BILLINGSGATE POST - A new report by federal auditors blames a Kansas-based company for possibly cheating Medicare and causing the premature ejaculation of Medicare funds through potentially fraudulent claims involving penis pumps. The auditors are a...
Despite failing to produce the documents requested for the congressional investigation into the Justice Department's botched Fast and Furious gun walking operation Attorney General Eric Holder still managed time to sing karaoke and knock back a coup...
The FA have backed up their long standing view that the introduction of goal-line technology is completely unnecessary, praising the "stand-up job" done by UEFA's additional assistants in the wake of England's controversial 1-0 victory over the Ukrai...
Los Angeles - There were a few tense moments at the recruiting station today as Ms. Alley attempted to enter, albeit sideways.
Things went a bit better after the door was removed, but not much.
Once she caught her breath, she announced, "I'...
An elderly Saddleworth couple were counting the cost of an investment that went badly wrong for them. Eric Stoat (84) and his wife Doris (87) had seen an advertisement on the Internet for a company that was selling acres of the Moon to individual inv...
London - "Stands to reason, innit?" Sir Galahad Belgrano, chief bean counter to the Illuminati said today as the Burmese 'pro-democracy campaigner' arrived in London.
"Gotta be a total fraud for Speaker Bercow to schmooze her like she's some sort...
Plans are afoot to deport Barack Obama from the US after he is defeated in November's election. It is understood that secret talks between Mitt Romney and immigration officials have already taken place and, once Romney is sworn in a s President and...
NAUGATUCK, Connecticut - Mitt Romney's Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour made a stop in the lovely New England town of Naugatuck, Connecticut.
Naugatuck is noted for being the home of the fuchsia-breasted sap sucker, an unusual bird...
Red Sox star and occasional slumper Kevin Youkilis is apparently on the chopping block. The executioner is singing, "Sweet Caroline," one more time.
At least Youk is on the short shopping list. The Red Sox have decided they have a surfeit of playe...
As the follicles of Euro 2012 are plucked away by the tweezers of footballing history, we examine the role of hair - or lack of it - in the world's favourite ball-sport.
Most football fans will tell you that the reason they watch the game is for the hairstyles. But footballers have not always been as hirsute as they are today. During the Middle Ages, only bald men were allowed to play the game.
Infamous Italian substitute and general outrageous loud-mouth, Mario Balotelli (who?), proved last night that his gigantic mouth is bigger than his huge boots.
After receiving 15 minutes of play from the Italian coach, he managed to swing his boot...
Belgium - The secretive Bildaburger Group has chosen cartoon character Gaston to run for the office of President of the United States of America, according to our source, Jamie Rockafeltafish, one of the elite with a big mouth.
According to our so...
The Campaign Dress Review is questioning where the Mitt Romney too tight blue jeans went. The jeans made his movements appear awkward, his feet shuffling with inch-worm steps addressing people to his right, followed by inch-worm steps addressing pe...
London - The find comes nearly one year after the discovery of a dead man 'impersonating a major arcana Tarot card' opposite Buckingham Palace - as reported by QM-NewsCorpse.
"It's an eerie echo of the July 2011 incident," an early morning jogger...
Roger Clemens has been found not guilty on all counts in his eight-week trial, his second go-round over a four-year span. Jurors may have figured the cost of his legal representation likely punished him enough.
A guilty verdict would have been red...
The National Institute for the Deaf have issued a warning about mopeds, as they are concerned that a generation of teenagers will be destroying their hearing.
"In the past we've been worried about teenagers and earphones, rock concerts and talking...
WWE CEO and Chairman Vincent McMahon announced today that his company will be introducing a new category to his famous wrestling shows. The new category is Zombie Wrestling.
Mr. McMahon said in a prepared statement, "For years we've been fighting...
Homoeopathic researchers at the Water Memory Project in Bath have successfully located the homoeopathic trace memory of the very bath water that Archimedes leapt from whilst shouting Eureka three thousand years ago.
"We are bowled over by this dis...
Today world leaders have been barraged with complaints from Zombie United to give aid and comfort to underprivileged zombies.
Zombies United conducted a world-wide survey of zombies walking the different countries and found that seven out of ten...
The floodgates have opened since one of Obama's former professors gave a negative review of his presidency. Now teachers all over the U.S. are talking about their former students.
But unlike the professor's critique of President Obama, these ar...
LONG BEACH, California - President Obama and the first family traveled to Long Beach to take a tour of the RMS Queen Mary which sailed the North Atlantic Ocean from 1936 to 1967.
Malia and Sasha Obama first mentioned that they wanted to visit the...
CATALINA ISLAND, California - Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev flew over to Catalina Island to get a much needed break from the hectic pace of the place called LaLaLand.
The couple has been extremely busy filming Vampire Diaries and working as much...
LOS ANGELES - It is no secret to the members of the Lakers Nation that their superstar Kobe Bryant is not a happy camper and has not been since back in the glory days of Shaquille O'Neal, Robert Horry, and Rick Fox.
Bryant recently confessed to Do...
HOLLYWOOD - It appears that the sophomore edition of X-Factor is having more behind-the-scenes drama that the final season of Desperate Housewives.
X-Factor Judge L.A. Reid recently sat down with Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innuendo at The W...
North America --In an effort to please the three major political parties, citizens have conducted a vote to split North America equally between the three parties. As a result, each party and all those citizens who support it will have approximately t...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former major league baseball pitcher Roger Clemens was found not guilty on all six federal charges that had been filed against him.
The fireballing pitcher known as "The Rocket" joins the ranks of notable individuals who have be...
House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) will be going through an experimental surgery next week. The procedure, developed by Dr. Spina Bifida, will implant a cybernetic spine into the Speaker of The House.
The procedure is expected to last 5 hours and w...
LOS ANGELES - Kirstie Alley was recently spotted at a Tall Timbers Supermarket in Encino with a grocery cart hooked on to a second grocery cart.
According to an employee of the food giant, Ms. Alley had loaded the first shopping cart with items su...
Washington DC: White House Press Secretary Carney announced a new Obama administration initiative to reduce obesity in the USA in the next four years via the No Obese Fat American Taxpayer (NOFAT) Program.
President Obama got the idea for the NO...