Funny story:  Football Gossip & comments 20th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 20th July 2012

Ledley King has announced his retirement from the top flight game after injuries stopped him from training between games. He will continue to turn out for Tottenham Hotspur. Stuart Pearce done a u-turn on a previous statement he made, saying he wanted the Players aged 23 and under in the Euro 2012 squad available for Team GB Olympic Football squad. Well at least someone wants Andy Carroll...
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Funny story:  Translation attained of Ann Romney's comment on tax returns: 'We've given all you people need to know'

Translation attained of Ann Romney's comment on tax returns: 'We've given all you people need to know'

WASHINGTON - Experts were quick to point out that Ann Romney was not mincing words today when she told ABC News, "We've given all you people need to know" in terms of past income tax returns. Linguists, however, were even quicker to disagree. "...
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Funny story:  Higgs Boson Not Quite As Reported

Higgs Boson Not Quite As Reported

Physicists recently made headlines by announcing their discovery of the Higgs boson-the long sought-after, so-called "God Particle." The God Particle would explain pretty much everything in the universe. Or so the media report. According to reputable...
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Funny story:  Local Man Brands Home Secretary, Theresa May, As: "A Brain-Dead Muppet"

Local Man Brands Home Secretary, Theresa May, As: "A Brain-Dead Muppet"

Speaking from his 1960's retro-themed council tower block in Titchfield, Hants this evening, local man, Martin Shuttlecock angrily declared that in his opinion, Home Secretary, Theresa May, is "a brain-dead muppet" with no tangible grip on reality, a...
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Funny story:  Rhode Island Woman Files for Divorce from Reality, Pleading Domestic Violence

Rhode Island Woman Files for Divorce from Reality, Pleading Domestic Violence

The scourge of domestic violence is not limited to traditional male-female or other intimate human relationships; it may occur between a person and reality itself - at least that's what 28-year-old Newport, Rhode Island resident Regina Bartwell belie...
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Funny story:  Africanized 'killer' bees swarming on Roundhouse ahead of Amy Winehouse anniversary

Africanized 'killer' bees swarming on Roundhouse ahead of Amy Winehouse anniversary

London - "Reckon it started with bizarre alien activity in the Beehive Nebula," a North London apiarist explained this morning, "sent some hives mental just after the Solstice." News of the swarm brought dozens of firemen to the famous Camden audi...
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Funny story:  Reality TV show Banker Island cancelled

Reality TV show Banker Island cancelled

The making of new reality television show "Banker Island" has been cancelled after three days, when the contestants ran out of food and requested help. The show put eight banking executives on a desert island where they should have had enough resourc...
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Funny story:  Santonio Holmes Wants to Accentuate the Positive

Santonio Holmes Wants to Accentuate the Positive

Santonio Holmes, New York Jet figure of fun, has complained now that the media is reporting on negative things. the media is reporting on negative things. He wants the media to accentuate the positive. If the media follows Santonio's dictum, ther...
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Funny story:  Cheltenham Dart Team form the British Javelin Medal Hopes

Cheltenham Dart Team form the British Javelin Medal Hopes

The three members of the Cheltenham and District Darts Club have been roped in at the last minute to compete for the British Javelin team after it was discovered that Britain's current medal hopes have all been struck down with Repetitive Strain Inju...
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Funny story:  Intelligent Design Adherent sues the Intelligent Designer

Intelligent Design Adherent sues the Intelligent Designer

Karl Mankini of Rotterdam has begun a legal action against his own religion for what he perceives to be basic design flaws. Mankini is a member of the Intelligent Design Cult that believes that all living things were designed to look like they loo...
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Funny story:  Gronk Arrested by Belichick's Secret Police

Gronk Arrested by Belichick's Secret Police

After all the hue and cry, Belichick is shutting down the sturm and drang of Gronk on parade. Yes, Gronk has hit a telephone pole (metaphorically speaking) like Captain Jason the Kidd. We can only imagine what horrors would befall Rob Gronkowsk...
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Funny story:  Crowd surfing accident leaves fifteen injured at Meat Loaf concert

Crowd surfing accident leaves fifteen injured at Meat Loaf concert

Crowd surfing is the act of a performer leaping from the stage into a crowd and being carried by a multitude of hands out into the crowd and back again. The origins of crowd surfing are lost in the annals of time, but many agree that the first perfor...
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Funny story:  Romney:  "It's my tub, my bar of soap, and it's nobody's business how long I wash it!"

Romney: "It's my tub, my bar of soap, and it's nobody's business how long I wash it!"

Mitt Romney in an angry outburst regarding his income taxes was so explicit; many of the female journalists walked out of the press briefing and Ann Romney reportedly covered her face and fled the room. Romney, who apparently was trying to explain...
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Funny story:  Cosmologists answer science's biggest question: What colour is space?

Cosmologists answer science's biggest question: What colour is space?

Space, according to Douglas Adams at least, is big. Very big. But what does Douglas Adams know? Cosmologists already know it's so much bigger than that. What they didn't know was what colour space was. They know it smells of fish and tastes of roa...
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Funny story:  End of the Stretched Limo on British Streets

End of the Stretched Limo on British Streets

There is to be a major overhaul of limos and other stretched vehicles bringing an end to the presence of these luxuries to British streets. All limos are to be shipped back to USA. Parliament voted unanimously to return these vehicles to the Stat...
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Funny story:  New Texas Voter ID Law Bars Students OKs Labrador Retrievers to Vote

New Texas Voter ID Law Bars Students OKs Labrador Retrievers to Vote

The Texas State Legislature today took a bold and rather stunning step to deflect unwanted attention from its earlier passage of a voter ID law that permitted concealed firearms permits to pass for valid voting Id while barring student Ids for the sa...
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Funny story:  GOP Scientist Explains Romney's "Retroactive Retirement Dilemma" with His Theory of Retro-Activity

GOP Scientist Explains Romney's "Retroactive Retirement Dilemma" with His Theory of Retro-Activity

Recently on CNN's State of the Union, Romney's adviser Ed Gillespie stated that Gov. Romney retroactively retired from Bain Capital in 1999 though it actually occurred in 2002. Mr. Gillespie as of this date has offered no explanation on how one i...
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Funny story:  Jeremy Lin Leaves The New York Knicks - Joins The Houston Rockets

Jeremy Lin Leaves The New York Knicks - Joins The Houston Rockets

NEW YORK CITY - Jeremy Lin was busy playing a game of Scrabble on his cell phone when it rang. He answered it and it was a representative with the Houston Rockets Nat "Nothing But Net" Toddybicken, 61, telling him that they had agreed to his reque...
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Funny story:  US 2014 Olympic Uniforms will be American Made, Well at Least the Boxes they're Packaged in

US 2014 Olympic Uniforms will be American Made, Well at Least the Boxes they're Packaged in

After the uproar by the US Congress over the discovery that the 2012 US Summer Olympic Uniforms were all made in China, it was announced today the 2014 Olympic Uniforms will be made by a US Company. Standing outside the US Capitol, Sneaker of th...
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Funny story:  Madonna Asked To Leave England Immediately!

Madonna Asked To Leave England Immediately!

LONDON - Madonna who will turn 54, on August 16, performed before a far from sell-out audience in Hyde Park. The "Material Girl" who is now known as the "Material Grandma" received a less than enthusiastic reception and was booed constantly during...
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