BILLINGSGATE POST - Disgraced Congressman Anthony Weiner entered Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest on Coney Island hoping to redeem himself by eating more weiners than the other contestants. Instead, he created another controversy by claiming t...
Las Vegas, Nevada - Just when we thought we had "smoothed things over" with the Almighty, some dingle berry sets His house on fire.
A fireworks display in Las Vegas, Nevada, reported to be the largest in the world, went completely crazy during a J...
NEW YORK CITY - Kathie Holmes has been keeping pretty much of a low profile in regards to her filing for divorce from her husband of five years Tom Cruise.
But reports are surfacing out of the Big Apple, where Katie is living with daughter Suri, t...
London - Quite what he was doing in Wimbledon's royal box is a mystery, flanked by the likes of gold digger Kate Middleton and assorted other desperate Z-Listers.
Today the facial similarity between Anthony Henman - father of top UK tennis no-wozz...
Dear Constituents
What a hectic week and it's only Wednesday.
My theme today is Europe and so my Newsletter is full of complicated statistics that might only be full appreciated by my constituents with a decent education.
So, for the majority of you (and that includes that upstart who thinks he's in with a chance to take over from me at the next election) I'll try to simplify things.
Who would have guessed that the man in the Superman costume was an impostor?
It appears that Orlando has housed both Mickey Mouse and a dirty rat.
Newly hired Orlando Magic GM Rob Hennigan has reached for both the bottle of aspirin this week...
The Associated Press is reporting this morning that Chief Justice John Roberts was spotted boarding an international flight at Ronald Reagan International Airport. Evidently Justice Roberts was wearing sackcloth and ashes in an attempt to disguise hi...
A gigantic Higgs Boson has been discovered during a session of relief caused by too many curries and chips bought at a local Indian take-away (not a racist comment BTW).
The explosion took place on an outside bog (better known as a crap-hole) in N...
Bern, Switzerland-- Excited physicists at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) have finally discovered the elusive Higgs Boson. The sub-atomic particle has been the object of an intense search by scientists for over thirty years. Tears of joy at its dis...
A particle of the late, great Charlie Higgs-boson has reportedly been found in the large Hadrians Wall collider outside the Dignitas Clinic in Switzerland.
It is thought this could be the crucial particle in finding out the origins of derivative...
Stanton St Bernard, Wiltshire - Five teardrop pendants 'dangling like chandelier crystals' from a pentagonally-spired design are a classic Scientology temple symbol an expert said today.
"They represent Katie Holmes' tears during her five year mar...
TOKYO (AP) - The United States is moving ahead with plans to deploy its first Ospreys to Japan, despite strong opposition from residents over safety issues and concerns about their behavior patterns. Local residents have heard of the damage they have...
Leading pro-life groups have extended their anti-abortion campaign to post-Eucharistic stools. According to the pro-lifers, it is a "blasphemous, anti-life abomination" to empty one's bowels within 48 hours of consuming the body of Christ during reli...
Only a legend could dare.
When the effervescent Dwyane Wade of the Miami Heat donned his hot pink hot pants walking into the lockerroom during playoffs, he looked like a giant Pepto-Bismal pill waiting to be swallowed by someone with a deep sense...
Cern scientists revealing results from the Large Hadron Collider have claimed the discovery of a new particle consistent with the Higgs boson.
Boffins have been searching for 45 years for the particle which they believe will explain how matter at...
The Pride of the Apple iPhone 4, Siri, has been caught cloning identities and stealing credit card data. The artificially intelligent assistant on the phone has been using Bluetooth to connect to nearby unencrypted phones and extract any credit card...
The Higgs boson, the particle that has cost untold billions of dollars to detect, has potentially been discovered, just as the Cern scientists said it would be earlier in the year.
The Hadron collider is due to be shut down at the end of the year...
IRVING, Texas - Chuck E. Cheese's mascot, the giant, hideous-looking rodent has been shooed out the front door.
After 35 years of being the official spokesrat for one of America's leading children's pizza establishments Chuck E. will join the rank...
HOLLYWOOD - Tri-Moon films in association with Durango Grundyweather have just released a media notification memo that filming will soon begin on the vampire troll drama The Vampire Trolls of Transylvania.
Grundyweather who will be producing as we...
50 Shades of Grey by E L James
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10 Shades of Shit by Chantelle Battersby
50 Shades of grey is the book of the moment. Everybody is trying to get their hands on a copy of this book of "Mummy Porn". But is it as good as all the hype makes it out to be. ?
A local first time author, Chantelle Battersby from Miles Platting Manchester, claims that author E L James had stolen her id...