The Spoof : Jun 2012 spoof news stories

iPhone 5 features leaked

The much anticipated iPhone 5 has to be special, with the rest of the smart phone market catching up to the Apple flagship and in some cases overtaking it. "We've been examining Apple patents," said Mac Buck, editor of App World! magazine. "For a...

George Clooney Shocker: He Finds A Baby Name Book In Girlfriend Stacy Keibler's Purse

LOS ANGELES - George Clooney, 51, and Stacy Keibler, 32, have now been an item for ten months. Clooney recently met with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight at The Vicious Guppy Seafood Diner in Marina Del Rey. Clooney confided in de Gallo t...

A List of 10 Books That Were Rejected By Motion Picture Studios

The majority of motion pictures start off as books. When Margaret Mitchell wrote her Civil War classic Gone With The Wind, she had no idea that Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh would be uttering the words that she wrote in their 1936, War Between The States epic movie Gone With The Wind. When L. Frank Baum wrote the Wizard of Oz he never envisioned that one day there would be dozens of little dwarf...

The Stars of The Vampire Diaries Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Address The Skinny Dipping Rumors

CATALINA ISLAND, California - Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev flew over to Catalina Island to get a much needed break from the hectic pace of the place called LaLaLand. The couple has been extremely busy filming Vampire Diaries and working as much...

Obama Dumps Biden; Names Apple's Siri As His Running Mate

Washington, DC - Faced with declining poll numbers and a withering economy, President Barack Obama has dropped Vice President Joe Biden from the Democratic presidential election ticket, selecting Apple's digital assistant Siri as his new running mate...

Justin Bieber's Mom Pleads With Him To Enter Into A Rehab Clinic To Deal With His Anger

LA BREA - Justin Bieber's mom Pattie Mallette, 36, was in La Brea visiting the world famous La Brea Tar Pits. She was quietly sitting in the La Brea Tar Pits Diner lunching on a Pancho Villa Deluxe Chicken Fajita Plate when she was approached by M...

Kate Gosselin Admits That She Did In Fact Get A Tramp Stamp Tattoo With Russell Brand's Initials

SAN FRANCISCO - Kate Gosselin and boyfriend Russell Brand traveled to San Francisco to see The Golden Gate Bridge, which Kate said she had been wanting to see ever since she was 26-years-old. The 37-year-old mother of eight, including sextuplets a...

Mitt Romney Is So Desperate To Be The Next President That He Has Announced He Is Changing His Religion

TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - Mitt Romney's presidential campaign tour bus pulled into Tuscaloosa, Alabama, the town made famous by the 60s Petula Clark song, "Me Bloomin' Heart's In Merry Olde England But Me Naughty Bits Are In Tuscaloosa." Romney spoke...

Christina Aguilera Explains The Reason For Her Tremendous Weight Gain

LOS ANGELES - Christina Aguilera recently stated that she has become somewhat depressed at the seemingly never-ending comments, remarks, and jokes regarding her recent incredibly stupendous weight gain. She told Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors that...

Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens To Star In The New TV Series, "The Zombie Chronicles"

HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for The Epitome Network has just announced that The Zombie Chronicles will be premiering in two weeks. The cable series is being directed by noted motion picture director Charleen Belle Pinnzucker who has worked with Dem...

Lindsay Lohan Is Denying That She Was "Sexting" When She Slammed Her Porsche Into The Back Of The 18-Wheeler

VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan was laying out by the pool in a very skimpy yellow bikini at her mansion Lucky LohanLand. She had just got off the phone with her attorney Shawn "Buddy" Holley who has informed her that she may be facing charges of dri...

Tom Cruise's "Rock of Ages" Bombs and Sinks At The Box Office Quicker That A Canoe Loaded With Hippos

HOLLYWOOD - The producer, director, writers, and financial backers of the motion picture Rock of Ages are all shockingly stunned and scratching their collective heads and asking, what in the syncopated' world of musical scales happened? Ticket sal...

The Green Lantern Comes Out of The Closet

CHICAGO - In a move that even caught the Las Vegas oddsmakers by surprise the DC Comics super hero The Green Lantern has just come out of the closet and announced that he is gay. One of the biggest Green Lantern fans in the nation, Bryton "Skippy"...

"For God's Sake Leave Harry Styles Out Of One Direction Alone!" Says Verity Warbling-Trollblog

Following tabloid revelations that Harry Styles out of One Direction has been subjected to online and face to face abuse, SEN's very own Ms Verity Warbling-Trollblog has publicly appealed for people to get off Harry's case, leave him alone, and give...

The Once Great NFL Player Terrell Owens Released By The Allen Wranglers After Being Demoted To Driving The Team Bus

ALLEN, Texas - The football career of Terrell Owens has continued spiraling downward and it has just about hit rock bottom. The 38-year-old who had joined the Indoor Football League's Allen Wranglers had been demoted from being a starter to playin...

The New Samsung Galaxy S3 is an iPhone beater, but...

The UK's fastest selling phone since the iPhone has been widely accepted as being superior in every respect to even the coveted iPhone 4, with Siri turned off. However, adopters of the phone have noticed that there is one thing it doesn't do, that ev...

Demi Moore's Daughter Rumer Willis Admits She Is Infatuated With Ashton Kutcher

LOS ANGELES - Ashton Kutcher is not denying the fact that he and Rumer Willis, the 23-year-old daughter of his ex-wife Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, recently took a trip down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico to get away from the fast lane life of Tinsel Town...

Holder Admits to 'Fast and Furious' Foul-Up: 'We Forgot the Drugs'

Washington DC - Under mounting pressure to disclose more details about the government's Fast and Furious gun-running fiasco, Attorney General Eric Holder revealed today that the effort failed because a "drug tracking" component of the operation was n...

Prince Harry And Cheryl Cole Fly Down To Monaco For A Romantic Weekend Break On Roman Abramovich's Yacht

The latest news to hit the gossip columns suggests that Prince Harry, and former Girls Aloud favourite Cheryl Cole may be an item, after the two were spotted boarding a private jet at Farnborough Airfield, early Saturday evening, allegedly heading fo...

Simon Cowell Talks About New X-Factor Judges Britney Spears and Demi Lovato And He Reveals That He Is Considering Hiring Two Hosts

HOLLYWOOD - It has been over four months since the infamous January X-Factor Massacre in which Simon Cowell fired X-Factor host Steve "Vanilla Man" Jones along with two of the three judges Paula "Touchdown" Abdul and Nicole "Teardrops" Scherzinger.

A List of 10 Vampire Movies To Be Released This Summer

Paragovo Gabskigrad of Sofia, Bulgaria is considered to be the world's foremost expert on vampires. He wrote in his most recent book titled 7,001 Amazingly Amazing Facts About Vampires that vampires have been around ever since September of 1047. Gabskigrad noted that 865 years later in 1912, the first vampire movie was filmed. The motion picture was shot in Great Britain and the title w...

Jennifer Aniston Buys Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie A Volcano

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Jennifer Aniston has finally accepted the fact that Brad Pitt has decided to make Angelina Jolie his wife. And America's sweetheart, Aniston not Jolie, is dealing with her empty feelings and trying to move on knowing that her and...

Republicans Unveil a Do-It-Yourself Healthcare Plan

Washington DC - Desperate to take the lead in the nation's never-ending healthcare debate, Congressional Republicans are massing behind an initiative that would provide all Americans with a do-it-yourself medical kit containing everything they need t...

Cameron haunted by 'It's Not Like We're Brothers!' jibe about Nick Clegg

London - Secret DNA-harvesting sensors installed in House of Commons urinals have finally registered their biggest hit. Months of meticulous 'taking the piss' have thrown up new data on Nick Clegg's bloodlines, first flagged up as suspicious follo...

Mitt Romney Admits That His Father Was Born In Mexico - Donald Trump Wants To See His Birth Certificate

GREEN RIVER, Wyoming - Mitt Romney's presidential campaign tour "Old Mittens Covers America" pulled into Green River. The town was made famous by Creedence Clearwater Revival back in 1969, when lead singer John Fogerty sang the hit song "Green Riv...

Tsunami-Driven Toyota Dealership Washes Up In California

Venice, California - Japan's 2011 tsunami has brought yet another surprise to American shores. A Toyota dealership, complete with a sales staff and a service dapartment, has landed on the beach here, less than a week after a Japanese fishing doc...

NATO on High Alert As UFO's Buzz More Turkish Jets. Syria Claim Aliens Attempting To Spark Nuclear War

A spokeswoman says NATO's governing body will meet Tuesday to discuss the Alien downing of a Turkish plane in Syrian airspace and suspicions that maybe a UFO was not responsible for the attack, a clear act of war, but maybe the Syrian's themselves.

Coffee Chain Takes Over Spain's Banks; Euro to Be Replaced with the Starbuck

Madrid - The Starbucks Corporation has injected a shot of caffeine into the world's financial system, taking over Spain's devastated banking system so it can replace bank branches with Starbucks outlets. "Banks are not cool," said Dylan Prather, E...

Bill Maher Becomes Part Owner of The New York Mets - Receives 9,000 Phone Calls Asking For Free Tickets

NEW YORK CITY - Bill Maher is an observational sociopolitical commentator, which in English 101, means that he bitterly makes remarks about politics and the big boys and girls who participate in the quasi-dysfunctional p world (political). Maher p...

Dancing With The Stars' Maksim Chmerkovskiy Says The Alluringly Sexy Peta Murgatroyd Has Quick-Stepped Into His Heart

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - This year's winning couple on Dancing With The Stars was Green Bay Packers wide receiver Donald Driver and professional Australian dancer Peta Murgatroyd. The talented football player showed the nation that not only can he...

New "Zombie" Like Disease Spreading Across North America

The American CDC (Center for Disease Control) and Homeland Security have issued "cautionary" warnings regarding a new blood borne virus that may have infected a "minute" number of people across pockets of the United States. Symptoms of the virus i...

Third Mayan stone inscription says 'Sorry for the f**k-up, soothsayers OD'd on peyote!"

La Corona, Guatemala - The Mayan end-of-daze Calendar has been finally outed as total crap after archaeologists found a turd - er...third! - vital clue in some ancient masonry. Newly discovered tablets from a Guatemalan apothecary's cave poo-poo t...

NFL Investigating Gaga's Concussion; Madonna Suspected

New York City - The National Football League's Special Task Force on Head Injuries has begun a formal investigation of a recent onstage incident involving Lady Gaga, a metal pipe and a concussion. Gaga suffered the concussion earlier this week dur...

Harry and William sang different words to God Save the Queen at the Diamond Jubilee

Prince Harry and Prince William did not sing the traditional words to the National Anthem during the Diamond Jubilee finale. Expert Lip readers were brought in to attempt to work out what they were singing. "We think they were singing something ab...

Poor Decision In Pacquio Bradley Bout Reignites Calls For Fights To Be Decided by "Last Man Standing' Only Rule

Timothy Bradley shook the boxing world after a stunning split decision against Manny Pacquiao to win the WBO welterweight title. Unfortunately Pacquiao appeared to dominate Bradley during the fight at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on Saturday night,...

Sneezing Monkeys Land Commercial Endorsements

Sneezing monkeys have a lot to celebrate. They were recently named to Arizona State University's annual Top 10 New Species list. And there's more. The resulting publicity has had an amazing side effect. The sneezing monkeys have signed contra...

"Zombie" Virus Could Have Come From Nigeria

The American CDC (Center for Disease Control) and Homeland Security are denying unconfirmed reports that the so called "Zombie" virus that has now affected well over 300 people in North America may have originated in Nigeria and that a Nigerian natio...

Joan Rivers Says That Lindsay Lohan Needs To Get Into Rehab Soon Before She Totally Implodes!

NEW YORK CITY - Joan Rivers traveled back to her beloved New York City to spend some time with some old friends and to visit her $50 million. The undisputed "Queen of Mean" talked with Tilapia Frisbee of The Right Coast Illustrated Revue and said...

A List of 10 Little Known Facts About Paul McCartney of The Beatles

Paul McCartney played the bass guitar with The Beatles which is the most famous band in the history of recorded music. The Beatles got their start back in the early 60s at Liverpool's Cavern Club. At one time they were actually known as The Silver Beatles but McCartney suggested that the the name be shortened to just The Beatles in order to be able to fit the name on the front of Ringo's Lud...

Arizona Immediately Bans All Green Lantern Bobblehead Dolls After The Super Hero Announces He's Gay

PHOENIX - In a move that has surprised many fans of The Green Lantern, the state of Arizona has banned the sale of all Green Lantern Bobblehead Dolls. According to Taffeta Kixx with the iRumors News Agency, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has just sig...

Lindsay Lohan's Upskirt Photo Reveals An Interesting Secret

LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan and her mom Dina attended a Selena Gomez concert at The San Andreas Fault Coliseum. As mother and daughter were exiting Lohan's limo the paparazzi were treated to an upskirt display that they had not seen since Britney...

Wow! Signal Has Been Finally Decoded and It Did Come From Aliens

The Wow! signal, a mysterious radio transmission detected in 1977 that it is now confirmed came from extraterrestrials, has finally been deciphered and the message translated into English. The Wow! signal is the only piece of incoming data to have...

Beyonce Agrees To Appear In A Sexy Swimsuit Calendar To Benefit The Retired Pole Dancers of America

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Beyonce has lost all of her baby weight and then some. Even Kim Kardashian's boyfriend Kanye West mentioned that the new mama looks as fine as kiwi wine. Beyonce, was recently informed by YoDelle Denzel St. Bling, with Afro Sheen...

KKK Supports Obama for Reelection 2012

The current Grand Wizard's of the Klu Klux Klan Forrest Wayne Rattliff, Jed Jordan, and Ryan Hanson, and Taylor Woodson Murphy have voiced their support of President Obama for 2012. In a statement prepared today, KKK Grand Wizard Forrest Wayne Rat...

Funny story: LeBron James Promises That The Miami Heat Will Win The NBA Championship Against The Oklahoma City Thunder Or He'll Donate $2 Million To The State of Oklahoma

LeBron James Promises That The Miami Heat Will Win The NBA Championship Against The Oklahoma City Thunder Or He'll Donate $2 Million To The State of Oklahoma

MIAMI - LeBron James told Tango Brisket of Sports Territory Magazine that since defeating the Boston Celtics in game seven of the NBA's Eastern Conference Finals his size 16 shoes have not touched the ground. He said that he has only managed to sl...

View 'LeBron James Promises That The Miami Heat Will Win The NBA Championship Against The Oklahoma City Thunder Or He'll Donate $2 Million To The State of Oklahoma'

Twitter Birdies Pull Work Stoppage

Most folks thought it was just a plain old "outage" when there was no Twitter for a while on Thursday. But that's not the whole story. The Spoof has learned that the real reason for the problem (although the company denies it) is that the Twitt...

President Obama Has Decided To Make Mexico The USA's 51st State

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama and Vice-President Biden were recently sitting out in the White House Rose Garden discussing ways of attracting more voters. The vice-president had suggested that a great way to get millions of voters would be fo...

Prince Philip Says: "I'm Not Going To The Bloody Sodding Royal Pageant On The Buggering Thames In No Barge And That's That!"

Following Prince Philip's Friday night "Stuff the ruddy buggering Diamond Jubilee!" tirade, Buckingham Palace staff were forced to flee the building again on Saturday evening, when the Prince flatly refused to go on a glorified barge in the Great Jub...

Oprah to sell off sofa that Tom Cruise jumped on

Following the news that Katie Holmes has filed for divorce from actor husband Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey has used the news to advertise her Sunday morning Hollywood garage sale. Writing on Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook and Craiglist the entrepreneur...

President Obama Warns Donald Trump To Drop The Birth Certificate Issue Or Risk Being Deported

PEACHTREE CITY, Georgia - President Obama was in Savannah speaking in the Peach Pit Auditorium before a gathering of the Retired Peach Pickers of Peachtree City. He told them that he was proud of the tremendous job that they had done and told them...

Nadya Suleman, Alias "OctoMom" Says That Making One X-Rated Porn Movie Does Not Make Her A Porn Star

TARZANA - The most famous mother of octuplets in the world, Nadya Suleman has just completed filming her very first porn film. Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo sat down with the mother of 14 at The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo in Tarz...

Sarah Palin Says She Wants To One Day Run For President But Reveals The Reason Why She Can't

WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah Palin has written a book in which she talks about her future presidential aspirations. The book is titled How My Lack of Geographical Knowledge Sunk My Friggin Political Halibut Boat All To Hell. Palin co-authored the bo...

Signs you are about to be attacked by a drone

These days, the air is filled with drones, buzzing about in search of their assigned targets. The obvious question is, how can you tell when there is a drone with your name in it? After doing extensive research on this topic, I have a prepared a list of the ten most reliable indicators that you may be about to be stung by a drone: 1. You get a lot of calls from "pdr2". 2. You hear mosqui...

Simon Cowell Says If X-Factor Judges Britney Spears and Demi Lovato Don't Stop Fighting He'll Fire Them Both

LOS ANGELES - Simon Cowell had just returned to his X-Factor office building after taking his brand new $1 million Veyron Bugatti for a spin up the Pacific Coast Highway to Oxnard. He was met by Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight. The two ex...

'Department of Common Sense' Would Rescue America

Washington DC -- A group of activists, academics and other concerned citizens is calling for the creation of a cabinet-level "Department of Common Sense" to improve the quality of decision-making in the nation's capital. "America is in near crisis...

Political Facebook - President Obama and Vice-President Joe Biden

POLITICAL FACEBOOK President Obama: Hey Joey you wanna get a burger later on this afternoon? 2:03 p.m. Vice-President Biden: Sounds good Barry, you buyin'? 2:07 p.m. President Obama: Does Donald Trump have the stupidest looking hairdo you have ever seen? 2:10 p.m. Vice-President Biden: Gotcha boss. Say I was wondering you aren't planning on making anymore sports remarks today are ya...

Verity Warbling-Trollblog Ordered To Dish The Dirt On Harry Styles And Justin Bieber

It's been revealed that SEN supremo, Buffty Ginslinger has ordered ace gossip reporter Verity Warbling-Trollblog to dish the dirt on Harry Styles out of One Direction and Canadian crooner, Justin Bieber. Insiders say that Ginslinger has been disap...

Book Review: Fifty Shades of Shit!

I had the misfortune of being assigned by my book club to read E.L. James' "Fifty Shades of Grey", the British authors book originally penned as "Twighlight" fanfiction, then re-written, with original characters, making it a standalone piece. It is the first in a trilogy and, I know, I am late to the ball game here as it has been reviewed, praised and written about a thousand times, but not yet,...

Porn Film Industry Searching for New Actors / Actresses.

Remember back in the day when you hid your "stag" films from your mom and dad? How about going to those bachelor parties and watching curvaceous babes popping out of cakes or stripping for the groom-to-be? Those were the good old days but guess what...

Spider-Man Has Sandwich Named for Him at Carnegie Deli

It's Spider-Man week in NYC. To celebrate, the world-famous Carnegie Deli has announced a special sandwich. It's called "The Spidey." At Grand Central Station yesterday the man himself talked about the sandwich and said he couldn't wait to dig his...

Glasgow Rangers apply to the Welsh Premier League

Demoted and disgraced former Scottish Premier League winners, Glasgow Rangers, have applied to join the Welsh Premier League after being told that the only Scottish League that would accept them, was the Hebrides Third Division. "It's no good," sa...

Lady Gaga Addresses The Scandalous Rumors About Her and Heidi Montag

TARZANA, California - Lady Gaga was backstage relaxing after having performed to a sold-out crowd at The Gary Busey International Speedway. The New York City songstress was extremely overjoyed as she had received a total of four encores. She t...

Rajon Rondo of The Boston Celtics Asks To Be Traded

BOSTON - The Revolutionary War town of Boston is still upset that its round ballers, the Boston Celtics got eliminated in the NBA Eastern Conference Championship series 4 games to 3. Dottie Bazooka, female reporter with Sports Balls Illustrated We...

Charlie Sheen to Play Yet another Character Called "Charlie"...How Quirky

The seemingly never flushing turd that is Charlie Sheen will once again invade American TV with yet another sitcom in which he plays a character called Charlie. Sheen, who is a bit like that fly you cannot swat, the annoying Auntie who visits all...

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Buy 1% Interest In The World Champion Miami Heat

LOS ANGELES - One of America's happiest couples, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, has just become even happier. Bieber and Gomez have just been informed that their request to purchase 1% ownership in the recently crowned NBA champions the Miami Hea...

Lourdes Leon to study Anthropology at London's School of Oriental and African Studies

New York - The fifteen year-old daughter of Madonna and Carlos Manuel Leon has won a scholarship to study Social Anthropology at the prestigious University of London college. A phone call to the Ciccone family's Manhattan residence this weekend co...

Heidi Klum Divorce Battle Heats Up - Joins Canadian Hunters to Champion Seal Fur

The so called amicable split earlier this year between what was deemed Hollywood's most solid marriage has taken a turn for the worse. Heidi Klum has revealed the depth of her anger as she turned on her soon to be ex-husband and launched a damagi...

David Letterman Tells Justin Bieber He'll Pay To Have His Brand New Tattoo Removed

NEW YORK CITY - Many felt that talk show host David Letterman was a little too rough with one of his recent guests, Justin Bieber. Letterman noticed Justin's brand new "Believe" tattoo which he had just gotten on his left arm just below his bicep.

President Obama Plans To Legalize Marijuana Two Days Before The November Presidential Election

SAN FRANCISCO - President Obama visited The Golden Gate City of San Francisco where he spoke to a boisterous crowd at The Veni Vidi Vici Coliseum. The president told the crowd of 13,739, that he wants them to know that the future lies with today's...

Lindsay Lohan Totals Her Porsche - California State Troopers Rule Out Cosmetics

SANTA MONICA - Lindsay Lohan is one very, very lucky young starlet after being involved in an accident on the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) that totaled her black Porsche. According to California State Troopers Aaron Twixfellino and Hamilton Leno, n...

The Four Suspended New Orleans Saints Players Blame "BountyGate" On President Obama

NEW ORLEANS - Two of the four suspended "BountyGate" players on the NFL New Orleans Saints team recently met for dinner at the luxurious Hotel Ooh La La on Bourbon Street. Linebacker Jonathan "Bam-Bam" Vilma, who received a one year suspension, di...

Nottingham Forest boy: "I made it all up!"

Nottingham - A feral 'Forest' boy who turned up at The Kop claiming he'd spent five wild years foraging for a living at the City Ground has been outed as a fraud. A news conference this morning saw police, social services and football groundsmen i...

Anna Chapman, The Former Russian Spy To Star With Ron Jeremy and Johnny Depp In The Spy Thriller "Undercover Cuddling"

HOLLYWOOD - Noted Italian director Bandini Borrapelli has worked with some of the most popular and most beautiful actresses including Nina Dobrev, Mila Kunis, Paris Hilton, and Sofia Vergara. He recently spoke with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle T...

Charlie Sheen Throws A Fit At The NHL Stanley Cup Finals in Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES - Well it appears that the old Charlie Sheen has returned from the "Land of The Spaced Out" and has made an appearance at L.A.'s Staples Center. According to Fuchsia Garfunkel with The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle Sheen had gone to th...

Jennifer Aniston Gets Quite A Shock Regarding Her Relationship With Justin Theroux

TARZANA, California - Jennifer Aniston recently attended a music concert featuring Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz. The concert was held at the newly opened Gary Busey International Speedway which is located on a tract of land that was once...

"Prince Harry Not Remotely Interested In Cheryl Cole Or Katy Perry" Says Verity Warbling-Trollblog

Following their appearance together on the Graham Norton Show, where Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry expressed a very public interest in the UK's most eligible bachelor boy, Prince Harry, by inviting him to 'call them,' - SEN's Verity Warbling Trollblog s...

Ashley Olsen Angry At Her Twin Sister Mary-Kate For Dating A Man Almost Old Enough To Be Their Grandfather

NEW YORK CITY - For most of their lives the Olsen twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley have pretty much agreed on everything from acting to fashion designing and from salad ingredient choices to their favorite American Idol contestant. The 25-year-old twin...

U.S. Olympian Lolo Jones Sacrifices Virginity for Olympic Dream

Eugene, OR - Self-declared "virgin" and Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones was having a rough season. Four years after a stumble on the ninth hurdle cost her a gold medal at the Beijing games, Jones didn't seem to have even a remote shot at redemption. Enter...

Madonna Reignites Her Feud With Lady Gaga

TEL AVIV, Israel - Before her concert at Tel Aviv's Smiling Camel Arena, Madonna had expressed that she was feeling very ill from the remnants of jet lag. She was given several glasses of homogenized camel milk and she remarked that it made her fe...

Vampires Mashup with Umpires for the Next TV Trend

Hollywood - Television is drawing new blood from the legends of Transylvania, combining vampires and umpires to create the next big viewing trend. "We knew the vampire concept was losing steam when retail sales of artificial fangs started drop...

Britney Spears defends George Zimmerman

Britney Spears has come to the defense of George Zimmerman. Spears has inserted herself into the debate surrounding the problems experienced by Trayvon Martin. "I want to become the public face of George Zimmerman, because I'm a good ol' girl from...

Harry Styles To Work On Ken Mither's Chips N Gravy Van At London Olympics

It's just been announced that Harry Styles out of One Direction (Or 1D as they're known to their fans) is to work on Ken Mither's van, serving pies, chips, mushy peas and real gravy to the general public at the London Olympics. Styles, who was onc...

New Yorkers Tired of Bending Over for 'Stop and Frisk'; Cops Suggest Alternatives

New York - The heat is on the "stop and frisk" powers of the NYPD. Heavy political pressure has prompted Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly to develop alternatives to a procedure that allows police to detain and search anyone, at any time, withou...

John Travolta's Directorial Debut Confuses Co-Star Tom Hardy

Actor Tom Hardy says he was slightly confused while filming his new movie, a remake of the 1990 gangster movie "Goodfellas", directed by John Travolta, who also co-stars, as he did not recall any naked shower scene or stolen kiss between Henry Hill,...

Diamond Jubilee Pageant - Pippa Middleton Keeps Her Bum Firmly Under Wraps

Anyone expecting a repeat of last year's Royal Wedding controversy - when Pippa Middleton's bottom completely stole the show - found only crushing disappointment as today's Diamond Jubilee Pageant passed peacefully off in the pouring rain, with nary...

Rangers To Merge With QPR

In what is sure to be regarded as a radical step, Glasgow Rangers, the second-best football team in the whole of Scotland, are set to merge with the English Premier League side Queens Park Rangers. Rangers, the Scottish ones, are currently deeply...

Ricky Gervais Addresses Those Persistent Drinking Rumors

LAS VEGAS - Ricky Gervais traveled to Las Vegas to visit the world famous Hoover Dam. The British comedian stood in awe as he gazed upon the concrete monstrosity and simply remarked "Damn!" (no pun intended). Gervais was accompanied by his hair...

Russell Brand blasts Graham Norton for 'making my mum cry' over failed marriage to Katy Perry

Appearing on the Graham Norton show to promote new film Rock of Ages, Essex boy Russell Brand blasted the Irish chat show for making his mum cry, after Norton asked about the fellow comics failed marriage to singer Katy Perry. Brand said that Nort...

Brain Eating Virus Identified - Could Be Responsible For Cannibal/Zombie Attacks

The Center for Diseased Conditions in Atlanta Ga. announced early Thursday that a mutant strain of the dreaded KMA2 nerve virus - which renders individuals incapable of coherent thought, and likely to react violently to things like flies and grey shi...

Steven Tyler Takes Jennifer Lopez For A Spin In His Brand New $1.1 Million Hennessey Venom GT Spyder and J.Lo's "Boy-Toy" Has A Fit!

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Steven Tyler stated that he was thrilled that his brand new $1.1 million Hennessey Venom GT Spyder has a sticker price that is higher than Simon Cowell's Bugatti Veyron, which is listed at an even $1 million. The American Idol ju...

Demi Moore Talks About Possibly Changing Her First Name

LOS ANGELES - Demi Moore, who has recently had more ups and downs than a Las Vegas house of ill-repute elevator, says that she is trying her best to cope with the fact that she was dumped big time by her former boy-toy husband Ashton "The Player" Kut...

Simon Cowell Action Figures Recalled En Masse

Toy manufacturer Ashbro have recalled 250,000 Simon Cowell action figures after a potential choking hazard was discovered. Over 375,000 of the action figures, with gripping hands and life like hair have already sold, making the toy this year's m...

An Upskirt Photo of Kate Gosselin Appears on The Internet and Boyfriend Russell Brand Is Not A Happy Camper

LA BREA - Russell Brand and Kate Gosselin were having dinner at the famed La Brea Tar Pits Diner when Russell went into his laptop and saw a photo of Kate on the Internet. The picture clearly showed her getting out of her car in a short plaid skir...

Amish Apparel Hits Stores Tomorrow

The highly anticipated opening of Amish clothing store chain "Buckles" has many young people camping outside Malls, determined to be the first to own a ridiculous hat, with no functional use and a pair of uncomfortable Amish sneakers, with the trade...

Funny story: Kate Middleton Unable to Conceive and Will Adopt Baby from Ethiopia after Advice from Angelina Jolie and Madonna - Prince Phillip Horrified

Kate Middleton Unable to Conceive and Will Adopt Baby from Ethiopia after Advice from Angelina Jolie and Madonna - Prince Phillip Horrified

Buckingham Palace has announced that Kate Middleton and Prince William are to adopt a child from Africa after today's earlier announcement that Kate Middleton is unable to conceive. The Royals have sought advice from Angelina Jolie and Madonna...

View 'Kate Middleton Unable to Conceive and Will Adopt Baby from Ethiopia after Advice from Angelina Jolie and Madonna - Prince Phillip Horrified'

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