Spoof news stories from Wednesday 13 June 2012
Rebekah Brooks is Brave's Princess Merida
Scotland - The plot of Disney's new movie revolves around a flame-haired female Jeffrey Archer character called Princess Merida according to decrypted casting files.
Modelled on ex-NewsCorpse hackette Rebekah Brooks the extraordinarily adept arche...
US Historians Are Deserting Ship like German Tourists Fleeing Empty Buffet
Washington DC - Is today's date a forgery! Historians are getting harder and harder to find, particularly historians who specialize in American history.
All over DC, people are sneaking out of back windows, climbing down drainpipes and making furtive efforts to move down dark streets without being seen. These men and women are not taking a vacation - they are running for their lives becaus...
Irish lose their friendliest nation title...to the Scots
The world's friendliest people, the Irish, are no longer the world's friendliest people after a survey revealed that the Scottish are more friendly.
"We have been sending the Scottish people on a friendliness course," said Hamish Bacon, Scottish F...
Harry Redknapp Sacked - David Moyes Spotted Boarding London Train At Liverpool Lime Street
Skoob Sports News can officially confirm that Harry Redknapp has been sacked by Tottenham Hotspur, after failing to secure a Champions League spot for the club next season.
Despite finishing fourth last season, Spurs were pipped at the post thanks...
Long Island Villager Gets 2 Years in Jail for Not Mowing Lawn
An 85 year old veteran was sentenced to 24 months jail time after he became the first resident to fall foul of Massapequa Park village's new law, which came into effect today which made it a criminal offense for homeowners not to maintain their prope...
Amelia Earhart's Radio Calls: Study Leads to Radio Calls Before There Were Radios!
We're not only learning a lot about Amelia Earhart's radio transmissions concerning her downed flight in 1937, but we're also learning about the radio transmissions of many other figures throughout history.
And this includes more than just trans...
Harry Redknapp leaves Tottenham Hotspur
Harry Redknapp shocked the world of football today by leaving his cushty job at Tottenham Hotspurs and declared he will move to Monaco to spend more time with his family.
After being overlooked for the England job - which he was installed as favou...
Ronaldo's Ego Escapes in Ukraine
Reports from Ukraine this evening claim that the ego of Portugese superstar Christiano Ronaldo has escaped and is currently on the loose in the city of Lviv. The footballer had been celebrating his national team's thrilling victory over Denmark in th...
Euro 2012: Roy Hodgson applies for Chelsea job
Roy Hodgson has secretly sent his CV to Chelsea owner Roman Abramovitch after the 1-1 draw between England and France at Euro 2012 after a comment from Patrice Evra in a post-match interview.
When asked his opinion on England's defensive style of...
Miss Pennsylvania Has Reportedly Gone Into The Witness Protection Program
MANHATTAN - It appears by all accounts that the former Miss Pennsylvania, Sheena Junglevina Monnin, has gone into the nation's Witness Protection Program.
The WPP is usually only reserved for members of the Mafia after they turn state's evidence a...
A (very) brief interview with an American Patriot
Chantilly, VA - Activist Alex Jones is a busy guy, even when he's not busy roasting Bilderburgers. Sometimes he gets to have breakfast, too. I recently caught up to him in a place even Guy Fieri wouldn't care to classify.
(paCHU) "Good morning, so you're the guy from Spoof News, right? How are you? Have some coffee before it gets to the bottom." (paCHU) … (SQEAL)… (paCHU) "You'll stic...
Joy Behar Sets Fire to Herself by Accident in Attempt to Burn down Mitt Romney's House - Firemen Tell Her She Is An "Idiot"
Angry firemen have blasted TV personality Joy Behar for setting fire to her wig in a botched attempt at burning down Mitt Romney's beach house, located in the West Virginian countryside.
Earlier today Behar, 76 and bald, after a regrettable incid...
Miss USA Rigged? I Think So Says Miss Cellulite
While another Miss USA contestant has come forward saying she heard Miss Florida Karina Brez reveal the list of the completion's finalists backstage before the pageant's Top 15 were even announced, Miss Cellulite, 43 year old waitress Maggie Flab say...
Elvis Presley to reform
The King of Rock'n'Roll, Elvis Aaron Presley, it set to make a shock comeback to the music scene thirty five years after his death.
"We've just developed the technology to reconstitute a whole human being from just a puddle of preserved vomit," sa...
Lindsay Lohan Exchanged Nude "Full Frontals" With Bin Laden: Helped Set Up Raid
BILLINGSGATE POST - Robert Gates, the former defense secretary, reportedly blasted the national security team in the Obama White House for blabbing about Lindsay Lohan's role in the raid to kill Osama bin Laden.
In an interview with Barbara Walter...
Little Fox Alerts Security Of Terrorist Plot At Olympic Park!
The government has raised the UK's current terrorist threat level to 'severe', meaning a terrorist attack is now thought to be 'highly likely', following an incident at the new Olympic Park in East London this morning after a fox was seen outside the...
Sex for Undercover Police, if their cover is a 'blow job'!!
Westminster Hall, LONDON: Home Office Minister, Nick Herbert, has importantly announced that Undercover Police, can have sex with suspects, if abstaining would 'blow job' their cover...
Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000 (RIPA) allows un...
Street evacuated after man bores people to death
A street in Doncaster has been evacuated following reports of a man, named locally as Barry Bazooka, boring people to death.
It is understood that Bazooka has recently returned from a two-week vacation in Florida and has been telling anyone and ev...
Customer Service Representative Lives In Office Building
Philadelphia, PA-- Mary Smith is the perfect employee! Mary works for the XXX Electric Company as a customer service rep. She's always the first one at her desk in the morning and the last to leave at night. She loves working overtime and weekends...
George Zimmerman's Wife Arrested! Rev. Al Sharpton Reportedly Does Three Back Flips
SANFORD, Florida - Well it appears that The Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus has come to Sanford.
Just when it seems that the Zimmerman Saga could not get any weirder, Georgy Porgy's wife Shellie "Belly" Zimmerman comes out of the wo...
John Travolta's Directorial Debut Confuses Co-Star Tom Hardy
Actor Tom Hardy says he was slightly confused while filming his new movie, a remake of the 1990 gangster movie "Goodfellas", directed by John Travolta, who also co-stars, as he did not recall any naked shower scene or stolen kiss between Henry Hill,...
Occupy London riffraff to be booted off Hampstead Heath
London - Dozens of attention deficient hoi polloi campers' tents have pitched up on London's Hampstead Heath as assorted opportunist pre-Solstice tree huggaz vie for media recognition.
This morning demonstrators took over part of the Vale of Healt...
Danny Dyer to Host Britain's Hardest Satire Writers
Cockney hard man Danny Dyer is to embark on his toughest mission yet: rolling with the tough guys of Britain's amateur satire writing scene, and it's going to get messy.
The six episode series will begin Wednesday on Sky 3, sandwiched between Ross...
10 Things To Do Whilst Waiting For a Slow Computer
Here, in the latest in his series "10 Things to Do," Nigel St. Faversham explores the options available to those of us struggling with a slow computer. Whether due simply to a full memory, or corrupted to oblivion with countless tics and viruses from the internet, a quick run-through our Top Ten will soon restore your love affair with the laptop, or at the very least keep that stroke at bay for ju...
Miami Heat and Oklahoma City Thunder: Case of the Missing "S"
Of all NBA teams, only Miami Heat and Oklahoma City Thunder fail to come up with an "s" for the cheerleaders.
For the first time in history of the NBA, neither team in the Finals is giving us a letter called 's' to conjure on the front of their je...
Nobel Foundation Hit By Euro Crisis
The world renowned and respected Nobel Foundation has announced sweeping changes to the granting of its annual awards, in a move which has been prompted by the continuing financial turmoil which is engulfing Europe.
The awards are the legacy of Al...
Lindsay Lohan Is Denying That She Was "Sexting" When She Slammed Her Porsche Into The Back Of The 18-Wheeler
VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan was laying out by the pool in a very skimpy yellow bikini at her mansion Lucky LohanLand.
She had just got off the phone with her attorney Shawn "Buddy" Holley who has informed her that she may be facing charges of dri...
OAP Questioned Over Indecent Exposure
Greater Madchester Police questioned an old age pensioner yesterday after she began exposing herself to passes by in a local Lidl's. An eyewitness to the event, described the OAP as losing the plot completely. The traumatised witness said: She came...
Charlie Sheen Says That Contrary To All The Rumors He And Whoopi Goldberg Are Not An Item
SHERMAN OAKS - Charlie Sheen has been described as being to common sense what Sarah "The Moose Mama" Palin is to geography.
But the 46-year-old laughs and says that sticks and stones can break his bones but if you really want to hurt him make 603...
Tea Burnt Man's Lips
We've all done it at some time in the past - taken a rather-too-large sip of a piping hot, freshly-brewed cup of tea - immediately realising, all too late, that it was a tad hotter than we'd imagined, and scalded our mouths and throats!
WORK
We...
"Prince Harry, Cheryl Cole, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry And Pixie Lott On Mustique Party Break" Says Verity Warbling-Trollblog
SEN's very own Entertainment and Gossip News ace, Ms Verity Warbling-Trollblog has just released the news on her website that Prince Harry, Cheryl Cole, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry and Pixie Lott have all travelled to the Caribbean island of Mustique f...
"Prince Harry Was Lustfully Ogling And Lasciviously Coveting Jessie J At The Jubilee Concert" Says Verity Warbling-Trollblog
It seemed innocuous at the time, but Skoob Entertainment News's hottest gossip reporter, Verity Warbling-Trollblog today revealed on her syndicated website that when Jessie J was performing on stage with Black Eyed Peas singer, Will i Am at the Diamo...
"Rhianna Has Shaved Her Head And Dyed Her Scalp Green!" Says Verity Warbling-Trollblog
Shocking news just in from Las Vegas - as it's revealed that Rihanna has shaved all the hair off her head and dyed her scalp green, partially in honour of the Irish football team at the European Championships, and partly because she wants to repeat t...
Jessica Simpson Is Very Depressed - Says She Looks Like A Blonde Moby Dick
HOLLYWOOD - Jessica Simpson delivered her 9 pound 13 ounce baby six weeks ago and the actress/singer is still upset at the fact that she has hardly lost any of the weight she gained during her 10-month pregnancy.
Her fiancé Eric Johnson says that...
Amish Pirates Seize Freighter "Bilderburger" off Portugal.
From Independent News Agencies in Lisbon and a Portuguese cabdriver named Mac-The German freighter. "Bilderburger" was commandeered by "Yoder (the Boater) Geronimo and his gang of naval carpenters who quickly raised a barn around the ship and tra...
Rioting Tunas - Is It The "Zombie Virus"?
Tunas and several other Scombridae, such as mackerels have declared an overnight curfew in three major oceans, including the Atlantic, in the wake of serious rioting.
The eight-hour curfew was introduced after several violent attacks in protest...
Euro 2012: Italy's Antonio Cassano Confused Over Religion
More controversy at Eurovision 2012 in Poland/Ukraine last night, as Italy's Antonio Cassano became known as "a bit of an idiot" after a glaring error on the subject of religion.
Known as a bit of an idiot by me, that is.
Cassano, who had earli...
Man Steps On Crack, Breaks Mother's Back
Philadelphia, PA-- A local man is being questioned by police tonight after he stepped on a crack in the sidewalk. Mr. Eduardo Spaghetti stepped on a crack in front of his house. The misstep instantly broke his mother's back. Mrs. Mia Spaghetti wa...
|
| Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun | ||||||||||||||
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||
Mailing List
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!