FDA to Court on Punitive Pizza Ploy
The American Civil Liberties Union announced today that it has filed a lawsuit against the FDA for discriminatory practices against a growing minority group in the USA.
Acording to the lawsuit filed in Federal court, the FDA has illegally mandated...
Obama and Pizza Hut Talks Resume But Still a Stalemate
Crisis talks resumed last night between the President and Pizza Hut over the delivery of a family sized pizza and a bottle of a cola, talks have now entered their third day and there still seems there is no resolution.
The stumbling block it seems...
Unconfirmed Reports Claim Massive Skeleton Found At Loch Ness
Unconfirmed reports from Scotland, suggest that a giant skeleton has washed up on the South shore of the famous Loch Ness, the area has been sealed off by Britain's SAS and roads near the Loch have been blocked and police are stopping anyone from get...
Boston Celtics Dog Doesn't Bark in the Off Season
Celtics fans may wish the team would make like Elvis Presley singing, "Hound Dog," when it comes to making banjo eyes to next season's team.
Instead, it looks like the Danny Ainge will be humming, "How Much is That Doggie in the Window?"
Brando...
LulzSec claim responsibility for Banking systems crash
Thousands of customers were left locked out of their bank accounts across the UK this week as a popular high street bank, that cannot be named for technical reasons, lost complete control of it's computing systems. ATMs, on-line banking and chip and...
Harry Styles To Work On Ken Mither's Chips N Gravy Van At London Olympics
It's just been announced that Harry Styles out of One Direction (Or 1D as they're known to their fans) is to work on Ken Mither's van, serving pies, chips, mushy peas and real gravy to the general public at the London Olympics.
Styles, who was onc...
NASA Claim Voyager 1 Blasted By Unidentified Laser Beam
The Voyager 1 spacecraft, launched from Earth in 1977, has been attacked by an unidentified object, some speculating it could be a UFO or a laser beam fired from just beyond our solar system.
NASA lost contact with the spacecraft at approximately...
England Prepares for Italy
The England football team are getting ready to face the Italians in the European Championship with exclusive videos of Italian Manchester City star Ben Mussolini which give them the lowdown on his exploits.
Wayne Rooney admits that Musso was a tho...
Isle of Wight Renamed
The Queen has graciously accepted the invitation of the Chairman of the Isle of Wight Tourist Board to rename the island as the Isle of Plight. Another suggestion of the Isle of Flight got stuck somewhere near Cows so could not be used.
Unfortunat...
Hopping John Medical Center To Release Full Cannabinoids Study
Baltimore, Maryland - Dr. Hunson Bunnneydew, MD, D.O., J.D, Director of Immunological Studies And Tranny Repair with a shiny head and no tattoo, plans to release the full study:
"Treats of the Impact of Organic Absences on Choice and Treats Of t...
Dog Accidentally Eaten During Fire House Barb-B-Q
TACOMA PARK MARYLAND - Barky the firehouse dog was accidentally eaten during a fund raising bar-b-que held by the Tacoma Park volunteer fire department. A mascot for the station for the past ten years, Barky was a well-loved character in the communit...
Sounds of frantic tunnelling under Ecuador London embassy
London - There have been reports of sudden and unexpected 'basement swimming pool excavations' under the Hans Crescent legation today.
Locals said extradition service bailiffs and undercover cops had been spotted staking out several potential tunn...
Wisconsin wife reportedly attacks husband for reading 'The Spoof'
A Wisconsin woman is reportedly facing charges after she allegedly attacked her husband for reading alternative news websites, including "The Spoof."
Lisa Bradford, 56, was charged Monday in Waukesha County Circuit Court with one count of disorder...
Online Fund Set Up For Man Seen Eating Sandwich on Youtube
An online feel-good fundraising effort for a man who was seen eating a sandwich on youtube has reached $450,000 and is growing, however no one actually knows why the fund was set up in the first place.
More than $450,000 has been donated to David...
Prime Minister kicks off over tax avoiders
Prime Minister Jimmy Ka today accused top comedian David Cameroon of evading tax by investing in notorious night club, "The House of Conmen". Former owner, Cameroon, despite knowing the club would go into receivership, continued to invest heavily and...
Do people not know you're joking? There's an app for that
My Way Apps have released an app that is set to take the Frivolous App Market by storm, iWink.
"This is fantastic," said App World! editor, Mac Buck. "For years I have suffered with people not realising I'm being sarcastic or joking. My cutting w...
A List of 10 Books That Were Rejected By Motion Picture Studios
The majority of motion pictures start off as books. When Margaret Mitchell wrote her Civil War classic Gone With The Wind, she had no idea that Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh would be uttering the words that she wrote in their 1936, War Between The States epic movie Gone With The Wind.
When L. Frank Baum wrote the Wizard of Oz he never envisioned that one day there would be dozens of little dwarf...
Ronaldo Fails New UEFA Smug Test
Real Madrid and Portugal talisman Cristiano Ronaldo faces two years on the sidelines after falling foul of UEFA's new smug testing policy.
This remarkable development is sure to take the shine off his night of glory after guiding his team to a 1-0...
Mitt Romney Blames His Decline In Popularity With Women Voters On Rush Limbaugh
PHOENIX - Mitt Romney traveled to Arizona to meet with his old friend John McCain and ask him for some political pointers.
The two men met in one of the seven mansions owned by John McCain's wife Cindy.
Romney asked McCain what is the best advi...
Euro 2012: Viewers flood BBC with complaints about Portugal's Ronaldo
The BBC were inundated with complaints tonight after the first quarter-final between Portugal and Czech Republic saw Ronaldo winking before the 9pm watershed.
The incident happened at 8.25pm during the first half of the match, just after Ronaldo h...
Sandusky Trial Goes to Jury After Judge Tosses 3 Counts
The Sandusky trial has now gone to the jury after the judged tossed off three count.
The Counts, Dracula, Monte Cristo and Dave were a little surprised when Judge A C Moron ordered then to strip from the waist down, line up in a row outside his of...
Supreme Court to FCC: Make Your Indecency Standards Clear, You Fucking Assholes.
The highest Court in the land voted unanimously to overturn the Friggin' FCC's fines from networks for showing nudity and swearing on TV, in violation of their indecency policy.
The case stems from fines for language and revealing shots that typic...
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